Nurses struggling with mental illness

Nurses Disabilities

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I was just wondering if there are any other nurses who struggle with mental illness. It seems to be one disability that is met with little tolerance and support in the medical field. I do have major co-morbid mental illness, Major depression/PTSD/DID, and have had many problems in my career. I have been in therapy and on meds for a long time and have worked very hard to be functional, and I have suprised myself by what I have been able to achieve. Currently, I am a hospice nurse in a residential setting and it seems that I have found my niche. It doesn't aggravate my illness too much. I am very busy at times and most of my job revolves in much cognitive thinking and decision making about the best ways to respond to a patient's emerging or existing symptoms, and in assessing patients to see where they are in the dying process, plus lots of educating to patients and families. My extensive personal trauma background has made me able to have a different perspective on death and don't see it as the scary thing that is SO SAD, that a lot of people do. Plus, because of the things that I have been through, I am more able to be compassionate and understanding of patients and their fears. I especially do well with patients with existing mental illness or lots of anxiety. I notice that a lot of nurses have little tolerance for a patients anxiety and are not willing to take the extra time to walk them through things and provide the extra reassurance that they need.

Yes, there are some nursing jobs that I don't think I would be able to do because of the fast on the spot life and death action necessary. ER and Trauma/Burn are pretty much out for me. But thats OK. A lot of nurses couldn't handle doing what I do either for their own reasons. We are all suited to certain things.

Having mental illness doesn't automatically make you unsuited for the nursing profession. Even though I have heard many times, "what are you doing here?" "Shouldn't you be doing something else, less stressful?"

I am here and am doing the thing I am suited for. Yes sometimes I have to take time off due to my illness, but its no different than somone who has flare ups of a chronic physical illness like lupus, chronic fatigue, or fibromyalgia.

I would like to know how other nurses have coped with their own illness and their nursing careers.

Severina

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I struggle with Manic Depressive disorder. Sometimes I am very functional and at other times, not so great. Can anyone suggest ways to know when you are safe to work or when you shouldn't? Sometimes I'm really afraid that I might make a major mistake and this fear is really controlling me. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Do you mean when you are becoming manic?

I think we all have red flags that tell us when we are crossing the line, for me it is stopping eating and sleeping, being angry at everyone and everything, compulsively writing... other things. It is good to have at least one person who knows us sick and well and can tell us when we are starting to slide.

Good luck!

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I wish I knw the answer to your question. I have up and down days everyday. I just keep telling myself this too shall pass and focus on daily healing. I'm going to buy the book The Secret, maybe it's in there? Have you read it or heard of it?

hi sharona, how did you get past me? lol

Specializes in OB.

I have alot of problems with the depressive aspect, though being manic certainly has it's own problems. My doc says I have "mixed state". I can either be so wired and anxious to moving and thinking like a sloth, not to mention the extreme irritability. Also not sure if it's the meds, but sometimes I can't do simple math and other basic functions. I have to provide income for my family, but it seems like it is getting harder to manage my symptoms. Feeling a little desperate.

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I have alot of problems with the depressive aspect, though being manic certainly has it's own problems. My doc says I have "mixed state". I can either be so wired and anxious to moving and thinking like a sloth, not to mention the extreme irritability. Also not sure if it's the meds, but sometimes I can't do simple math and other basic functions. I have to provide income for my family, but it seems like it is getting harder to manage my symptoms. Feeling a little desperate.

((((( babymamarn)))))))

Specializes in behavioral health.

babymamarn,

I get horrible mixed states also. It seems like the worst combination of irritability, edginess, and depression =(. I'm just crawling out of a very serious episode..possibly triggered/exacerbated by night shift.

I knew I couldnt work when:

-I was so jumpy that i was startled by every loud sudden noise

-I kept thinking of going home and taking a drug overdose

-my thoughts were racing so much that i felt like everything took me twice as long and my memory felt impaired (i am not normally a really anxious person)

-i was needing more and more sleeping pills to fall asleep

also, I discussed this all with my psych doc and therapist.

bipolar disorder is technically a medical illness and disability. You could look into your work's emergency medical leave (FMLA--i think?). If you got into a car wreck and needed surgery, you would get emergency time off right?? Allow yourself time to get stable. I see no reason why you wouldn't be able to get back to work. I'm currently applying for a day shift position.

I wish you the very best; bipolar d/o sucks

I'm in nursing school, but took this semester off to deal with issues. Before class about a year ago, I was jogging behind my house and I was attacked & raped. I tried not to deal with it at the time because I had so many things going. Eventually four months after the attack I checked myself into a hospital because I wasn't coping very well and I didn't want to leave my house. I was scared all the time that I would be attacked again. However, when I was hospitalized the doctor diagnosed with bipolar and put me on medication. while I was on the medication, I became suicidal so I quit taking the meds. I decided to take the spring semester off and spend time with my family in Arkansas. Since I have been here I have been in therapy and I'm finally coming to terms with everything and I don't feel ashamed of what happened to me. I've reapplied to nursing school and I explained my situation and with god willing I will be able to reenter nursing school back in Louisiana for the fall semester. I do believe sometimes people are misdiagnosed.

So, keep your head up and maybe attend therapy to help deal with your illness.

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I'm in nursing school, but took this semester off to deal with issues. Before class about a year ago, I was jogging behind my house and I was attacked & raped. I tried not to deal with it at the time because I had so many things going. Eventually four months after the attack I checked myself into a hospital because I wasn't coping very well and I didn't want to leave my house. I was scared all the time that I would be attacked again. However, when I was hospitalized the doctor diagnosed with bipolar and put me on medication. while I was on the medication, I became suicidal so I quit taking the meds. I decided to take the spring semester off and spend time with my family in Arkansas. Since I have been here I have been in therapy and I'm finally coming to terms with everything and I don't feel ashamed of what happened to me. I've reapplied to nursing school and I explained my situation and with god willing I will be able to reenter nursing school back in Louisiana for the fall semester. I do believe sometimes people are misdiagnosed.

So, keep your head up and maybe attend therapy to help deal with your illness.

God bless you I am SO GLAD you are ok. I am sorry for what happened to you :(

Specializes in behavioral health.

(((nursing student)))

I'm really sorry that happened to you as well and I'm glad that you've worked so hard to get passed it. It is something that might always hurt a bit. PTSD is often misdiagnosed. I have found that symptoms of PTSD can overlap symptoms of many other illnesses.. bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, even psychotic disorders! OCD..etc.

I wish you the very best

Specializes in IM/Critical Care/Cardiology.
hi sharona, how did you get past me? lol

Surprise!!!! Hope you are doing well.

:redbeathe sharona

Specializes in CNA.

Wow I am soooo gald I found this thread~ I am recently D/X with Generalized anxiety disorder , panic attacks and bi polar disorder, and i cant sleep as well I am awake most of the night and want to sleep during the day to the point it is affecting my life (doc just rx'd ambien cr yesterday but i could not tell a difference last night)...right now I am in the stage where my Doc is trying to find the right fit for me Rx wise...have been through several meds including trazodone and seroquel...but now I am taking remeron, zyprexia, Librax and inderal with ativan prn! I start my NS classes this fall and I was sooo scared feeling like I was the only one going through this, finding this thread feels like a life saver to me! I am also looking at non drug interventions like exercise and journaling...but currently I feel trapped in a rapid cycling series of nightmares....I may be normal and "typical" for 12 14 or 18 hours , which are my manic periods then have an "episode"(named by my hubby) of uncontrollable crying, feelings of low self worth . The depressive episodes are easier to recognize in my case, I have come to realize that this latest series of episodes started after my school let out for the summer then I had surgery to remove my gallbladder and I was expected to be at home , in the house , alone with the kids ALL THE TIME! please dont get me wrong I love my children and I know my time with them is precious but I have a habit of not seeing to my needs (any of them)when I am a stay at home mom...I just give. give , give, give , give and give til I am all drained then I snap! I think the fact I am not sleeping like a normal person does not help either laying in bed awake til 3 or 4 am EVERY night begins to wear on woman after a while then once I fall asleep it takes a miracle to wake me ....I feel like baby with my days and nights mixed up.....awake all night ( regardless of meds)and falling asleep anytime I stop moving during the day~

I am hoping once school starts back I will begin to level off a bit as I was doing so well before school let out this spring and I had that surgery...things really started going down hill after that~

Maybe it is a good thing I am sooooo excited for school to start maybe that is a sign

Any way thank you all brave souls for sharing your stories and support!

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
..please dont get me wrong I love my children and I know my time with them is precious but I have a habit of not seeing to my needs (any of them)when I am a stay at home mom...

Glad you found us, check in often!

I so relate to the above, but somehow my son came out ok despite my illness AND despite my taking care of myself :)

Specializes in Med surg, Critical Care, LTC.

I can relate to the sleeping difficulties your having. I, too, regardless of medications, can be up most of the night, and your right, it does wear on you after a while.

Your also insightful by recognizing that you "give and give and give..." and forget to take care of yourself. Now that you've recognized that, do take steps to correct it - it's easier to deal with a full plate when you've been getting proper rest, food and exercise. Taking some time just for you, may also be a great idea.

Good luck, keep us posted. God Bless

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