Published Dec 2, 2008
NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN
10 Articles; 18,926 Posts
Idea from lpnflorida :)
Are you caring for a disabled or ill parent/child/family member?
What special issues are you facing in this role?
Issues with support system....resources?
Issues with taking time off..
Lets support each other..
ohmeowzer RN, RN
2,306 Posts
yes i am taking care of my elderly mother. she lives with me. she was a nurse for 50 years and no retirement, she has social security only. i pay for everything. i don't mind because i love her and she was a wonderful mother. i don't know what i would do without her.
i have siblings but they visit or call and no finincial support. they have not offered one penny towards mom's care. which is fine because we are making it just fine. i take mom to all her appointments and take her out for rides ectra i have a good husband and kids .
luckily mom has been healthy and i haven't neded anytime off. knock on wood .. but i know it won't always be that way.
i appreciate this post and thank you for bringing this subject to light.
happy holiday
msunderstoood
16 Posts
I too am the caregiver of the family. I take care of my 76 year old mom with emphysema, CHF, Dementia etc... (you know the story). I am single, 39, and have my own chronic health conditions. My mom is non compliant, stubborn, and sometimes a nightmare but I love her and will do anything to keep her out of a nursing home.
I have 3 older brothers that are married that are somewhat useless when it comes to knowing when I need help. I would love it if they would call and say "hey I want mom for the weekend" or "can I do anything for you" but it never happens. I usually have to call them, hopefully they will answer the phone and I provide the transport for 2 of the houses.
It can be exhausting, worse when my own health issues are not going so great. I am glad to see I am not alone on here. I know the few times that my mom has been in an icu and sicker than hell it was hard being the nurse of the family. I wanted to be the child and let someone else make all the decisions afterall I am the youngest. It just doesn't work out that way I guess.
I ended up going to counseling because my stress/anxiety over my moms health issues came to a head the last time she tried to check out. I tried controlling everything I could to make sure she didnt' get sick, her diet, meds, exercise etc... now its ok that she goes uptown to smoke, she has had a great life, she is her own boss and I am ok with that... (for the most part :-) sometimes the nurse in me still takes over and I have to put her in check.
Anyway, this conversation struck me and I wanted to let anyone else know you aren't alone in this... I know when she is gone I will miss her dearly but I am grateful for every second I have been able to spend with her.
Thanks!
Keepstanding, ASN, RN
1,600 Posts
god bless you both for the sacrifices you make, as well as a busy career !
praiser :heartbeat
Aneroo, LPN
1,518 Posts
god bless you both for the sacrifices you make, as well as a busy career ! praiser :heartbeat
i agree!
lpnflorida
1,304 Posts
Somedays I find it difficult trying to balance what my significant other needs and my own needs plus working. The last 3 weeks my days off have been spending them in endless doctors offices for his appointments. At home it is doing what he needs in addition to all the things needed in the yard and house.
Work has granted my request to work every weekend and every monday so that there is no conflict between my work and his medical appointments.
At some point his children in the area will need to help out on the weekends when he is no longer able to spend time alone. I cannot afford to stay home and take care of him fulltime. I wish I could.
I too am grateful for each and every day that we have left together. Somedays the tears just come grieving in advance I suppose.
I am grateful to know I am not alone in this struggle of love and life.Yes, it is hard when all they have is social security, my wages without his knowledge help make up for the extras when things break down in the house and need to be replaced.
i am so grateful for this thread . i am so glad i am not alone( because sometimes i feel as i am ) . i send you all my love and support and if you ever need a shoulder i am here for you.
I also extend an ear to anyone who may need it. Feel free to pm anytime.
Kizzy a special thank you.