Nurses struggling with mental illness

[Severina]

I was just wondering if there are any other nurses who struggle with mental illness. It seems to be one disability that is met with little tolerance and support in the medical field. I do have major co-morbid mental illness, Major depression/PTSD/DID, and have had many problems in my career. I have been in therapy and on meds for a long time and have worked very hard to be functional, and I have suprised myself by what I have been able to achieve. Currently, I am a hospice nurse in a residential setting and it seems that I have found my niche. It doesn't aggravate my illness too much. I am very busy at times and most of my job revolves in much cognitive thinking and decision making about the best ways to respond to a patient's emerging or existing symptoms, and in assessing patients to see where they are in the dying process, plus lots of educating to patients and families. My extensive personal trauma background has made me able to have a different perspective on death and don't see it as the scary thing that is SO SAD, that a lot of people do. Plus, because of the things that I have been through, I am more able to be compassionate and understanding of patients and their fears. I especially do well with patients with existing mental illness or lots of anxiety. I notice that a lot of nurses have little tolerance for a patients anxiety and are not willing to take the extra time to walk them through things and provide the extra reassurance that they need.

Yes, there are some nursing jobs that I don't think I would be able to do because of the fast on the spot life and death action necessary. ER and Trauma/Burn are pretty much out for me. But thats OK. A lot of nurses couldn't handle doing what I do either for their own reasons. We are all suited to certain things.

Having mental illness doesn't automatically make you unsuited for the nursing profession. Even though I have heard many times, "what are you doing here?" "Shouldn't you be doing something else, less stressful?"

I am here and am doing the thing I am suited for. Yes sometimes I have to take time off due to my illness, but its no different than somone who has flare ups of a chronic physical illness like lupus, chronic fatigue, or fibromyalgia.

I would like to know how other nurses have coped with their own illness and their nursing careers.

Severina

[sarabasedis]

is your mom aware of your debilitating depression? this sounds like an emergent situation, especially with the suicidal inclinations. she needs to know this is literally a matter of life and death. God be with you.

leslie

Hi Sara,

You MUST tell your mother IMMEDIATELY. If you are over the age of 16, but still under her health care coverage, all she needs to know is that you need to speak with someone. If you stll don't want to tell her at this point, then At college campuses, they often have counseling centers. The Jewish Federation and Catholic Charities offer counseling based upon a sliding scale of ability to pay. Your local hospital might also have an outpatient psych clinic. You can apply for Charity Care.

With having dealt with depression most of my life, believe me, the only one you are hiding it from is yourself. Your mom probably knows on some level that you are depressed. Remember, she loves you and wants whats best for you. No matter how painful it may be for her to hear that you are having it rough, in the end she probably will be your best support.

[Liddle Noodnik]

Hi,

I've been diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personality disorder (bpd). I am now on Depakote. I was on Celexa, but it stopped helping and I stopped taking it. Both my therapist and my doc want me to quit nursing. I am reluctant to do so, as it is my only source of income. I tried working agency, but couldn't get enough dayshift work. My next theory is either hospice or private duty. Maybe these would be less stressful.

I find that observing my relgious faith helps me, however, my faith demands abstention from work on Saturdays, which doesn't go over well in the medical field, as you have to make yourself available every other week end. Any suggestions?

Hi Sarabasedis!

All you can do is the best you can do. If you don't think it's time to give up then DON'T - and yes, try the things which might be less stressful, and are in keeping with your spiritual practice.

I kept having to leave nursing, then would be able to return. I am not sorry I kept trying. It kept me strong and healthy. But now I've been out for over 2 years and am on disability. I got very discouraged.

BUT - recently, I did find out that vocational rehab (thru social security) will help me get back to school (6-10 classes left depending on what credits they will give me based on my profile). I could then be an Activities Director, if I can swing that.

You are never useless, you must remember that always, even if you DO end up not working! I find that by not working I can spend time with people who maybe need an ear; I can write things (when I'm well) that encourage people, like essays ... I can work on my recovery without pressure, and thus get to this point where I CAN work part time. Not in nursing which would be the death of me right now! But, a job, anyways! And as I said, I finally do have hope regarding school.. Even if I don't end up with "a new career" I am still learning, and more important, NOT DYING!

Even writing on this site and, as I did for a while, welcoming newcomers, for example, keeps ya going. You know how well older people do when they stay involved in life, and it's the same with us "emotionally old" folks LOL!

Take care and keep us posted on how you are doing, ok?

xoxoxo

[Liddle Noodnik]

I'm working on the pre-requisites to nursing school. I've had major depression since I was a sophomore in high school (almost three years now). I'm able to shake the bad feelings, the sadness and the flat affect, for weeks at a time, but the lack of energy or motivation stays with me all the time. If I have nothing to occupy my mind, like school or social interaction, I become extremely paranoid. I spent one summer in a virtually nocturnal state (sleeping 8 am to 6 pm) because I thought the world was going to end within a day or two, every day. I've been through two rather pathetic suicide attempts, months of suicidal thoughts, and about six months of SI. I had to quit high school a year early (through GED) because I couldn't concentrate on my coursework or homework anymore. Keeping up with schoolwork is still difficult.. it's hard to get up and out of the house some mornings, and concentrating in class when I can't feel anything but vaguely upset and have to stop and think about the proper procedure for using a pen is a joke.

I haven't been able to seek professional help for this because that would entail notifying my mother, who goes on about the expense or inconvenience. My faith (Catholic) helps some, but a lot of the time, I'm not motivated to get out the door to Mass, but then I get very upset with myself for not going. It's a vicious cycle.

Sounds like the story of my life - AND - my son's - he dropped out of HS in 9th grade and virtually did nothing for two years. Finally did get his GED and now is living with his dad who is a bit stronger emotionally to help him with school (he does want to do college now). At least you ADMIT you have a problem - he won't. He did have treatment when he was like 12-14 but then he totally rebelled. I hope that he truly has worked thru the worst of it!

Anyway you are doing the right stuff. If you are in school you should be able to get help right at school and maybe not involve your mom, I don't know. There are also free self-help programs so you can at least share with somebody. Treat yourself like one of your own patients and follow your own advice - wellll, us nurses are the worst patients anyway...

Take care and God bless you - and keep praying and asking for prayer!

[SaraO'Hara]

I'm okay, really. The suicidal stuff stopped when I dropped out of high school and got a rest for the summer. Most of what I have now are negative symptoms like lassitude and lack of motivation.

I told my mother about it once; she fussed about it and wouldn't do much. If I feel bad, I talk about it with a friend. It's just very bothersome because getting things DONE or on their way to being done is so difficult when I can't concentrate.

[Liddle Noodnik]

I'm okay, really. The suicidal stuff stopped when I dropped out of high school and got a rest for the summer. Most of what I have now are negative symptoms like lassitude and lack of motivation.

I told my mother about it once; she fussed about it and wouldn't do much. If I feel bad, I talk about it with a friend. It's just very bothersome because getting things DONE or on their way to being done is so difficult when I can't concentrate.

That's why it's great to have a good professional too - one who really will hear what you aren't saying - for example, the SHAME when you can't get things done! which makes the lacissitude and lack of motivation WORSE!

I've been in therapy with this for 20 years and it's only in the last year that Dad has "gotten it" (I don't think mom ever did). So I wouldn't worry about convincing Mom. Just make sure you have what YOU need, and technically you're an adult now (if any of us ever is!). So just get what you need, usually there is free counseling at the school. Also if you have a good priest or pastoral counseling, that's another avenue.

Without my FAITH tho - I just couldn't do this, ya know?

[lberghood]

Healthcare Has Become Health Business

[Liddle Noodnik]

Healthcare Has Become Health Business

Hi lberghood,

Was that statement in relation to a particular post on this thread or a general commentary? I do totally agree but was curious thanks!

[lberghood]

hi

that statement was actually a reply to a post but i am new here and didn't realize that it would come up like that on its own. I also agree with statement but alone it sounded very cynical didn't it?

I found this thread and was instantly drawn to it and stayed up all night reading.

I, too, am a nurse who has suffered from MI probably my whole life and I do think that it probably has something to do with why i went into nursing and why i am good at it.

Unfortnunately if you expose too much of yourself to the wrong people you can be left vulnerable and lack credibility with some of those in the health"care" profession.

I have been fortunate in my experiences to allow my personal history to be of help to some colleagues and patients alike.

Despite how far we have come in this world with technology and medications and science of the brain we are still very far behind when it comes to basic human compasssion and treating people with dignity in a nonjudgemental way in the mental health field. I think it is probably ignorance and fear. Also a lot of it has to do with the "business" side of health "care"

I work as a psych nurse in a for profit acute psychiatric hospital and sadly despite my knowledge and experience and that of my colleagues and some physicians i work with, the insurance company decides a lot of what treatment the clients get.

It is frustrating and the same way in medical hospitals also. I do not know the answers but i do feel that my own personal experiences have helped me to be a more compassionate, empathatic nurse and a lot less judgemental than many of my peers.

Another thing that i have come to realize is that my co-workers aren't neccesarily my friends just because we work together and i can't have the same expectations of them as i would have of a friend. Some of them have grown into friends and for that i am grateful This realization has become a survival tool for me and helped me to flourish in my career.

I want to truly thank all of you who have posted here for your courage and your ability to be "real" people. This thread is truly a lifesaver. God bless you all, i could relate to every single person here

Lisa

[Liddle Noodnik]

I want to truly thank all of you who have posted here for your courage and your ability to be "real" people. This thread is truly a lifesaver. God bless you all, i could relate to every single person here

Lisa

Hi, I'm glad you posted further. Yeah this site can be a bit tough to navigate at first, LOL!

Anyway, I worked in Chemical Dependency for about a year and a half (got a lot of dual diagnosis patients of course!). That was one of my favorite jobs and due in large part to the fact that my personal experience could help them. Your patients are indeed fortunate! And as you have found, not all your fellow staff can empathize with your OWN experience, sigh...

This is a great place (Allnurses), it can afford anonymity and the ability to network with a variety of people. I've also been able to hook up with a few who have remained friends. Of course, caution on the internet is always good - to get to know someone before giving out any private info!

Keep reading, and, more important, posting to us! xo

[BethyC123]

Thank you all for this thread. It is very helpful to read. I am currently a CNA with hopes of becoming an RN. I also suffer from depression/social anxiety/insomnia and have had lots of days where I wonder about my career path. It is good to know that I am not alone.

[Liddle Noodnik]

Thank you all for this thread. It is very helpful to read. I am currently a CNA with hopes of becoming an RN. I also suffer from depression/social anxiety/insomnia and have had lots of days where I wonder about my career path. It is good to know that I am not alone.

{{{{{{{{{BethyC123}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}]

You know what? I think it is as theraputic to me to be heard, as it is to hear others. So I thank you for being a witness to my "story".

I am interviewing for a part time job tomorrow at 1 - wish me well! (not nursing)

Please do come by again!

[sasha2006]

Congratulations Severina.

Also well done Apais RN for coping.

I don't think that I have a personal mental challenge, but I have worked with a lot of people with mental illnesses as a psychiatric trained nurse and have grown to understand a lot about different ways of coping with mental problems. Unfortunately too many tend to 'give up' and by virtue of their illness they are unable to reverse the situation without lots of support. Some even then with hospitalization and lots of support (includuing medication) still are unable to function well. Good luck to all you nurses who have found a position where you can cope. You can give a lot of hope to others by your example.

God bless.

Mister Chris

Perhaps with your experience, you could provide some suggestions for my situation. I am a student nurse with a generalized anxiety disorder and find it difficult on occasions to concentrate and focus during my clinical rotation. I need advice on how to help keep myself organized and keep it together. I do know that it helps alot when i feel prepared but what can you do when there are things that you can't prepare for? Also, in what ways can i prepare for my shift? (I am currently doing my rotation on a Med/Surg floor with a heavy patient load and i am finding it very challenging to prioritize care and to keep up to speed).

Any advice would be greatly appreciated,

sasha2006