The Request for a Raise

  1. Dear Sir
    I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reason: I
    do physical labour. I work at great depths. I plunge head first into
    everything I do. I don't get weekends and public holidays off. I work in a damp environment. I work in dark places that have poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

    Yours sincerely


    His employer replies

    Dear Penis,

    After considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects
    your request for the following reasons. You never work eight hours straight.
    You fall asleep after brief work periods. You do not always follow the
    orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and often seen visiting other locations. You do not take the initiative: you need to be stimulated in order to start working. You leave the workplace messy at the end of your shift. You do not always observe the necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing. You will retire well before you are 65. You are unable to work double shifts. You regularly leave the assigned task. And, as if that were not enough, you have been continually seen exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

    Yours sincerely,

    The Management

  2. Visit FranEMTnurse profile page

    About FranEMTnurse, LPN, EMT-I Pro

    Joined: Jun '02; Posts: 14,833; Likes: 8,035


  3. by   suzy253
    [font=Comic Sans MS]Buuwaaaahaaaaaaaaaaa

    [font=Comic Sans MS]oh are too funny. that was great. just what i needed!
  4. by   nursebedlam
    was tops :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
  5. by   chris_at_lucas_RN
    DH came in just as I was about to email this to him. I read it out loud--couldn't make it all the way through without laughing and gasping, and he was laughing to.

    When I could breathe again, I asked him if he wanted a raise. We both started laughing again.

    It really is the best medicine..... thanks!

  6. by   leslie :-D
    well i'm the penis's wife and i would LOVE a raise!!!!

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