Funniest/strangest dementia patient stories - page 9

I'm sure we all have them, especially those of us who have worked in LTC. Here are some of mine: climbing into other residents' beds and taking a time we found the resident... Read More

  1. by   uRNmyway
    Quote from kathynurse46
    I had pt with g-tube who somnvitedo iut whe how got off unit glad i wasnt working that day !!!!! but invited some of the other residence to bar when staff showed up they were all drunk pt on bar waving her depends

    Um, can I buy a vowel?
  2. by   ktwlpn
    "somnvitedo iut whe" That sounds like dirty fun....
  3. by   salvadordolly
    had an elderly guy come up to me and hand me what must have been the world's record for the largest turd and said "here honey, you must know where this goes."
  4. by   drowningdaily
    While d/c ing a foley...Had the sweetest little old guy say quite sincerely, "You seem like a nice enough whore, but I don't have any money to pay you."
  5. by   julz68
    When I was a CNA years ago at a LTC, there was a lil ol lady that always sat in her wheelchair by the nurse's station. She had a chair alarm in her seat and would always try to stand up. She'd go to stand and the alarm would go off... beep beep beep. She'd try again... beep beep beep. Then she exclaimed, "Well if someone would just feed those damn birds, maybe they'd shut the heck up!"
  6. by   NursexOx
    When I was in clinical we were sitting in a room with the teacher talking to us and an old man walked by pushing his walker, with giant headphones on singing this rap song "blame it on the alcohol".
  7. by   monkeybug
    Quote from nurserosita
    I took a client for a walk outside, when all of a sudden he turned to me and asked if they were any tigers there.

    While doing a task, I was mumbling to myself. I told my patient not pay attention and that I also talk to the computer. She wanted to know if it answered me back.

    During an overnight shift in an elderly couple's home, I was awakened in the middle of the night by an argument they were having. The wife (who had dementia) was convinced she was hearing noises in their bedroom and the husband (who did not have dementia) said she was imagining. I asked the wife to show me where the noises were coming from. It turned out it was the husband's hearing aids that were making that noise, but he couldn't hear them.
    One of my first jobs was in a very old hospital. We had a patient who was insisting that mice were dancing in the room. The nurse was humoring him, until the "dancing" mouse ran across her foot.
  8. by   lauriepat
    When i was in nursing school..

    There was a little old lady who would roll around in her w/c and talk to us. She would look at us, clap her hands and shout "i'm gon' tear your hindparts up!!!" Every few minutes she'd point at someone different and say " is trouble. You the ringleader!"
    The funniest thing this woman would do though..she'd motion for you to come close so she could whisper in your ear, and proceed to ask you "can you find me a rich old man with no balls?"

    Where i work now is something different everynight. I was in the med room and i heard this old man ask one of the cna's, "are yall goin to give me some sex or should i just go back to bed?"

    One morning a man was sitting in his w/c,
    Looks at me and 3 of my coworkers and shouts, "four women and no coffee!!"

    I love geriatrics and memory care. So many stories to tell.
  9. by   nrsang97
    There was a cute little old guy one night sitting in the hall at work. His name was John (changed). I stopped to talk to him and said "Hi John, what are you reading?" He told me "I don't know. I am just trying to look impressive." I told him to keep it up he was doing a good job. Later I walked by again and he told me it was called Savages. He also said that I needed to "get a memory" He said "mine is gone and it takes about 20 years to get one." I replied "Well then I guess I am in some deep trouble."

    My grandma has dementia and told my mom that "those trees are dead and they just don't know it yet". My mom and dad busted out laughing.

    My grandma is obsessed with the trees around when the seasons change. She also keeps asking me about my son and having to go to school even though she knows it is summer and July.

    My grandma was walking around the store with me and picking up every piece of plastic and boxes an putting it in the garbage. She was obsessed with it to a insane point. I had to tell her to leave it that maybe they were not throwing it away for a reason.

    My grandma thought my son came with me to see her in the hospital tonight. He was at home in bed.

    One day while I was taking a nap before night shift my grandma left my house and walked to her house ( 15 blocks) and left me a note that she went. My mom asked her why she waited till I was asleep to do it and she replied "she wouldn't let me if she was awake so I waited for her to go to take her nap before work."

    My grandma also left my house in the middle of the night with only her pajamas on. No socks, no shoes, no jacket, and no glasses. When we asked her why she did it she said "I need to go to my house to get it ready to sell. I wish the cops would have picked me up. I was getting sore feet from walking all that way." Now I have my doors alarmed at night so I can hear her get up and open the door.

    Grandma constantly packs her clothes in plastic bags and I have no idea why except she thinks she may need them at her house. We have told her she isn't going to live alone because it isn't safe.
  10. by   Leonca
    3. Had a very dememted confused guy- who only had one eye, and was only able to say a few phrases....most often it was "Ohhhh hunnyhunnyhunny hunny hunny....." This gentleman had a Merrywalker, a large chair made from PVC tubeing, that basically made it possible for him to tool around the floors by himself- picture a giant baby walker. So this was a locked geriatric facility- the CNAs came and told me they couldn't find Mr. we search the building. Finally found him, he had pushed the laundry room door open and entered, but couldn't get back out, had been bumping around in there like a bee in a bottle. We opened the door, and he fairly FLEW out of the door, down the hall....all we heard was OHHHHHH HUNNY HUNNY HUnny.
    This is, hands down, the story that made me laugh the most.
  11. by   misstrinad
    I have worked on a lockdown dementia unit for over 5 years and frequently catch residents running around naked, crawling into beds with other residents, urinating EVERYWHERE
    . A few years ago an almost completely nonverbal resident states clear as day at the lunch table "i just want to die" before I can reassure the resident another resident quips back "you can't die yet, then we wouldn't have anyone to pick on"
    I found a resident naked from the waist down literally doing a 'native American dance' around a pile of poop by the nurses desk with a pair of slippers in her hand. She hands the slippers to me stating "that man Gave these to me and I don't want them" then continues her dancing. This same resident one day had an extremely rare moment of clarity and looks at me and says "im so sorry" I asked why she was sorry and she states "well I know I'm not always that nice to you, sometimes I hit you and stuff" which was true she was usually VERY combative with cares always knowing exactly where to pinch on the fatty sensitive underside of my arm. I reply that yes you do hit me sometimes and it isn't nice because it hurts. She says " well I'm really sorry about that" we had a nice hug and went to get some ice cream after that little heart to heart.

    I have a fairly new male resident who has developed a liking for a particular female day I busted him leaning over her bed trying to kiss her....I stop him and try to explain he can't be kissing her because he's married...his response "SO?!"....I managed to get him to leave by explaining its not appropriate for him to be in a ladies bedroom. Then she is climbing OOB yelling at me for chasing him away and I finally calm her down when I explain he's married but sometimes forgets. She was not happy but decided not to peruse him.
  12. by   misstrinad
    I have a resident that has only a few phrases in her vocabulary one being "yoohoo" that he yells constantly. One day I quipped back nesquick! And looks at me and says "uh uh NO. yoohoo!" Another phrase is "hunny hunny hunny" he motioned me over one day saying "hunny hunny come here honey" I go over and say back "hello honey" he looks at me and says "no! Honey booboo!"
  13. by   AmyRN303
    My sweet grandfather proposed to his nurse once (he was oriented to my grandmother only when she was visiting him) and his nurse reminded him that he was married to I recall, he did not remember this at the time and continued his pursuit of the nurse, who knew our family well. She said, "you know I'm Catholic, right? It might not work out because of our differences in religion." And told him how very flattered she was that he had chosen her. Grandpa thought about it for a minute and said decidedly, "That's okay. I'll convert."

    He passed away over ten years ago and we still joke about him. His sense of humor continued to the end.

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