Help my wife got caught diverting - page 3

I NEED advice. My wife an RN of 10 years was confronted and admitted to drug diverting of fentanyl . It has been going on a few months due to chronic pain. No excuse but shes been seeking help from... Read More

  1. by   hppygr8ful
    Quote from got_nurseing73
    wow . If I may ask were you off work long? Was it hard getting a job if and when you have restrictions?
    I was off work for a total of 6 months - Then I went right to work in an inpatient psych facility which worked with my restrictions and was a very supportive atmosphere for me. The advantage to alternative to discipline is she may avoid being placed on the OIG exclusion list. OIG listing makes it almost impossible to get a job. Also she should check the website often as it will list any restrictions to practice and most prospective employers look there as well.

  2. by   dirtyhippiegirl
    Quote from hppygr8ful
    The answers to your questions are state specific but if this will take months even up to a year to investigate and your wife is working now - she could continue to work as much as possible and sock away as much money as possible until the BON catches up with her. The other option which she should discuss with her attorney is simply turning herself into an alternative to discipline program and start getting it over with. They may or may not require in-patient but they will require daily AA/NA meetings for at least 90 days and/or as long as they keep her practice suspended. There will be random UDS and employment monitoring as well. Best of luck to you both.

    MO doesn't have an alternative to discipline program.

    OP - I am in Kansas but I know a few people who got busted in MO and it took ~1 year for the BON to catch up to them.
  3. by   Been there,done that
    She will not get jail time. Lawyer fees depend on the lawyer.
    Where is your concern for your wife ( minus her income potential)?

    "Anyone tell me what to expect? "
    She has a chronic pain issue..with an addiction problem.. we expect you to take care of her.
    Last edit by Been there,done that on Nov 5, '17
  4. by   got_nurseing73
    Thank you. I read Missouri doesn't have an alternate plan. Her lawyer may know otherwise when we meet in a week. Hope better news than I am reading on here. We are discussing options. I know keep asking about the license part, that is the unknown. The addiction part, she is dealing with. Made it thru 30 day out patient. Going to 3 or 4 AA meetings a one now.Thankfully it was only a short period of time that she used and didn't have major withdrawals or cravings .. It was stupid and weak in my opinion and hers but she is dealing with that part. She still has the back issue that sorta of caused this in the first place. Although it hasn't been not as bad since she hasn't been lifting 250 lb people and walking for 12-14 hrs a day for the last 6 weeks. I just seem frustrated with what I read it seems its more about money and programs and control by the BON and its rehab facilities. If the probation meens calling in everyday 7 days a week? or just weekly? If you do that for 2 or 3 years for urine tests. I don't understand why not just give 1 test a month hair or blood. Still have same result if your clean or using yet not as cumbersome and less likely to miss for an innocent reason. If she can work for months or a year it may be easier and better to just make some money to bank and find another career when the day of reckoning comes. She still has a degree and the basics are still the basics what 32 more credit hours she do something else. Maybe in 5 or 10 years there will the nursing shortage I think is coming with more n more older people and they will relax the probation and red tape if not then she has a physically easier career. Depends what lawyer says I guess nd what she wants to do. Thank you all again for the input. I am on here for her she is still embarrassed and depressed but trying to overcome.
  5. by   got_nurseing73
    She has made it thru the 30 day program. No issues no cravings. I am on here because I am trying get info to help her and myself deal with reality's of addiction and the fact she may lose her license and job. I was the one pushing her to try pain management because she was always hurting, back mainly old wreck and the physical issues of the job( she isn't a big woman). I also am the one that urged her to go straight to rehab. I feel guilty because I should have known, I saw signs the last 5 or 6 weeks but believed her excuse or reasons for things that looking back were signs. Theres no need putting all on here, but needle bruises ect tired yet cant sleep fatigue irritableness. I pushed her to go tonight to her meeting and to talk to lawyer and see what options there are. Ultimately its up to her. She is depressed she put 6 years for schooling and 10 years of career possibly gone now. Embarrassment from family we have kids in college and a 2 1/2 year it is stressful I work 60-80 hrs a week in my business and we rely on her income too so things will have to change drastically and it isn't easy. I am trying to be supportive .I didn't do it. She chose to take it the first time. She knows that too. All addicts make that first choice that leads you down the path. I truly don't know whats its like to be an addict. I have been in severe pain. I was in an explosion. 3rd degree burns from 1500 degree aluminum skin graphs 5 years of recovery. a car wreck and cracked neck n spine. I hurt. I never wanted to use. I don't even like pain meds or Tylenol. I hurt from my physical job. I am upset with her for using but I love her and am trying to help her. We still have a daughter to raise and kids in school that need our support and not lose our home ect. It is just very stressful and not knowing is the worst.
  6. by   DRossy
    I think you're being supportive by being on here asking questions she's too depressed to ask so you can give her an idea of what to expect. It's not like losing an income is no big deal for most families- it's a huge freaking deal. Just ignore any negative comments, you have enough to deal with right now without having a stranger judge you and the way you're handling this for you and your wife. It's not like addiction only affects the addict, it's a blow to you too it’s a blow to your entire family. And even though we all know addiction is a disease and we can empathize with her for having back pain it’s not like you as her husband don’t have a right to be upset by what she did or like you shouldn’t be worried about the way this is going to affect your entire family. Of course it’s stressful for you.
    Last edit by DRossy on Nov 5, '17
  7. by   got_nurseing73
    Thanks.. here's how I found out. Came home from working and getting 2 year old from wasn't home...purse on table. her in bed. I woke her up frantic thinking our car was stolen. She jerks up..crying hysterically saying she was an addict and needed help and thinks she got fired. I was stunned, hurt, in shock, confused and angry. So many questions and she was just crying. After I hugged n kissed her I and walked into other room with my 2 year old I just sat there for awhile not knowing what to do. I collected myself talked to her and called her mom in another state who happens to be a head manager of nursing home...she was upset too. We had to cancel a trip to see her daughter that just started college in another state and explain why. Then tell family that obviously knew something was up. Then get her into a program and I started googling things for I think about 8 or 9 hours that night. That was 6 weeks ago. She is better but depressed our kids are understanding and family is trying to be supportive. She lost people she thought were friends and we are draining our savings accounts. We were supposed to move into another home now I don't know how to not lose what we have and we have to figure out what else to cut back on and Christmas and tax time coming. It is so very stressful. I am venting. you all have gone thru this or are going thru this too so no need to explain but it helps me.
  8. by   DRossy
    It's an f-ing nightmare for her and for you, it really is. Being married to an addict is really hard. Being an addict is really depressing as is losing your identity. I don't think she should walk away from nursing though because finding gainful employment after losing your license is seriously difficult- you wouldn't think so but for a lot of nurses, losing your license means becoming a waitress or a grocery store clerk and I'm not knocking waitresses or grocery clerks. I'm just saying the pay is low and the humiliation and resentment that comes with going from a professional, esteemed career to a crappy job where you're treated like an idiot by managers who are less educated than you, it's severe. It's really hard to deal with, definitely increases depression and does nothing to help maintain sobriety. There's not much to fight as far as the board goes, basically do what they say so she can recover, regain control of her life and hopefully, eventually get back to work. But, honestly it might be a year before she's working as a nurse again... hopefully not though.
  9. by   Recovering_RN
    You are doing exactly what you need to be doing, getting information and figuring out your options. It affects more than just her, it's you and your family too, so ignore the negative comments. You're doing fine. I want to second the comment about not giving up on nursing. She will regret that. You have time to sock away as much money as you can now, have her continue working as long as you can. Your lawyer will give you more state specific advice than we can, but if she has a job now, I'd say keep it as long as she can. It's possible that by the time the Board catches up to her, she will have halfway fulfilled all the requirements they would have imposed anyway. IOP is done. She goes to AA meetings. You could always create your own sign in sheet to prove to the Board that's she's been going. Just google AA attendance sheet and you'll probably find plenty. It's just a sheet with one line per meeting. Each line has the date, time, AA group name, and a place for the meeting leader to sign. They are used to people asking them to sign, often at my groups the leader would announce that if people had papers that needed to be signed, just put them in the basket that gets passed around for donations, and pick it up at the end of the meeting. It's very common.

    I totally agree that calling in every day, seven days a week, is ridiculous. I'd love to have a once a month hair test! I panic every single morning just for a second when I wake up, worried that I've forgotten to check in. Every...single...morning. I have an alarm set on my phone, it's a task on my calendar, and I don't check it off as completed until after I check in. I also do a screen shot of the confirmation page that states whether or not I have to test, so halfway through the day when I again panic and think I've forgotten to check in, I can look at my photos and see that screen shot with today's date.
  10. by   DRossy
    That's a great idea about AA sign in sheets to take to the board. Also, maybe go to the IOP she went to and have her sign an ROI for the board, since they’ll ask her to do that- might as well show up with it done.
  11. by   got_nurseing73
    Heres question. For those of you with a Nar restriction while on probation, does it go away after probation or is that forever? Also if the issue is drug addiction, will you be banned form alcohol while on the probation too?
  12. by   SpankedInPittsburgh
    Yeah no booze either
  13. by   funnie17
    Quote from SpankedInPittsburgh
    I check in every day and when they tell me I go get tested. I have several testing facilities in my area. I get tested 3-4 times a month at totally random times. The cheapest test I take is $44 ($15 dollar collection fee + $29 test fee). The most expensive I've taken is about $200 for a blood (PeTH) test. Usually its a couple hundred a month. In addition I have to pay for my weekly support group meeting I must attend no matter what (work is not an excuse for missing) at $25 per week. In addition I had copays for inpatient / outpatient rehab, evaluation fees. Also I lost much income due to not being released to work and then work restrictions. Between lost wages and all this other stuff it came to about $30K this year. I was OK financially and now I'm drowning in debt and looking at a bankruptcy. Factor all this in. No easy road but I'm doing it miserably
    I am really glad to hear that you have been hanging in there, and I wanted to mention something about bankruptcy because so many people have the wrong idea about who should use it. The simple fact about bankruptcy is that it's available for one thing and secondly it was written in order to protect individuals who happen to be experiencing financial conditions exactly like the ones your'e facing. Think about it, if a large corporation found itself drowning in debt because of some mistakes which it had made and was about to go under, you can be the bank that they would run as fast as they could to bankruptcy court. Believe me, they would take full advantage of every opportunity available to them in order to stabilize their financial situation with the sole intention of promoting their own well-being and future. Sure, you need to find out how filing will impact your future but there is no shame in taking advantage of a mechanism that was designed with private individuals in mind. After all, you only have so much time to experience this thing we call life, so make the best of it as soon as possible. Oh, one more thing: if you eventually decide to take advantage of our countries bankruptcy laws, do some research and be sure to maximize it's benefit.
    Kind Regards,
    Last edit by funnie17 on Nov 10, '17