A cute joke...Now add yours!!

mopsi · Jan 30, 2003

OK HERE"S ONE MORE TO GET EVERYONE ON A ROLL.....

Four Jewish brothers left home for college, became doctors and prospered.

Some years later, chatting after a Chanukah dinner, they discussed the

gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother.

The first said, I had a big house built for Mama. The second said, I had a

hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house. The third said, had my

Mercedes dealer deliver her an SL600 with a chauffeur. The fourth said,

Listen to this. You know how Mama loves reading the Torah, and you know

that she can't see very well. So I sent her a parrot that can recite the

entire Torah. It took twenty rabbis 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge

to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years. But it was worth it. Mama

just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it.

Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote: Milton, the

house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean

the whole house. Thanks so much.

Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries

delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. Moreover, the driver is a Nazi. A

million thanks.

Menachim, you give me a theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people,

but all my friends are dead. I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. But

thanks, anyway.

Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a

little thought to your gift. Such a delicious chicken.

sjoe · Jan 30, 2003

There is a Nursing Humor forum on this BB for this kind of item.

OBNURSEHEATHER · Jan 30, 2003

Here's 17 pages of funnies in off-topic for you to catch up on!

https://allnurses.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=20844

Heather

tattooednursie, LVN · Jan 30, 2003

Ive got one.

This little old lady was admitted to a nursing home. She was sitting near the nurses station and began leaning to one side. A nurse quickly put a pillow to prevent the leaning. An hour later she was leaning to the other side, so they put a pillow under that side too. Later that evening the family came to visit her. "How do you like it here, ma?"

"Oh, its ok, but they won't even let me fart!"

pdmt · Jan 30, 2003

OK, I know there's a joke forum, but just have to add this----

A body washes up on shore and is taken to the coroner. He has done the post mortem and says to his assistant: "I know what profession this person was in". The assistant asks him what he means. The coroner says: "This was a nurse. Her ass is all chewed up, her bladder is full, and her stomach is empty."

p.

P_RN, ADN, RN · Jan 30, 2003

Let's go to humor with these.

donmurray · Feb 3, 2003

The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well-dressed middle-aged lady and was being used by her little dog.

The weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?"

The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed

and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people.

Can't you see my Little Fifi is using that seat?"

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest,

but after another" trip down to the end of the train, found

himself again facing the woman with the dog.

Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired."

The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans!

Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"

The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat.

The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.

An English gentleman sitting across the carriage spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bytch out of the window."

Stargazer · Feb 3, 2003

Good one, Don!

Q: How many Freudian psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and the other to hold the member. Hold the ladder! I meant LADDER!!!

donmurray · Feb 3, 2003

BWAAAHAHAHAHAAAA!

emily_mom · Feb 3, 2003

Originally posted by Stargazer
Good one, Don!

Q: How many Freudian psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and the other to hold the member. Hold the ladder! I meant LADDER!!!

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:chuckle :chuckle Good thing they weren't in the anal stage.....

dingofred · Feb 3, 2003

This was on a web site about cloning the other day:

If you took your naked clone up to the roof of a tall building and pushed it off, would it be

A.) murder

B.) suicide or;

C.) an obscene clone fall