Don't fart in bed!

Nurses Humor

Published

This is a story about a couple who had been

> happily married for years.

> The only friction in their marriage was the

> husband's habit of farting

> loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would

> wake his wife and

> the smell would make her eyes water and make her

> gasp for air. Every

> morning she would plead with him to stop ripping

> them off because it was

> making her sick to her stomach. He told her he

> couldn't stop it and that

> it was a perfectly natural body function. She told

> him to see a doctor;

> she was concerned that one day he would blow his

> guts out.

>

> >

>

> > The years went by and he continued to rip them

> out! Then on

> Thanksgiving morning (as she was preparing the

> turkey for dinner and he

> was upstairs sound asleep), she looked at the bowl

> where she had put the

> turkey innards and the neck, gizzards, the liver and

> all the spare parts

> and a malicious thought came to her. She took the

> bowl and went upstairs

> where her husband was sound asleep. She gently

> pulled back the bed

> covers then she pulled back the elastic waistband of

> his underpants and

> emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

>

> >

>

> > Some time later she heard her husband waking with

> his usual trumpeting

> which was followed by a blood curdling scream and

> the sound of frantic

> footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife

> could hardly contain

> herself as she rolled all over the floor laughing

> with tears in eyes and

> rolling down her cheeks. After years of torture she

> reckoned she had

> gotten him back pretty damn good.

>

> >

>

> > After about twenty minutes had passed, her husband

> comes downstairs in

> his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on

> his face. She bites

> her lip as she asks him, 'what's the matter dear?'

> He says, "Honey, you

> were right! All these years you have warned me and I

> didn't listen to

> you." "What do you mean sweetheart?" asked the wife.

> "Well, you always

> told me that one day I would end up farting my guts

> out and today it

> finally happened. But by the grace of God, some

> Vaseline and these two

> fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

Specializes in LTC/Peds/ICU/PACU/CDI.

:rotfl:

Specializes in Oncology, Cardiology, ER, L/D.

:roll :p ewww, I just got a nasty visual image, there goes that turkey "sammich" I was going to have for lunch tomorrow. Thanks alot chica!:p

jayne109, RN

141 Posts

Specializes in ER/PDN.

:roll :chuckle :roll :chuckle :kiss :cool:

webbiedebbie

630 Posts

Specializes in OB, Telephone Triage, Chart Review/Code.

Oh my gosh!

renerian, BSN, RN

5,693 Posts

Specializes in MS Home Health.

Heheheh good chuckle........

renerian

Danamegg

159 Posts

:lol: :lol2: :lol: :lol2:

Oh goody!

Bleeechhh.....:)

nowplayingEDRN

799 Posts

Specializes in Step down, ICU, ER, PACU, Amb. Surg.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

jnette, ASN, EMT-I

4,388 Posts

Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.

oh Noooooooooooooooooooo !!! :eek: :D

CseMgr1, ASN, RN

1,287 Posts

Specializes in Case Management, Home Health, UM.

:roll Too funny...reminds me of my ex!

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