Men in Nursing/Men in Society

allnurses Guide · Aug 11, 2003

Roxanne: I haven't left nursing (yet) but I too struggle with the same disappointments. And I'm a girl too.

I'm wondering though if it isn't the same everywhere?

steph

CRNI · Aug 11, 2003

Stevielynn,

Very interesting articles. All three written by females. . .

Dave,

I have 2 "girly" daughters, but think you have the right idea on raising your sons.

I agree with the idea that males and females should have equal opportunities, but sameness?? Not possible. JMHO.

hbscott · Aug 11, 2003

"Many people do not believe as you do, Morpheus"

As you have noted the reasons that many leave nursing are gender nuetral so you would think that men in general would not feel so alienated in nursing (I think current literature supports that statement) but society as a whole will often define our roles and responsibilities and it seems that the current culture in America and some other societies don't like men in nursing.

Perhaps it is because we don't look good in skirts?

AMV · Aug 11, 2003

One night I was out with my hubbie and a very good friend of ours , Tim - two tech workers out of work due to all the current lay-offs. They were talking about changing professions due to the bleak outlook for technology. I asked them about nursing - would they ever consider that and why or why not? Our friend, Tim said he might consider another area in healthcare, but probably not nursing. I asked "why". Tim has been our friend for about 7 years and knows what nursing is and isn't about. It is a very challenging profession that isn't for whimps or idiots! He said mainly because of the name "Nurse" and the fact that it is seen as a female profession. My husband agreed. He said it sounded too much like nursing a baby, etc. So I wonder, how many other men out there feel that way? As far as the associations to being gay or a "failed physician" (remember the movie "Meet the Parents"?) I think that is unfortunate. I think our profession would benefit greatly by having more men in it and I wonder how many men out there are not going into a profession they might love because of those stereotypes?

So I wonder, would Nursing having a "new name" change people's perceptions, or would that take away from the heritage of our profession?

hbscott · Aug 11, 2003

It seems that this thread (and others) has touched a nerve.

https://allnurses.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=509809#post509809

-HBS

twarlik · Aug 11, 2003

Why is it that when a man is sensitive and well groomed, society feels the need to place a label to them? Because they're not the stereotypical, macho men, we have to label them as "metrosexual." In other words, they're not "normal." It's just stupid. I personally think we could do with more sensitive men

As for the men in nursing thing: Get over it. Who cares what people think. If someone thinks you became a nurse because you couldn't get into med school, who cares. I was planning on being a musician for many years and then decided to take another path. People thought that it must have been because I wasn't good enough. I was good enough. I just wanted certain things out of my life that being a professional musician couldn't provide. Anyone who makes assumptions about me based on such arbitrary considerations isn't worth my time or effort.

And the gay thing...Lets just stop that nonsense. How people ever got it into their heads that only gay men become nurses is beyond me. It constantly amazes me that people get so offended if they're thought of as being gay. As if that's the worst thing that you could be called. I also can't help but notice that so many of the straight men on this board constantly feel the need to affirm their heterosexuality by referring to themselves as "real men." I'm a "real man" and I happen to be gay. Gosh, what a concept!

hbscott · Aug 11, 2003

"It constantly amazes me that people get so offended if they're thought of as being gay."

Being thought "gay" does not offend me. Being approached by other men (and women) for sex or sexual favors that is not consensual does offend me - greatly.

The truth of the matter is I was approached on numerous occasions for sexual liaisons by other men when I was in nursing school and in nursing practice. On one occasion for a job interview sex was solicited in exchange for a favorable recommendation. This is unacceptable.

I do not condemn the sexual orientation of gay men and women but I do abhor any behavior that denies me my freedom of choice (or yours for that matter) and demeans my personal dignity as I try to live my life and provide for my family.

-HBS

twarlik · Aug 11, 2003

Originally posted by hbscott
Being thought "gay" does not offend me. Being approached by other men (and women) for sex or sexual favors that is not consensual does offend me - greatly.

Being upset by unwanted sexual advances is one thing, but that is not what you stated in your original post. Your original post said one of the reasons you left nursing was because of the "negative sterotypes," those being failed physician or homosexual. To me, that said that you were offended by being thought of as a homosexual (or a failed physician).

allnurses Guide · Aug 11, 2003

Maybe he was offended at the stereotype itself . . offended that people still think of male nurses as gay or failed physicians. Maybe it wasn't "homophobia" or "failed-physicianophobia". He did protest both stereotypes.

steph

hbscott · Aug 11, 2003

Being upset by unwanted sexual advances is one thing, but that is not what you stated in your original post. Your original post said one of the reasons you left nursing was because of the "negative sterotypes," those being failed physician or homosexual. To me, that said that you were offended by being thought of as a homosexual (or a failed physician).

It has been my experience that being thought "gay" has encouraged unwanted sexual advances (this has been my experience) and being thought a "failed physician" has created socially awkward situations difficult at best to manage when trying to raise a family who must deal with such labels thrust at their father and husband.

I can understand how you might interpret my remarks to be disparaging to the gay community but if you read my words more closely perhaps you will see what I am trying to say.

-HBS

AMV · Aug 11, 2003

Sometimes there isn't just one point of view that is right. I'm not a guy, but I could understand a straight guy being upset by advances wrongly made and being stereotyped by something he is not (how would you feel if you were a woman in a male dominated profession, and all your co workers and the people you worked for were convinced you were either a lesbian or some sort of "He woman" and you were continually portrayed in the media, etc as just that - no one wants to be seen as something they are not!). I could also understand someone who is gay hating the fact that people look at the gay stereotypes in that it makes being gay seem like something bad or is made fun of. So what if someone is gay and is a nurse? There are gay men in every profession.

My feeling is, that if there were MORE MEN in nursing and maybe even the name "NURSE" were changed to something more gender neutral, these stereotypes might being to fade. Or maybe it's not the name, just the fact that so many in our profession are women.... who knows?

Whatever we do, nursing needs to have an image that people see as professional. I really feel that the average person has extreme misconceptions as to what nursing is all about. WE know what we do and we know what respect we all deserve - the general public needs to have that perception as well.

live4today, RN · Aug 11, 2003

If women who are doctors or becoming doctors don't mind being called "Doctor" ...why should men mind being called "Nurse"?

I like working with nurses who are males. They don't bytch as much as women, or gossip about everybody behind their back like a lot of female nurses do.