Nurses struggling with mental illness

Nurses Disabilities

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I was just wondering if there are any other nurses who struggle with mental illness. It seems to be one disability that is met with little tolerance and support in the medical field. I do have major co-morbid mental illness, Major depression/PTSD/DID, and have had many problems in my career. I have been in therapy and on meds for a long time and have worked very hard to be functional, and I have suprised myself by what I have been able to achieve. Currently, I am a hospice nurse in a residential setting and it seems that I have found my niche. It doesn't aggravate my illness too much. I am very busy at times and most of my job revolves in much cognitive thinking and decision making about the best ways to respond to a patient's emerging or existing symptoms, and in assessing patients to see where they are in the dying process, plus lots of educating to patients and families. My extensive personal trauma background has made me able to have a different perspective on death and don't see it as the scary thing that is SO SAD, that a lot of people do. Plus, because of the things that I have been through, I am more able to be compassionate and understanding of patients and their fears. I especially do well with patients with existing mental illness or lots of anxiety. I notice that a lot of nurses have little tolerance for a patients anxiety and are not willing to take the extra time to walk them through things and provide the extra reassurance that they need.

Yes, there are some nursing jobs that I don't think I would be able to do because of the fast on the spot life and death action necessary. ER and Trauma/Burn are pretty much out for me. But thats OK. A lot of nurses couldn't handle doing what I do either for their own reasons. We are all suited to certain things.

Having mental illness doesn't automatically make you unsuited for the nursing profession. Even though I have heard many times, "what are you doing here?" "Shouldn't you be doing something else, less stressful?"

I am here and am doing the thing I am suited for. Yes sometimes I have to take time off due to my illness, but its no different than somone who has flare ups of a chronic physical illness like lupus, chronic fatigue, or fibromyalgia.

I would like to know how other nurses have coped with their own illness and their nursing careers.

Severina

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
Zoe,

Thank you so much for your blessings. I think we all need them on some days. Life can be demanding and stressful!

Hugs,

Holly

Holly - ha ha, laughing at myself, I just typo'd "Holyy"

Oh well, anyway - You are so welcome and I agree - we ALL need blessings!

xo

Delayed sleep syndrome is a fancy name for lazy . . . no, seriously, it is a real diagnosis where your internal clock wants to shift forward. Left to myself, I stay up later and later and sleep later and later, and can't sleep in sync with the rest of the world. It was disastrous when I was working evenings. For me it's just a matter of staying on top of it, getting to bed at a decent hour and having things I HAVE to go to, like work and class, that keep me getting up before noon. Occasional Ativan for sleep is good too. It's not that I'm a night owl, per se, I don't LIKE being up at night. My brain just wants me to.

I seriously think my husband could have this. He has a very hard time going to bed before 1 am or sometimes later and he wants to sleep until around 11 or 12. He is in college right now and it is hell on earth trying to get him up. I have to wake up early just to make sure he gets up to go. Also, trying to wake him up on the weekends is hell. How can I find out if this could be what he has? Will a doctor diagnose it? Everyone that he has been too thinks he is crazy. If he does go to bed when I do (about 10) he can't get to sleep for about 2 hours.:o

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I seriously think my husband could have this. He has a very hard time going to bed before 1 am or sometimes later and he wants to sleep until around 11 or 12. He is in college right now and it is hell on earth trying to get him up. I have to wake up early just to make sure he gets up to go. Also, trying to wake him up on the weekends is hell. How can I find out if this could be what he has? Will a doctor diagnose it? Everyone that he has been too thinks he is crazy. If he does go to bed when I do (about 10) he can't get to sleep for about 2 hours.:o

I don't know if it is a "diagnosis" but I do know that I do that to a great degree - and that unless I discipline myself, I will stay up later and later (as a previous poster said).

My ex was horrible like that when he NEEDED to be somewhere, ie work or an appt, pretty soon I just let him suffer the consequences of not getting up because it was so stressful on ME to worry about where HE had to go! So, I don't know what I'm saying... ;) Just that it's a struggle for a lot of people.

Specializes in LTC.

Zoeboboey :icon_hug:

Thank you! It helps to know I'm not alone in this.

Peace,

Kathi

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
Zoeboboey :icon_hug:

Thank you! It helps to know I'm not alone in this.

Peace,

Kathi

You're welcome, but I just realized I didn't address your question about long term care. There are LTC places where the staff does seem to care and do a fairly good job, but for the most part staffing is a JOKE (sorry but it can be ridiculous sometimes what people are expected to do - especially the CNA's) - so my answer to overload has always been to work the night shift. That way I can pace myself more, there are fewer interruptions, fewer emergencies, (and no, people do NOT sleep all night! And with just one nurse there is plenty to do ... contrary to day shift's opinion LOL) - anyway - that way I can do a good job, really focus on the patients that need me, and provide some old fashioned care as well (ie I do help the cna's with bells and bed changes when I can) -

So anyway - I forgot to answer - LTC can be harder for some and easier for others. I LOVE IT because I love my elderly patients :D

Take care!

Specializes in LTC.

I love older people, too. But the stress of long term care was really enormous.....I wish I could make up my mind if I want to go back or not.

And many thanks again. It's awful to have a mental illness but for some reason..every other job I've applied for since leaving nursing seems to involve the interviewer noticing "blank spots" on my resume (times I couldn't work due to depression) and, wow, do they ever focus upon it. But in nursing, it seemed (as long as it was LTC) they were ready to hire me as soon as I walked in the door.

Peace,

Kathi9

Hi everyone, I am soooo glad to find this thread. I have been struggling with mental illnesses my whole life. I didn't know that I even had this problem until after I went off to college the first time. I received my BBA in 02', and now I am finishing up my pre-reqs to get my BSN. I originally went to school the first time to get my nursing degree, but didn't do well in school and had many "issues" that I couldn't cope with on my own. I didn't know what to do, or who to turn to so I tried to hide it. That didn't work. I finished school, and then hit rock bottom. I literally sat in a house by myself for one whole year after school. I had a friend of mine suggest that I go see a therapist. Since then I've been to several different therapists, on many "trial" medications, but I'm still not getting the help I need. I have been mis-diagnosed many times, so I really don't completely know what I have. I do know that I have anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder, post traumatic stress syndrome, and major depression.:( Some have told me that I am bipolar, but I've heard so much, that I don't know what to think. I've read up on all of it on the internet, bought books, done just about everything. I was abused my entire life, had no one to turn to and so on...... Now whatever my "illness" is, it's causing problems with my relationship with the one I truely love and will someday soon marry. But I guess I am just trying to figure out what you all do to cope with your illnesses. I am on medication right now, but I just moved to a new city, and I don't have a doctor here yet. Now I have to go through it all over again trying to be diagnosed, get on the right medications, because I'm not right now, and start school August 21st. I'm scared that if they start changing my meds to see which ones work the best, that I might not do good in school. I haven't been in a classroom setting in 4 years, and I do have very bad social anxiety. I know that it's not true, but I feel like there is a big label stuck on my forehead saying I have a mental disorder, and I always feel that I'm being judged or labeled for it. I'm glad to see that there are other people out there strong enough to have control over these mental illnesses and it gives me hope. For a long time I just wanted to GIVE UP completely, but now I know that I am not the only one. Thank all of you for your courage to share your stories, and any suggestions or insight for me would be greatly appreciated. How did you finally find the right meds, doc, therapy, etc? Any advice will help me. Sorry for such a long posting, just needed to get some things off my chest.:banghead:

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I love older people, too. But the stress of long term care was really enormous.....I wish I could make up my mind if I want to go back or not.

And many thanks again. It's awful to have a mental illness but for some reason..every other job I've applied for since leaving nursing seems to involve the interviewer noticing "blank spots" on my resume (times I couldn't work due to depression) and, wow, do they ever focus upon it. But in nursing, it seemed (as long as it was LTC) they were ready to hire me as soon as I walked in the door.

Peace,

Kathi9

Yeah, and I feel awful about lying. So I came up with one thing that was true, "I had been staying home with my son who was having difficulty with school." Well part of that was because I couldn't deal with him AND work, so it wasn't really a lie lol

You could also say you were traveling (if you were manic somewhere in your mind ha ha!)

It IS tough. Now I am applying for non- nursing jobs and I have only had one interview since like March. Sigh.

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I know that it's not true, but I feel like there is a big label stuck on my forehead saying I have a mental disorder, and I always feel that I'm being judged or labeled for it. I'm glad to see that there are other people out there strong enough to have control over these mental illnesses and it gives me hope. For a long time I just wanted to GIVE UP completely, but now I know that I am not the only one. Thank all of you for your courage to share your stories, and any suggestions or insight for me would be greatly appreciated. How did you finally find the right meds, doc, therapy, etc? Any advice will help me. Sorry for such a long posting, just needed to get some things off my chest.:banghead:

I am encouraged by my counselor that the antedote for the social anxiety is to go somewhere (the mall, grocery store, even for a walk) every day, and try to say hello to someone, like in a cash register line, etc. Exposure ya know? You can tell yourself you are just "familiarizing" yourself with your new area. That way once classes start you won't be starting cold.

As to the right combo, GOOD LUCK and let me know what you figure out, LOL! Takes us many years to find out the right match, I have been in treatment since 85 and just this past January have had a REASONABLE medication regimen.

I bet there are many in school in the same boat as us, but I'd suggest you not tell a lot of people because then you will feel very vulnerable if you get sick down the road. if you can get to a DBSA (depression/bipolar support alliance) support group, it will help you have a safe place to share your concerns!

Of course anything I share on ANY of these threads are my opinion only!

I am encouraged by my counselor that the antedote for the social anxiety is to go somewhere (the mall, grocery store, even for a walk) every day, and try to say hello to someone, like in a cash register line, etc. Exposure ya know? You can tell yourself you are just "familiarizing" yourself with your new area. That way once classes start you won't be starting cold.

As to the right combo, GOOD LUCK and let me know what you figure out, LOL! Takes us many years to find out the right match, I have been in treatment since 85 and just this past January have had a REASONABLE medication regimen.

I bet there are many in school in the same boat as us, but I'd suggest you not tell a lot of people because then you will feel very vulnerable if you get sick down the road. if you can get to a DBSA (depression/bipolar support alliance) support group, it will help you have a safe place to share your concerns!

Of course anything I share on ANY of these threads are my opinion only!

Thanks, I am looking for some sort of support group right now, along with a therapist. I want to start seeing someone before I start school in case they do put me on some sort of meds that don't "agree" with me. I've had that happen and it wasn't pretty......you can only imagine. I don't disclose my illness to anyone that I go to school with, or even associate every once in a while. I have learned the hard way on that. It will always come back to haunt you in the long run, or someone will easily blaime you for everything because you are an "easy target". That's just been my experience so I keep it to myself as much as possible. I want people to learn who "I" am before they see my illness come out, if it does!!! Thanks for the advice. I can always find comfort in knowing that I am not the only one.

Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.

You're definitely not alone. I've been a med-surg nurse for 2 years and I struggle with depression, PTSD and panic attacks. Earlier this year I took 3 weeks off and got some major help. When I got back I expected to be pummelled with questions about my medical leave, but no one really asked questions, just said they were glad I was back. Phew!

I keep my issues to myself and try not to talk about them. At one point I did talk to the other nurses on my floor about it, last year, but then I got in an argument with another nurse and she called me "crazy" among other things, so now I keep my yap shut about it. Some people aren't trustworthy, obviously.

I found my depression has gotten better since I changed my schedule. I was working 5- 8 hour shifts a week but a month ago switched to 3- 12 hour shifts which means I have more nights off and more time with my kids. But that's just me, everybody's different.

Mental illness shouldn't have such a stigma. We don't fault our fellow nurses if they are dealing with hypertension, diabetes or other chronic diseases. So why should it be such a stigma to have a chronic condition like depression or anxiety?

Specializes in NICU.

My favorite thing that happened: I have a little, um, problem with men getting angry. While I was never even spanked by my parents, I did have an abusive boyfriend when I was sixteen. So when men (and occasionally aggressive women) get mad at me, I'm SURE they're going to hit me and I panic. This has even happened with a female boss who was just mad about something really trivial. So once during my first med-surg rotation, I had a slightly demented man get really angry during a bed bath and take a swat at me. My preceptor found me hyperventilating in the storage room, and seeeeeemed really sympathetic at the time. I told her I had a little problem with the violence (hence my decision to go into the NICU), without giving her all the details. I showed up at the next clinical and was assigned to the same patient! She gave him to me for the rest of the rotation. Said I needed to toughen up. In a later rotation I had her again, and caught her regaling another student about the incident. She ACTUALLY said "Oh, you had such a problem with his personality!!!" Um, no. I have a problem with being hit.

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