Published
A lady approaches her priest and tells him,
> "Father, I have a problem. I
> have two female parrots, but they only know how to
> say one thing." "What do
> they say?" the priest inquired. "They only know how
> to say, "Hi, we're
> hookers. Want to have some fun? "That's terrible!"
> the priest exclaimed, "but
> I have a solution to your problem. Bring your female
> parrots over to my house
> and I will put them with my two male talking parrots
> whom I have taught to
> pray. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop
> saying that terrible phrase
> and your female parrots will learn to pray" "Thank
> you!" the woman responded.
> The next day the woman brings her female parrots to
> the priest's house. His
> two male parrots are holding rosary beads and
> praying in their cage. The lady
> puts her female parrots in with the male parrots and
> the female parrots say,
> "Hi, we're hookers, want to have some fun?" One male
> parrot looks over to the
> other male parrot and says, "Put the beads away,
> George. Our prayers have
> been answered."
:roll
woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at
work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and
hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also
comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that
the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover
are in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove,
let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy -"$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to
take you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again".
>
> A cowboy walks into a bar in Oklahoma, orders three mugs of
> brew and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
> When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
>
>
> The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a mug goes
> Flat after I draw it so it would taste better if you bought just one at a
> time."
>
> The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in
> Australia, the other is in Dublin and I'm in Oklahoma . When we all
> left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the
> days we were together. So I drink one for each of my brothers
> and one for myself."
>
> The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there.
> The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
> He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
>
> One day, he comes in and orders only two mugs! All the regulars take
> notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second
> round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I
> wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
>
> The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he
> laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains......."It's just that
> my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and obviously I had to quit
> drinking. Hasn't affected my brothers though." :chuckle
maggie7
69 Posts
Two little boys standing on the street corner and a little girl walks by.
1st little boy,"Boy, her necks dirty."
2nd little boy,"Her does?"