Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 5

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the... Read More

    Oh how I do love this thread , between this one and the ER funnies Im about to go incontient.
    Love this and Desperately needed the Laugh.
  2. by   dpqueen
    I once had a doctor whose girlfriend was in the hospital and she wanted her hair to be colored so he wrote the order to apply Loreal to pt hair per instructions on the box. ......YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING.
    I told him that it was outside of my scope of practice, I did not learn how to do that in nursing school.
  3. by   dv8rn
    In a code situation, one of our new residents declared the patient to be in "Pulseless Winkebach"!??:roll :roll
  4. by   caroladybelle
    PS. The coffee enemas are "supposed" to cure cancer.

    That is right up there with Suzanne Somers' using injections of a mistletoe derivative because it is "natural"
  5. by   Jay-Jay
    (quote)....That is right up there with Suzanne Somers' using injections of a mistletoe derivative because it is "natural"

    Yeah. So is cyanide!

  6. by   911fltrn
    Kiss my --- v.o. dr --------
  7. by   ShandyLynnRN
    oh dear!!!! well did you follow that order 911fltrn?
  8. by   BjOnrs
    still on the etoh subject...
    Here was a weird episode with a poor sot 3 sheets to the wind.....

    Several years while I was working, this slightly (ok...really trashed) patient comes into my ICU. Now the admission assessment form asks if the patient is an organ donor (not the brightest question to ask a patient on assessment I think, but they put it on the form.....). The poor drunk didn't know what an organ donor was, so I explained to him what organ donation meant, and that it was intended for AFTER death should he wish it. He then replied that he was NOT an organ donor. About an hour or so later, there is all this noise coming from his room.....he was pulling his monitor wires off, IV out, climbing out of bed yelling "PLEASE KILL ME BEFORE YOU CUT MY HEART OUT!!!!!" I swear this actually happened. Well after I finished laughing myself silly, I went and reassured the poor scared to death patient that we were not going to cut his heart out or kill him. Go figure....

    Cheer up they said, things could always be worse, so we cheered up...and things got like the local ED

    LOL Once when I was working an outpatient surgery unit a little ole lady came in for a procedure and I launched into the required organ donor speal. She sat straight up in bed and announced "NO mam, I'm not through using them yet!" I tried to explzin wwe didn't want them right then but she dressed and left the hospital quickly. All the way whe kept muttering "I ain't through using them Yet." ROFLMAO
  9. by   ceebee
    About the BV 30cc q6h orders....
    If doctor had taken those precautions with this one 35y/o male pt, he wouldn't have pulled out IV's, broken window and went out on roof of 2nd floor and was hanging from the ledge with sheer will-power and fingernails, after having abdominal surgery from seat-belt injury after auto accident. I say more power to the doctor.
  10. by   YukonSean
    Recently, amongst a lengthy catalogue of numbered orders (pertaining to one of our "frequent flyers"), the doctor had written: "(13) wash this patient's feet ASAP please". I have also often seen etoh ordered for patients with alcohol dependence, or sometimes as hs sedation, when I was working psychogeriatrics.
  11. by   NS_RN
    Roll head of bed up when feeding patient.

    I have seen this 3 (yes 3!!!) times in my 12 years on routine admission orders for general med patients. I don't find it quite so funny anymore.Grrrrr.
  12. by   zudy
    We also use to give ETOH to alcoholics. We also gave a glass of wine to many COPD pts to stimulate appetite. Pharmacy sent us a little wine glass with a snap-on top to serve it in.
  13. by   sehbear
    A big hospital in my town has a recognised abbrevation..
    F.I.T.H. syndrome - I have seen it documented many a time...
    It means f*** in the head. I am not saying i agree with it but it does clear up so many things!!!