Nurses struggling with mental illness

Nurses Disabilities

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I was just wondering if there are any other nurses who struggle with mental illness. It seems to be one disability that is met with little tolerance and support in the medical field. I do have major co-morbid mental illness, Major depression/PTSD/DID, and have had many problems in my career. I have been in therapy and on meds for a long time and have worked very hard to be functional, and I have suprised myself by what I have been able to achieve. Currently, I am a hospice nurse in a residential setting and it seems that I have found my niche. It doesn't aggravate my illness too much. I am very busy at times and most of my job revolves in much cognitive thinking and decision making about the best ways to respond to a patient's emerging or existing symptoms, and in assessing patients to see where they are in the dying process, plus lots of educating to patients and families. My extensive personal trauma background has made me able to have a different perspective on death and don't see it as the scary thing that is SO SAD, that a lot of people do. Plus, because of the things that I have been through, I am more able to be compassionate and understanding of patients and their fears. I especially do well with patients with existing mental illness or lots of anxiety. I notice that a lot of nurses have little tolerance for a patients anxiety and are not willing to take the extra time to walk them through things and provide the extra reassurance that they need.

Yes, there are some nursing jobs that I don't think I would be able to do because of the fast on the spot life and death action necessary. ER and Trauma/Burn are pretty much out for me. But thats OK. A lot of nurses couldn't handle doing what I do either for their own reasons. We are all suited to certain things.

Having mental illness doesn't automatically make you unsuited for the nursing profession. Even though I have heard many times, "what are you doing here?" "Shouldn't you be doing something else, less stressful?"

I am here and am doing the thing I am suited for. Yes sometimes I have to take time off due to my illness, but its no different than somone who has flare ups of a chronic physical illness like lupus, chronic fatigue, or fibromyalgia.

I would like to know how other nurses have coped with their own illness and their nursing careers.

Severina

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
Hi there, well this is my first post ever...all the way from new zealand.(came home 3 years ago now)

After working 10 years in neuro/gen surg I had a 'burn-out' the result of several things...finally got a diagnosis of dyslexia, made a drug error at work...

CONGRATULATIONS on all your hard work getting thru this and not giving up! Good story and very good encouragement for us! :)

Specializes in LTC, HOSPICE, HOME, PAIN MANAGEMENT, ETC.

I've been sitting here trying to put something down on paper and it's been so difficult! My thoughts are running around crazy and nothing much comes out making any sense!

I'm just posting to maybe share some of my pain in the hopes of lessening it and maybe getting some ideas of what to do from my peers.

I'm so heartsick and becoming so paralyzed from depression that it's scaring me. I've been through the worst period of time that I've ever had. I've been physically ill, suffering from a few chronic conditions that needed attention to be appropriately diagnosed and treated...still doing that. I've been unable to work, then when I could work, I was turned down (after being hired) for a position that I could actually work at. (problems wih transportation...my son ruined my car) I've been completely betrayed and let down by my son.

I was just switched from Lexapro to Celexa for insurance purposes. They'll cover one and not the other.

Anyway, the end result of all this is that I'm now homeless. I'm so appalled that I ended up in this position. I feel so stupid andd oh I don't know...I'm so mixed up and frightened! I almost want to post this anonymously, because I'm so ashamed. This all resulted despite my best efforts to prevent it!

I'm sheltered and safe for the next week, but after that....:confused: :confused: :confused:

I need prayers and ideas to keep from lettting this depression overwhelm me! Reaching out for help is the one thing I know to do. I don't have a lot of friends...I've pretty much kept to myself and no family.

So that's my story and I'm sticking to it! :sniff:

Thanks for any ideas!

From Another 52 Year Old ,i Cant Be Much Help To You As I Live In Ireland But Im Thinking Of You Your Comment About Your Son Struck A Familar Cord.got To Go As The Gravey Is Burning

God Bless

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I've been sitting here trying to put something down on paper and it's been so difficult! My thoughts are running around crazy and nothing much comes out making any sense!

Of course you make sense, bet a lot of us have been in the same boat, if not literally then pretty close!

And the nature of the illness is to make us feel shame and embarassment, because when "normal" people do what we do they are shunned sometimes. Unfortunately we ourselves don't know for a fact what others are thinking about us. So we fill in the blanks and we are not too kind to ourselves.

Cognitive therapy was introduced to me really recently and it opened my eyes as to the beliefs I have about myself and the world that are absolutely OUTRAGEOUSLY untrue. Some healing of relationships is coming about thru this and I am doing better as far as the mood swings/reactions to things.

In the hospital (I was in and out twice in January) they said that our recovery is only 30% medicine and 70% behavioral/cognitive (thinking)

The book is at:

http://www.spiritsite.com/writing/davbur/part1.shtml

MEAN while, see if you can locate a transitional housing program, ask the welfare department in your state if there is one for people with mental illness. I bet this is a temporary thing. I lived in one for 18 mo and it helped so much.

PLEASE stay in touch with us! I am praying for you for your safety and your needs! xo

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
From Another 52 Year Old ,i Cant Be Much Help To You As I Live In Ireland But Im Thinking Of You Your Comment About Your Son Struck A Familar Cord.got To Go As The Gravey Is Burning

God Bless

Yes I have an 18 year old and if he had his license he would ruin my car I am SURE! He has behavioral issues. Fortunately, and I don't know why, but he is not too motivated to get his license (PHEW!)

Hello

Thank you very much for bringing up an issue vital

to our profession - that many of us have or struggle

w/a mental illness. I have previously been tx'd for

depression. Most of my friends are RNs, & every one

of them has had a hx of depression and/or anxiety.

Other friends/colleagues have been in recovery

for ETOH.

Again, thank you for you courage.

Specializes in LTC, HOSPICE, HOME, PAIN MANAGEMENT, ETC.

Thank you so much for your support & words of comfort. I am of Irish descent, perforated, my parents came over from Ireland. Maybe I should go over there!;) I took my son to Ireland when he was 5...GREAT TRIP!!!

I just found out that this motel charges .50 for every outgoing call. So I may not be able to go online much longer. That's devastating for me. This forum and one other are my support systems. I don't get out much and don't have the energy to do so due to another illness. So this was the only way I could get support. I sure hope I find a way to stay online! This has saved my life!

Please keep the thoughts and prayers coming. I'm grateful for every response, it helps me not feel so ALONE!!!!

Love & Faith, rnmom

It seems that nurses with mental illness is not the excepton, rather the opposite...I am in Recovery 12 step programme and in my place of work there are 2 who came in to recovery and are now back out there, one who I smelt alcohol on the first day in the job and who is frequently displaying the tremour of alcohol with drawl.....For all this...even to myself it is almost easier to be out about this part of my life than it is my mental health...I live in NZ and certainly we are way behing the states with regard to recognition programmes....For me...the thinkg that has had the most significence for me for my chronic anxiety and paranoia and depression has been the programme of alcoholics......To perforated (ouch).... what has been most effective has been the simplest yet also the hardest...I have established a routine to my day...as nurses we are so good at telling others...but for ourselves??? anyway...I meditate in the morning....I look into my bedrome mirror and do some exercises I have learned from Louise Hays 'courage to heal programme" daily affirmations...and I read from my womens bood of daily affirmations....it seems strange but this effectively is a home based 'do it your self' CBT!!!

All through the day I remind myself i have to act better than i feel, that this (****)is just for today....which is effective in that it stops me catastrophying about tomorrow and about things than havent and might not even happen.

I hope this is some use....I have realised that the 12 step fellowship programme provides a framework a type a support for me when I felt utterly at rock bottom.....a place I go to (complete with suicidality) now, in recovers some years away form the use of substances to anaesthese my emotional pain.

good luck out there....affirming my worth on a daily basis is not easy for a woman conditioned to focus rather on the negatives...I am not suggesting that this picture fits you or your situation, only hope you may find something useful in what i have said...

Good luck remember you are not alone

Arohanui debs

Specializes in LTC, HOSPICE, HOME, PAIN MANAGEMENT, ETC.
I have been taking 2mg. at bedtime to sleep. It seemed to help at first, but now it doesn't appear to be working anymore. Like last night I was up ALL night. What are you taking instead? Does it work?

I suffer from PTSD, and since the trauma I have been unable to sleep. Thanks Krisssy

I hate to sound dumb, but what does "EMDR" stand for. I just don't recognize it! Krissy, how are you doing? Haven't heard from you in a while. I take Trazadone 300 mg hs and have for about 6-7 years. It's very good, although I have other issues related to sleep. Trazadone is the only thing that helps me fall asleep at bedtime. Ironically, I'm able to fall asleep at any other time,( ie while driving, talking etc.), just not a bedtime! :lol2: ;) :uhoh3:

Deb, thank you for sharing so honestly! I also attend 12 step meetings and it amazes me to hear how similar our lives are. I also like Louise Hays and read a daily affirmation book or 3 daily! And we're in different parts of the world!! SO COOL!!!!

I love David Burns books...Feeling Good...I can remember reading it years ago. I'd love to get ahold of that workbook now. I went thru treatment for depression once and the most important thing I learned was how important it was for me to work on my recovery! The meds do indeed play a small but extremely important role in recovery!

Today, I'm not as despondent as I was yesterday...I am however, still in horrible physical pain! I have chronic pain problems and this whole packing & moving ordeal really hurt me bad. Hopefully that will improve with rest!

Please keep your prayers, thoughts and responses coming. They mean so much to me and help me to hang on each day! The worst part about anything is the feeling of isolation and aloneness. That'll kill me before anything else!

rnmom

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
Hello

Thank you very much for bringing up an issue vital

to our profession - that many of us have or struggle

w/a mental illness. I have previously been tx'd for

depression. Most of my friends are RNs, & every one

of them has had a hx of depression and/or anxiety.

Other friends/colleagues have been in recovery

for ETOH.

Again, thank you for you courage.

Thank you Delmar, you never know when all this knowledge and support will be needed, and for whom! God bless you!

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
Thank you so much for your support & words of comfort. I am of Irish descent, perforated, my parents came over from Ireland. Maybe I should go over there!;) I took my son to Ireland when he was 5...GREAT TRIP!!!

I just found out that this motel charges .50 for every outgoing call. So I may not be able to go online much longer. That's devastating for me. This forum and one other are my support systems. I don't get out much and don't have the energy to do so due to another illness. So this was the only way I could get support. I sure hope I find a way to stay online! This has saved my life!

Please keep the thoughts and prayers coming. I'm grateful for every response, it helps me not feel so ALONE!!!!

Love & Faith, rnmom

Are you able to receive calls or do they charge for that too? I could call you in the next few days. If you want my #, or vice versa; let me know by private message!!

God's grace to you!

xo

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
It seems that nurses with mental illness is not the excepton, rather the opposite..

Arohanui debs

Debs. Wow GREAT POST! I am falling asleep right this minute (literally!) so I will have to post to you more tomorrow!

Everyone have a nice day tomorrow unless you have made other plans, HA HA!

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