Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Nurses Humor

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To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

Specializes in Paediatrics, Orthopeodics, ENT, General.
I'm not sure exactly what a "Triple H" consists of...but they would hang some kind of hot liquid (soap suds?), hang it up high, and the helluva lot i'm assuming meant that it was waaaay more than the typical Fleets we give now! I think that sometimes "old time" enemas get ordered when you have someone who doesn't respond to more current measures. I don't know...I work in OB, so we rarely get people who are severely constipated or impacted. If they are, the baby usually pushes it out as they are being delivered! What a nice, natural way to clear the chute!:D

The ' Three H' enema would be related to the "soap 'n water" enema we were taught about, and that was only 16 years ago! 500mls of warm water, 2 to 4 squirts of soap, and a funnel attached to a tube to administer it with. You inserted the tube, held the funnel as high as you could (using a chair if you were really short) and poured the mixture into the funnel from a jug.

They did work, too! :yeah:

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Specializes in Medical.

Jessie, I have exactly the same issue where I work. Really? Sitting UP?! Could you explain how that... oh! To stop them... aspirating, was it? Thank God you came along! That explains why every stroke patient I've ever looked after turned navy and stopped breathing.

Yes, I know there are idiots out there, but we are the stroke unit and having Every Single Step spelled out (down to making sure they're awake and alert) is insulting.

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"Please provide Playstation consul for pt's use"

And I work on an ADULT critical care floor!!! Wonder where the doc expected us to get it from... (We don't have a peds dept.)

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"Please provide Playstation consul for pt's use"

And I work on an ADULT critical care floor!!! Wonder where the doc expected us to get it from... (We don't have a peds dept.)

By which route? :chuckle

In Illinois, it's illegal to leave medications at the patient's bedside. :jester:

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
One of our speech therapists took his job veeeeryyyy seriously, and got all the nurses off-side very quickly. In order to have pureed food and thickened fluids for our stroke patients, they needed an assessment from speech. He would come in, assess them, and then write instructions in the history and in the chart. In point form he would list instructions for feeding a very dense CVA with swallowing difficulties, underlining that the patient needed to be sitting upright, that only puree/thickened foods were to be used, and that we were to make sure the mouth was totally cleared before putting in the next spoonful.

Hmmmm..... After nursing for 10 years I thought it was a good idea to feed these people while laying down flat, and fill their mouths up untill they go blue. The Speech Therapist had no idea why he got the cold shoulder whenever he appeared on the ward.:banghead:

Better yet, why not just turn the patient upside down and bang his head? Duh duh duh
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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
Jessie, I have exactly the same issue where I work. Really? Sitting UP?! Could you explain how that... oh! To stop them... aspirating, was it? Thank God you came along! That explains why every stroke patient I've ever looked after turned navy and stopped breathing.

Yes, I know there are idiots out there, but we are the stroke unit and having Every Single Step spelled out (down to making sure they're awake and alert) is insulting.

I completely agree
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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
"Please provide Playstation consul for pt's use"

And I work on an ADULT critical care floor!!! Wonder where the doc expected us to get it from... (We don't have a peds dept.)

Maybe he thought you should do the good samaritan thingy and go buy one just for patient. Sarcasm intended:angryfire
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Specializes in ICU, telemetry, LTAC.

A new grad was working with us on nightshift and wasn't aware that one of our docs is, uh, high maintenance. He gave the nurse some telephone orders and asked that she page him at 4:30am for his wake up call.

Yup. The order went on to read, "Call MD at 4:30am to wake him up."

Now with my luck that'd be some (insert all the bad words here) who doesn't answer his pager, won't answer the phone and won't answer the door when you've gotten the police to go knock on his front door, thus making us wonder if he's even alive.

Yeah, I'm still steamed about that one. And when he called me, after I'd woken up every other doc in a 10 mile radius including the medical director, his question was, "are you nurses crazy?" Yes. That must be it.

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Specializes in LTC, ER.

This was not so much funny as it was irritating. The doctor actually (in the ER) wrote an order for a glass of water to be provided to the patient so that she could take her home pill. I'm like "What!" the doctor walks past the water fountain and the cups to log on to the computer and ask the RN to provide water to the pt? I found that to be extremely irritating and lazy.

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Specializes in ICU. Med/Surg: Ortho, Neuro, & Cardiac.

When I was unit secretary the other night, I transcribed an order that read, "Pt may go downstairs to smoke as often as he chooses."

The patient was POD#1 s/p right lobectomy and with a hx of emphysema, chronic bronchitis and Lung CA.

Then of course, working nights, there's one order you have to laugh at that I see from time to time "Please do not wake pt until 0700 hrs." But then they schedule vitals or IV abx q2h or for 0400.

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Specializes in PICU, CCU, Psych.

As a nursing student on my first med/surg clinicals, I was reading a patient's history and saw "T&A." I pondered this abbreviation for a long time and could only think of one thing that T&A stands for. I finally asked, "Does this mean breast augmentation and liposuction or something?" The nurses NEVER let me live it down!

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hope i didn't spoil the fun, but what does s/p and t&a mean... ??

keep em' coming please. :yeah::heartbeat:d:chuckle

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