I Turned 5 Shades of RED!!

Jo_deye_yuh · Aug 8, 2000

On that note I will also share a story about that same friend from the above story.

She was the funniest gal I have ever known, and a great nurse. However, she could not, I repeat, could not handle body excrement. She had no experience in doing full cares except for her own children. So when we started pt care in our LTC rotation, her eyes were opened.

We were partners and helped eachother with each of our pts. We had to take my pt to the BR, and with one of us at either side of my pt, helped her on and off the commode. "Ms. Smith's" bowels were definately in working order, and as we were holding her up to help her pull her britches up...my friend began to look away. Then I realized what she was doing. As I asked her if she was OK, she turned toward me and began to speak..but she couldn't. All that came out was..."GaaGugh". Her eyes rolled back to the top of her head, her cheeks sucking in, while her epiglottis danced in her throat. (Just what my son looks like when being forced to each mashed potatoes!) I held back my laughter, as the sight was quite amusing, but I didn't want the pt to feel bad, nor did I want to make light of my friend's plight.

As the day went on, we both went our separate ways, spending time with our pts. Around noon, I was on my way to go to lunch, when I began to head down the hallway that her pt's room was on. I was about 3 rooms away from the room she was in and I started to hear something odd. The closer I got, the louder and more frequently the odd sound echoed into the hallway. As I approached the doorway I was bemused by what I saw.

She had just changed her pt's brief, and from what I could see, he definately had a good intake of nat lax and Fe. The strange sound I heard echoing down the hall was her...gagging uncontrollably! "Huughacht, huughacht". Poor girl, her face was bright red, beads of sweat on her brow and upper lip, clammy, and looking like a pathetic, lost little girl. Of course my compassion was shown by bursting into gutteral laughter, then leaving the room to regain my composure.

As the weeks waged on, she still suffered with her 'epiglottis reflex disorder'. She eventually was told by one of our instructors that she had better get used to it, and get a handle on her reflex or she would not make it in nursing.

Well she made it, and to this day will tell you, she still suffers from her "Gagorophelia". Remembering her facial distortions and sound effects she made, makes me burst into giggles each time the memory flashes.

Thanks Barbie for the lighter side of life!

[This message has been edited by Jo_deye_yuh (edited August 08, 2000).]

Jo_deye_yuh · Sep 21, 2000

Got another one...

As an office nurse, I try to balance the day of checking in patients, scheduling diagnostic tests and surgeries, assisting in and performing procedures, etc. Sometimes the doc spends a little too much time with a patient and it throws the whole schedule off kilter. Patients get backed up in the waiting room and he hurridly tries to catch up.

One day, while trying to keep the schedule flowing smoothly, I was checking in new pts just as soon as finished ones left the rooms. I entered the waiting room and announced the pt's name. "Daniel 'So-n-So'. I said the name twice and up jumped a man in his mid 40's.

The appt for this Daniel was to review a MRI and recheck of a knee. As I escorted him down the hall and entered the exam room I told him, "Well we got your MRI and report back and the doc will be in shortly to review the results". The man went along with everything I said and seemed to understand what I was telling him. I asked how he was doing and reviewed the last few dictations from the chart. I asked questions pertaining to the chart notes and the pt responded appropriately. However, this man was a tad bit off his rocker and began to recite the movie "Scar Face". He was using this movie as a reference to his feelings about dealing with workman's comp. After depicting scenes played by Al Paccino, (including machine gun sounds and actions to go with them), I anxiously made my way to the door. I could not get a word in edge wise, to interject an appropriate and polite exit. As I stood in the doorway I looked out at some of my fellow nurses with a look of "help me". Finally, I quickly said, "The doctor will be right with you", and shut the door.

As the doc took the chart from the box on the door, I shared the 'movie' experience I had just had. He giggled and ventured inside the exam room.

Soon he came out of the room. Much too soon to have reviewed the MRI. His face was bright red and he was snickering uncontrollably. He then grabbed my arm and said, "Jodie, that patient is... is...". He continued to giggle. I thought he was trying to tell me what a loon the pt was and corroborate what I had explained to him earlier. But as he composed himself he said, "I am supposed to review a MRI on Daniel 'So-n-So'". I said yeah and... He said, "That is not Daniel 'So-n-So'." I was confused.

"Daniel 'So-n-So' is a 16 y/o FEMALE!, not a 40+ y/o MALE!!", he said.

OMG...I hurridly went to the waiting room and asked for "Daniel 'So-n-So'"...up stood a 16 y/o female. I asked her why she didn't come the first time I called her name. She said, "Well that guy jumped up and beat me to the door, and I thought that you knew what you were doing". HA HA HA HA HA HA.

My doc said that in all his years of being a physician that had NEVER happened to him. He got quite a kick out of my mix up and rubbed it in, and how.

I went back and asked the man what his name was and he said, "Daniel 'Si-n-Si'". I asked him what his appt was about and which doc he was supposed to see. He told me it was for his neck and was to see a doc in another department!

This taught me that there is MORE to just a name. I assumed the masculine name 'Daniel' would be met by a male. By doing so, I made an ASS out of myself!!!

Laugh out loud. Have a good day.

laurasc · Oct 15, 2000

ROTFLOL!! That's so funny! I have that problem only it's with vomit. When I was a student nurse I found myself holding a kidney basin under one lady's chin while she proceeded to lose her entire lunch. I have to admit, I was holding my own...clenched my teeth and looked away. But half-way though I realized that she was wearing dentures. Afraid that she would lose them in the kidney basin (I didn't want to go fishing), I waited until she had stopped for a few seconds and told her to put her dentures into her denture cup. She didn't. She dropped it into the kidney basin and it quickly disappeared below the surface. With my stomach lurching I ran to the bathroom, put the full very k-basin into the sink, turned on the cold water and left. I came back a few minutes later to find the basin and teeth nice and clean.

Laura

Originally posted by Jo_deye_yuh:
She was the funniest gal I have ever known, and a great nurse. However, she could not, I repeat, could not handle body excrement.

Jo_deye_yuh · Nov 22, 2000

Laura~ Thanks for your reply. I think it is all the 'gross' things we nurses have to deal with day in and day out that gives us such a demented sense of humor! Things that others would be repulsed and angered by, make us giggle. We have to find the humor in it...or how else could anyone do the job well? Have a good day and Happy Nursing.

Health and Blessings~ Jodie

Jo_deye_yuh · Dec 8, 2000

Joke:

Did you hear about the dead, naked nurse that washed up on shore today?

How did they know she was a nurse?...

-her stomach was empty, her bladder was full, and her ass was chewed out!

nurse020302 · Apr 20, 2006

Lol!!!

99_99africa · Apr 21, 2006

My weakness is sputum, green, white, black all alike my stomach is already churning.

weetziebat · Apr 21, 2006

.

My weakness is sputum, green, white, black all alike my stomach is already churning.

I totally agree. Especially when the secretions are flying across the room from a trach patient coughing. Sorry, but I gotta leave the room, or I'd upchuck myself.

blue49 · Apr 21, 2006

years ago when i worked in icu i was caring for a patient and for some reason while he was turned toward me he asked if i had ever been vomited on..... and i said no thank god, and i asked if he was nauseated and he said no...... about 4 minutes later he hurled and filled the front of my uniform and my bra........well we had scrubs to change into but i did not routinely carry a spare bra so i had to wear the one i had on, minus the vomit i had to clean out, until my dad could bring me another change of clothes.........i am so glad the smell wasn't too bad......and that he did not have a bowel obstruction and had not eaten recently (no chunks)........well i was a few shades of red that night............ :uhoh3:

i was probably just barely over 20 too........lol

i have now been a nurse almost 30 years.

knockandhello · Jun 6, 2006

My weakness is sputum, green, white, black all alike my stomach is already churning.

I can tolerate anything but someone with a gut obstruction vomiting faecal matter.Oh yeah and removal of toenails,the smell of a diathermy needle on flesh,incision into abdominal fascia .They must be the top of the list. :eek: :eek:

Ayeloflo · Jun 7, 2006

I'd feel just like you do, I guess. But I'd get used to it over time, hopefully