nurses with Aspergers/autism?

Nurses General Nursing

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can anyone relate? i don't know what i'm asking for here really, other than i guess confirmation that i'm not alone? and maybe advice on how other nurses with autism/aspergers cope and blend in?

i feel like no matter how hard i try to act like the "normal" extroverted empathetic professionals around me, i still come off as weird/awkward/uncaring sometimes. an example- i work with geriatrics/older adults and I talk to them like they're...well, adults! because I assume that's what they want. Who wants to be talked to in an infantilizing way like they're children? But then other nurses/therapists/aides talk to patients in this way and the patients rave about how "sweet" and "caring" they are. So clearly I'm missing the mark here.

another example- i'm very task-focused. my productivity is amazing, and i get compliments on my actual work (IV starts, etc) but i'm so focused on what i'm doing that i apparently come off as uninterested in the patient because I don't make a lot of small talk because that doesn't come naturally to me at all, so whenever I try, I feel like it sounds forced and awkward. But if I don't do it enough, then I apparently am not caring enough. "resting *****face" when i'm concentrating on something (like oh idk, actually doing my job) doesn't help.

i'm good at anticipating patient needs and offering tangible/practical assistance (i.e. always being on top of pain meds and call bells, offering to take patients to the toilet instead of waiting for the aide even if i'm busy, etc) because i can do things like that, but i'm not great with making conversation, or knowing what to say/how to react when patients are upset or talking about their problems- i do try to make all the right facial expressions and say the right things, and i guess it works at least some of the time because i have had patients be like "you're such a great listener" and whatnot, but other times i feel like everyone can tell i'm just copying other people and have no idea what i'm doing when it comes to the "bedside manner" aspect of this job.

it's really frustrating and exhausting to put so much energy into trying to be someone i'm not. especially when i still feel like in spite of all this effort i'm just weird and annoying.

Your nursing style is valid and good. I wish people were more accepting of different social styles, but I'm sure at the end of the day almost everyone is still happy to have had you as their nurse. I'm not on the spectrum, but I have several friends who are, and I can struggle with small talk as well. Sometimes people perceive that as aloof, but the only ones who give me trouble for it are the ones who like to make trouble anyway. You can certainly work on interpersonal skills to get more comfortable dealing with emotional situations, but I don't want you to feel like you aren't good enough because you have a slightly different way of functioning.

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Aspie mom here. My "high functioning" aspie child, that's not really a child anymore, eventually just figured out how to act/react to those around him while being himself. He's gotten pretty darn good at maneuvering the world around him but he hasn't lost sight of him being him which is what makes him so amazing!

Instead of trying so hard to mirror behaviors you think others expect, are you able to look into other areas of nursing that may be a bit less people-soaked...even night shift can cut day an on the amount of exhausting interactions but still let you do the things that you're good at. You might try your hand with ICU or PACU type settings where you still need those people skills but I would hope you could be more task oriented (mixed with a ton of critical thinking and knowledge) as well. Good luck to you. You are not alone!

Yeah, see for me, I'm interested in a lot of things but I don't think to express them on my face. They're simply thoughts to me. I've worked on that, too, but it's not natural for me. I have to think about how I'm going to show my expressions and it's like an art. Watching other people's reactions to see how they feel about my reactions, thinking what face is best-suited for this comment, and so on. I'm sure some people think it's fake, but I've also learned how to attach emotion to my tone and make it come from a more genuine place, to make it more natural.

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PS: I love your username, "RobotNurse". It's very accurate lol. My husband sometimes teases me and pretends to be me while speaking with a robot voice, saying "DOES NOT COMPUTE" when I ask him how I'm supposed to react to his playful banter, or when I say I don't understand why my co-workers were laughing at the fact that they like cake because most people do and it wasn't a joke? :sarcastic:

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There are some books you may want to read if you haven't already. One is The Complete Guide to Asperger's by Tony Atwood which is pretty much the Asperger's bible. Also two books written by people with HFA that are quite good ore Look Me In The Eye by John Elder and Journal of Best practices by David Finch.

thanks for the encouragement and suggestions! i've read the first two, but haven't heard of the Elder book; will put that on my list :)

Peace and Namaste

Hppy

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I loathe the baby talk to patients and you sound like the kind of nurse I love to work with. I say this as a very extroverted person as well, I can small talk with just about anyone. I think you should keep doing what your doing! I want the nurse who knows her/his stuff, could care less if he/she can be sociable.

thank you for the vote of confidence! :) i wonder if that is actually part of the problem- me trying too hard to act like everyone else, and i might be more successful interacting with people at work as (the professional/work version of) myself. :p

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matcha cat! thank you so much for replying. i started to quote your first post and then realized i'd just be quoting literally the entire thing because i relate to everything you said. :p i'm glad you're going for nursing if that is really what you want. it's daunting for sure (also relate to your almost dropping out of the CNA program d/t anxiety- i seriously contemplated dropping out on my first day of nursing school and just turning my car around and driving back to my home state for the same reason!), but i think you'll be successful- you're already troubleshooting and problem solving (including recognizing the benefit of quiet decompression time after a shift of being "on" for hours!) and like everyone else here in this topic is saying, there is room for a variety of personalities.

and your username is fantastic as well! it makes me picture a cartoon kitten lapping up matcha from a bowl. :p

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Aheheh!:cheeky: Thanks! And again, I'm really glad to see I can relate to someone, too, and it makes me so happy to hear that you ARE in nursing and are doing well. I know I'm going to run into problems, but you're right, there's room for a variety of different personalities in nursing. Good luck to us both. :D

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Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
thank you for the vote of confidence! :) i wonder if that is actually part of the problem- me trying too hard to act like everyone else, and i might be more successful interacting with people at work as (the professional/work version of) myself. :p

As long as you are not being blatantly rude you should continue to be you. One of my husbands biggest challenges is dealing with different people's personalities. He is a genius who works on control systems for aircraft and space flight vehicles so people expect him to be a bit odd, but he comes home daily exhausted from mimicking what he calls "Normal human behavior" he's pretty good at it but it's still hard.

Hppy

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I'm happy to find this thread. I'm starting nursing school in a week, and just found out that I have AS a few weeks ago. I know that my long-term goals are research or OR or advanced practice, but thinking of going through clinicals and having to work on a floor are really worrying me. People tend to like me and find me cute and quirky, but if they know me long enough, they discover I'm a bit weird beyond just being quirky, and I inevitably am excluded from the group. Knowing what I know about the politics and extroversion involved in nursing, I'm terrified of being completely miserable and failing or having people bully me. I'm good at academics, but not great at multi-tasking and organization. I've been seriously considering if this is a huge mistake.

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On 8/13/2017 at 11:49 PM, woodnymph said:

I'm happy to find this thread. I'm starting nursing school in a week, and just found out that I have AS a few weeks ago. I know that my long-term goals are research or OR or advanced practice, but thinking of going through clinicals and having to work on a floor are really worrying me....

I know this is an old thread, but @woodnymph and @RobotNurse how did this pan out for you? The world's awareness and understanding of ASD has grown immeasurably over the past few years, but I know stigma and bigotry towards "disabilities" are a huge part of reality for most of us in this world.

I have been schlepping towards my RN for over half a decade now. Doing so has been a lot harder for me than for some of my peers due to some of my more overwhelming ASD symptoms. I am very close now to getting in to nursing school, and also to receiving a differential diagnosis from an expert (over the past two decades I have been misdiagnosed as ADHD, PTSD, depressed, anxious, etc, etc, etc) The more research I do on this the more I realize my story is not unique--which buoys my resolve to become a nurse.

I would love to hear how you are handling things now, whether or not you are "out" to your peers or employers, and your take on working in this field with ASD.

I am considering posting a similar topic to the activism thread in the Nursing section here as well. Given how far we've come with these issues, it would be interesting to get a feel for what the community at large has to say...

Thank you in advance for you insight!

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On 8/13/2017 at 11:49 PM, woodnymph said:

I'm happy to find this thread. I'm starting nursing school in a week, and just found out that I have AS a few weeks ago. I know that my long-term goals are research or OR or advanced practice, but thinking of going through clinicals and having to work on a floor are really worrying me. People tend to like me and find me cute and quirky, but if they know me long enough, they discover I'm a bit weird beyond just being quirky, and I inevitably am excluded from the group. Knowing what I know about the politics and extroversion involved in nursing, I'm terrified of being completely miserable and failing or having people bully me. I'm good at academics, but not great at multi-tasking and organization. I've been seriously considering if this is a huge mistake.

How did you do?  I graduate April 3!  If I had known how alienated I would be for being an unadulterated aspie, I may not have even attended nursing school.  I made it though.  I sit for my boards soon. 

Are you practicing now/still?  Any advice for a new aspie nurse?  Reading this discussion board has renewed me, its lovely to be amongst kindred souls.  Thank you.  

Whit

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Specializes in CNM.
2 hours ago, Whitney M said:

How did you do?  I graduate April 3!  If I had known how alienated I would be for being an unadulterated aspie, I may not have even attended nursing school.  I made it though.  I sit for my boards soon. 

Are you practicing now/still?  Any advice for a new aspie nurse?  Reading this discussion board has renewed me, its lovely to be amongst kindred souls.  Thank you.  

Whit

It is hard to be a nurse and also be on the autism spectrum.  As a provider, I come home some days barely able to move, not because I am physically tired, but because my own personal and mental energies have been drained away speaking and working with patients and the other healthcare workers under the collaborative care model.

Like many have said on this thread, I am very much a task-oriented person, and sometimes especially as a midwife, I have to remember to put aside the task and turn on and use the empathetic side of my brain.  That is the difference between those of us who are on the spectrum and the rest of the population who are not; in that, we have to put conscious thought into mirroring and making sure that we are giving the correct facial cues and use the correct body language within the correct social context.  It is very exhausting on top of also being a provider.  It was also difficult for me in nursing school because I would also come off as distant or arrogant or a know-it-all when I was just deep in thought or I didn't read the room correctly and answered our teacher's questions or student's questions one too many times.

But for those of us on the spectrum, remember that we also bring our own gifts to nursing.  Many of my patients especially birthing people appreciate that I am direct and can give concrete advice on morning sickness or suggestions when a baby has colic.  Many pregnant people have enjoyed working with me clinically and have said that they will come back and see me again if they were to have another baby in the future.  Being direct is also a good skill to have when you have a laboring patient who is losing focus and you need to bring them back to the present moment to finish pushing.

All I can say is that it gets better with practice and experience and I work in a specialty that can be especially hard for an individual on the spectrum.  We can't change how our mind is wired but we can as I said with practice understand how to better work with our colleagues and patients.  If you are also willing to discuss this with your colleagues, they will also come to understand you a little better as well.  The best piece of advice I can give is to remember to save a piece of yourself so you aren't burning yourself out completely.  Most people on the spectrum have an interest outside of their job, so I turn to that when I need some space.  My hobby is goldfish keeping and it is very soothing to me to watch them swim in a tank when I need to unplug for a little while.  I would also second the recommendation to find a therapist or a counselor who specializes and has experience working with those of us on the spectrum.  It can help to have someone who understands and can act as a sounding board with regards to our particular brand of thinking and help us better work with those who are not on the spectrum.

Good luck with boards!

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