Nurses Eating Their Young

In homage to an allnurses member who wrote a wonderful article entitled "Nurses Are So Mean", I'd like to provide excerpts from my personal blog which I wrote not to long ago. I give enormous kudos and applause to the writer of this article, and I sincerely agree. It seriously is about taking the time to evaluate your self and your actions, and the rationales for your reactions. It is about looking inward... it is ultimately about personal growth and fulfillment. Nurses Relations Article

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You are reading page 6 of Nurses Eating Their Young

I am a newbie to this site but I just have to say that this goes in reverse too. I am a nurse of 30 years and had that happen to me 3 jobs in a row. I had to leave the position all 3 times. I was literally run out. It has so affected me emotionally that I don't seem to be able to overcome it and return to work. That's sad after having given most of your adult life to the cause of caring for others. These people were so cruel that I could not believe they were nurses. I have the documentation to prove it. I honestly fear going back out there. I am petrified. I have no self confidence any longer. At one time I was so self assured I was a shift supervisor, an MDS Coordinator and even a Director of Nursing...I fear I may never go back..It's been 8 months now.

Doc Lori, R.N.

6 Articles; 135 Posts

Specializes in Dialysis,M/S,Home Care,LTC, Admin,Rehab.

The whole thing is, everyone is on their own valid paths, whether or not their current vantage point at any particular point in time is good, bad or ugly..however it is up to us as individuals as to what we choose to allow to enter our realities. That's where self love and healthy boundaries come into play. We cannot control how others perceive, and therefore react to their surroundings, be it bitterness, rudeness or "eating their young", yet we can control how we will allow others to affect our realities..and in doing so, we are positively and energetically contagious :)

I have read every post in this article and am sad to see that Dr. Lori's intent for writing the article in the first place was completely overlooked or ignored.A lot of the nurses tried to justify their behavior, make excuses, and blame the new nurses. The responses slowly but surely went back to "This is why I eat my young". I have to say looking within is not an easy thing to do. I have learned that it is something we have to do in order to grow. I learned this during my awakening and still have a long way to go. I admittingly see a lot of things in myself that I don't like and can be improved upon. When you look in the mirror and only see a face staring back there is only vanity but no growth. However, look in the mirror and gaze into your own eyes. Have a conversation with the person staring back. (I know it sounds crazy but it works) Ask questions, and search your heart for honest answers. I call this "a conversation with your soul." If you absolutely can't stand the sight of someone, ask yourself why and answer honestly. There will be times when you realize "oh! that was ugly", or you are the one with the problem, then you do something to change it for the better. There is where growth begins.

Doc Lori, R.N.

6 Articles; 135 Posts

Specializes in Dialysis,M/S,Home Care,LTC, Admin,Rehab.

Thx for that. I think it's rather interesting how this article is spinning! Wheee!


15 Posts

Specializes in Medical-surgical.

This was so great. I'm new grad and just finished orientation in my hospital. While a couple of the nurses I worked with seemed to not like the idea of precepting, I took it as exhaustion and I really felt for them. I was fortunate enough to work with a really great team who encouraged the idea of us newbies to grow and be inquisitive. I had a really good precepting experience and want to let new nurses know that the majority of experienced nurses WANT to help us. I chose to show the experienced nurses the utmost respect for what they do and at the same time show them I got to where I am for a reason.


4 Posts

Being a secretary that was smacked in the face (literally) by a clumsy nurse hanging the sliding board, to being smacked in the face by all the catty opinions the nurses freely showered me with, and trust me, they did not hold back...I applaud YOUR post! You hit it right on. Nurses are NOT kind to the new people in their unit, and that is their biggest flaw. It made me come very close to NOT continuing my nursing education. Had I not truly needed the job after a layoff at my former law firm, I would have quit being their secretary rather quickly. I think all hospitals should make it mandatory that nurses treat other nurses, new or otherwise, with respect and kindness. I can honestly say more than 50% of the nurses I've worked with are rude, lazy and gossipy. But, this is not a perfect world.


37 Posts

Specializes in med/surg and adult critical care.

Nurses can be catty....but lawyers are not saints(writing this because you state you worked in a law firm)... both professions are stressful and hard work...gotta have thick skin to be work in health can't let what others say to you affect your job performance...if I did that I would have stopped nursing before I really is what it is....sometimes we as human beings have character flaws such as being too sensitve( I have my times)....another point is that nurses are catty because that is how they handle stress( Example: the tv show MASH the humor on that show was irreverent at times and the characters were catty)...and if you have not experience the stress us nurses have then you don't really get it....third point is that the nursing profession is composed mostly of women....and I have learned working with women can be difficult and yes, women are very catty...especially in nursing........Last point let it roll off your back like water rolls off a duck's back...Just some thoughts of mine and other nurses that were mentors and colleagues.


172 Posts

Specializes in Urgent Care.

Nursing is my second career, I am still a new grad. I don't exactly feel the "nurses eat their young" thing. I have, however, had honest nurses tell me how it is and what I need to work on to be a better nurse. During my orientation I have been pulled into rooms by experienced nurses behind closed doors telling me exactly how they felt. A couple of times I cried (funny, I am not a crying type) but they would get me the tissue. I would still walked out with my head high determined to prove myself. I just don't think any experienced nurse (preceptor) wants to see us fail especially if they put a lot of time on us. I was fortunate enough that I had a very experienced preceptor who was hard core. She wasn't going to allow me to slack or learn any "tricks." She was very intensed at first and then let me go on my own. If I screwed up, she had no problem telling how my screw-up could have effected patient care. I learned so much from my preceptor that I asked her to be my Mentor. Best thing I have ever did.

No matter who we deal with, we can only do our best. And for some nurses, our best won't be good enough...learn from them.


1 Post

LMAO...this article is hilarious...I hope nursing school instructors get a load of this, its great.

morte, LPN, LVN

7,015 Posts

i disagree, and it makes me angry to think you will give them the excuse of being "afraid", for their rotten,childish, reprehensible, loathsome, evil behavior. I have been on the recieving end of this, the expression of their disenfrancisment,disenchantment, anger.......and i will NOT give them the excuse of fear! They were just plain, every day evil.

Doc Lori, R.N.

6 Articles; 135 Posts

Specializes in Dialysis,M/S,Home Care,LTC, Admin,Rehab.


Believe me, I totally and completely understand. It is only after many years of therapy, then forming my own counseling practice for nurses when I boiled it down and realized that on a visceral level, there is the scent of primal fear.

Bottom line, mean people suck and there is no excuse for it..and we can choose to accept their energies into our space..or not :)


1 Post

I'm a new grad (May 2010) and have been precepting for a couple weeks now. The nurse I was assigned to seems friendly enough, I'm not sure she's very popular with her co-workers, but I hardly ever know where she's at. If it wasn't for the other nurses working with us I'd be completely lost. I don't know if she offered to precept me or if I was just assigned to her. On my first day I got all these sympathy looks from other nurses when they found out who I was with. She's never been mean, just kinda absent. I think I've been lucky in that the other nurses on the unit have all banded together to help me adjust and learn the ropes. I seem to have more trouble with PCTs than with the other RNs. If I ask them to help with a patient they give me this look like "who are you to tell me what to do?" Believe me, I'm not above getting my hands dirty and I don't think that having RN after my name makes me too good to do any job, but if I ask them to bath a patient or change a bed they look at me like I have two heads.

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