Patients say the darndest things - page 2

Have you ever had a patient share a gem of their own medical wisdom with you ... and it just struck you as funny? Today I had an older patient, 1st day post-op. He had an NG in place which was... Read More

  1. by   DF-LPN
    It was my first 11-7 shift working by myself. I was sitting at the desk charting and i heard this lady say, " George I have a headache, go to sleep!" I sat up and look around to see who was talking and no one was there. Next I heard, "George I said NO! I have a headache!!! Leave me alone!" So I got up and started walking down the hall to see what was going on. At the 2nd room I heard this little old lady say, "Oh alright already come on!" So I peaked into this room in time to see this lady roll over in bed towards the side rail and throw her arm over it like she was hugging it, then she said, " Well dammit! thats just a side rail poking at me!" That was my first on the job experience that no matter how old you are sex is still on the brain LOL:imbar
  2. by   mother/babyRN
    I floated to the emergency room once and interviewed an elderly woman as to why she came to the er..She looked at me quizzically and asked me where else did I think she should go. I tried to explain that I needed to know the reason she came. Because I'm sick you fool! After getting through that fiasco, I had to ask her what medications she was on. Latex and rabbit pills..I politely excused myself and checked her old records..The meds were actually "Lasix and verapamil" Couldn't wait to get out of there...She did NOT like me...
  3. by   KlareRN
    While working in a long term care facility- I had gone in to introduce myself to a new admit and his family. When I walked into the room- his wife and son were putting his clothes away in his closet and he was sitting on the bed. I began talking to him (to determine his cognitive level- it was on an alzheimers unit). I introduced myself and said "And you must be John..." He looked at me and then said something about "the farm..." His wife then smiled at me and said- "This is my husband John and he is "sprinkled" with alzheimers."
    She said it with such love and affection....I think it made the diagnosis easier for her to accept..."sprinkle" is a soft gentle word. "John" is still living at that facility and his dedicated wife still visits him daily (3 yrs later)
  4. by   dianah
    Working in the Cath Lab, one of the Cardiologists swore he could feel when the X-rays were on, could feel them going through him. . .. The techs and I would just roll our eyes @ each other (but hey, -- really, who knows???!!!)
  5. by   kaycee
    Question to pt in ER. Do you have any allergies to medication?
    Answer, I'm allergic to Novacaine.
    Question, what type of reaction do you have?
    Answer, I get numb.
    (true story)
  6. by   Furball
    Originally posted by kaycee
    Question to pt in ER. Do you have any allergies to medication?
    Answer, I'm allergic to Novacaine.
    Question, what type of reaction do you have?
    Answer, I get numb.
    (true story)
    LOL! I had a pt state that he was allergic to ambien because it made him sleepy!
  7. by   anitame
    A doc told me last night he was discussing code status with a woman. She said "Doctor, I want everything possible done for me, unless I'm gonna be a vegetarian for the rest of my life."


  8. by   kaycee
  9. by   CATHYW
    True story, once in ER in FL, once in ER in GA:
    "Are you allergic to anything?" "Yes, I'm allergic to epenephrine."
  10. by   WashYaHands
    I had a patient ask me once, "That's a lovely shade of brown eye shadow that you have on, what's it called?"

    My response, "Three 12's by Short staffed" (I don't wear eye shadow).

  11. by   Medsurg
    I had a patient tell me that they were allergic to zofran because it make them nausea. LOl
  12. by   KaraLea
    My father had a TURP done a few months ago and when he was coming out from under the drugs, my mother was right there by his side. He told her "Do I know you? You sure are pretty" Then he motioned her to come closer and he whispered in her ear..."My pecker hurts"

    :uhoh21: :uhoh21: