Don't fart in bed!

  1. This is a story about a couple who had been
    > happily married for years.
    > The only friction in their marriage was the
    > husband's habit of farting
    > loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would
    > wake his wife and
    > the smell would make her eyes water and make her
    > gasp for air. Every
    > morning she would plead with him to stop ripping
    > them off because it was
    > making her sick to her stomach. He told her he
    > couldn't stop it and that
    > it was a perfectly natural body function. She told
    > him to see a doctor;
    > she was concerned that one day he would blow his
    > guts out.
    > >
    > > The years went by and he continued to rip them
    > out! Then on
    > Thanksgiving morning (as she was preparing the
    > turkey for dinner and he
    > was upstairs sound asleep), she looked at the bowl
    > where she had put the
    > turkey innards and the neck, gizzards, the liver and
    > all the spare parts
    > and a malicious thought came to her. She took the
    > bowl and went upstairs
    > where her husband was sound asleep. She gently
    > pulled back the bed
    > covers then she pulled back the elastic waistband of
    > his underpants and
    > emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
    > >
    > > Some time later she heard her husband waking with
    > his usual trumpeting
    > which was followed by a blood curdling scream and
    > the sound of frantic
    > footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife
    > could hardly contain
    > herself as she rolled all over the floor laughing
    > with tears in eyes and
    > rolling down her cheeks. After years of torture she
    > reckoned she had
    > gotten him back pretty damn good.
    > >
    > > After about twenty minutes had passed, her husband
    > comes downstairs in
    > his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on
    > his face. She bites
    > her lip as she asks him, 'what's the matter dear?'
    > He says, "Honey, you
    > were right! All these years you have warned me and I
    > didn't listen to
    > you." "What do you mean sweetheart?" asked the wife.
    > "Well, you always
    > told me that one day I would end up farting my guts
    > out and today it
    > finally happened. But by the grace of God, some
    > Vaseline and these two
    > fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
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    About jadednurse

    Joined: Apr '03; Posts: 1,438; Likes: 14


  4. by   ShelleyERgirl
    :roll ewww, I just got a nasty visual image, there goes that turkey "sammich" I was going to have for lunch tomorrow. Thanks alot chica!
  5. by   jayne109
    :roll :chuckle :roll :chuckle :kiss
  6. by   webbiedebbie
    Oh my gosh!
  7. by   renerian
    Heheheh good chuckle........

  8. by   Danamegg
    :lol: :lol:

    Oh goody!
  9. by   Shamrock
  10. by   nowplayingEDRN
  11. by   jnette
    oh Noooooooooooooooooooo !!!
  12. by   CseMgr1
    :roll Too funny...reminds me of my ex!

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