Nurse Mobbing/bullying

vloho · May 29, 2006

Paper work would have backed me up, but DON, acting , Said she wasn't goingto argue with me, all this in front of the aadministrator.

chadash · May 29, 2006

This is an excellent book about violence between women.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1560253517/sr=8-2/qid=1148867691/ref=pd_bbs_2/002-1138440-4524836?%5Fencoding=UTF8
I don't know what it is about women not being able to get along the way men do. I grew up with 5 brothers and as a result I usually say what's on my mind and don't second guess everything someone says. For example: If you say to a man "Are you going out for lunch?" he will think you are truly curious about his plans for lunch. If you ask a woman if she's going out for lunch her thoughts my run along the lines of "Why does she want to know that? Does she want to go to lunch with me? Is she going to ask me to pick something up for me? Is she going to talk about me while I'm gone? Is she trying to go to lunch first so I have so I have to cover for her?..........and so on.
I once had a therapist tell me my interpersonal relationships were difficult because I don't understand "girl games." Since I grew up with brothers I never learned that delicate dance of friendship and language that girls learn to get along with other girls. I try to use this to my advantage and let other women figure out that I mean what I say. I don't couch meanness in friendly language and I won't stab them in the back. Once they get to know me they come to find out they can trust me, and usually any hostility that gets directed at me goes away. I can' say it's foolproof. I've been run out of places where it didn't. Still, I believe in the power of human nature and I try to set a good example. I try to lead by being a good, decent person that others can trust, and hope that others will follow my example. If they don't, I just go someplace else.
BTW, what's a sticky?

Hey! another me!

I am ssoooo bad at girl stuff. I really like other women, but I get alot of the same responses that men get from women: I am clueless about what they need. And I totally get my husband and son. Go figure. Oddly, I am estrogen laden (well, until I was 50 or so ) and no tomboy, but my brain works like a guys. But I still throw like a girl.

Probably my dad's fault, I spent alot of time in the garage.

JessicRN · May 29, 2006

Just read all the posts of this thread and being a male nursing student I am curious about something. All the complaints I've read are in regards to the female nurses. I've read a few about male doctors but has anyone experienced this with male nurses as the source of these problems? I know males make up the minority of the profession so maybe it's harder to come across.

My situation was with a male nurse as well.

NurseyTee · May 29, 2006

Hey! another me!
I am ssoooo bad at girl stuff. I really like other women, but I get alot of the same responses that men get from women: I am clueless about what they need. And I totally get my husband and son. Go figure. Oddly, I am estrogen laden (well, until I was 50 or so ) and no tomboy, but my brain works like a guys. But I still throw like a girl.
Probably my dad's fault, I spent alot of time in the garage.

Oh!! I get it now! I grew up with only brothers in a neighborhood with only boys. So I played with all boys my whole life as a child and only grew up with boys. I am a total girl, inside and out, but I guess my brain is more boy thinking. My husband and I totally understand one another and I get my sons' too. I have 2 daughters though, that I've never understood all the high school drama and fighting. :confused:

Jo Dirt · May 29, 2006

I work with a male RN in home health but he has been nothing but nice and helpful and is very charming. The little old ladies love him.

pickledpepperRN · May 31, 2006

Here is another article and book:

http://www.nursingpower.net/abuse/abuse.html

chadash · Jun 1, 2006

Here is another article and book:
http://www.nursingpower.net/abuse/abuse.html

Went to that site and found this quote:

Hospital restructurings and downsizing have slashed bedside nursing staff - the backbone of the hospital - and have replaced RNs with poorly trained and poorly paid nursing assistants. Those RNs who remain at the bedside must now care for greater numbers of sicker patients who are assembly-lined through the hospital in shorter and shorter periods of time".

This really worries me. Do you all see this happening?

JessicRN · Jun 2, 2006

I to grew up with 5 brothers when we had an arguement or disagreement we would talk it out (yell when we were younger) but after the initial outburst and discussion it was over no grudges were held. In the military I was surrounded by male med aides and they were wonderful. I miss them.

I used to be angry at them now I just pity them. Take a look at the person doing the bullying, you will see she/he usually has has a hidden low self worth and has a lot of problems outside the hospital. I is sort of the kick the cat syndrome. If a nurse had empowerment and was respected more by the medical staff (less pt/nurse ratio,no mandated OT) I have a feeling akot of the bullying would stop. For the rest of the bullies. I believe the way for administration to deal with them is not to ignore it to immediately address it and to obligate both to seek EAP councelling just like the Police do.That way both get the help they need. A stressed or overwhelmed nurse cannot be an effective employee

chadash · Jun 2, 2006

I to grew up with 5 brothers when we had an arguement or disagreement we would talk it out (yell when we were younger) but after the initial outburst and discussion it was over no grudges were held. In the military I was surrounded by male med aides and they were wonderful. I miss them.
I used to be angry at them now I just pity them. Take a look at the person doing the bullying, you will see she/he usually has has a hidden low self worth and has a lot of problems outside the hospital. I is sort of the kick the cat syndrome. If a nurse had empowerment and was respected more by the medical staff (less pt/nurse ratio,no mandated OT) I have a feeling akot of the bullying would stop. For the rest of the bullies. I believe the way for administration to deal with them is not to ignore it to immediately address it and to obligate both to seek EAP councelling just like the Police do.That way both get the help they need. A stressed or overwhelmed nurse cannot be an effective employee

:yeahthat:

HarryPotter · Jun 2, 2006

I absolutelly agree.

I recently did research for the company I work for on Nurse Retention and Recruiting. In the surveys I did and read, all talked about the number one value that Nurses look for in an employeer is that they are respected and valued as professionals and knowledge workers.

The bullying that occurs within the healthcare industry could very well be

associated with the lack of respect.

Unfortunately, many Managers are not respectful and the staff under them

learn that kind of management style: micromanaging, being part of gossipping or allowing it to go on, etc.

I do see more females being part of the bully/victim mentality. And, tholgh I had not looked at this before, perhaps it is done more by women as a reation of being discrimiinated against for so long.

Salary is, of course, very important, but I found that if respect and being valued is not there, a Nurse would rather work for an employeer who does respect and value them even with a lower salary.

Sign on bonuses, etc., will just get a nurse in the door, and then out the back if respect and value is not there, to say nothing about the bully mentality.

What do you think? And what can we do about it?

HM2VikingRN, RN · Aug 13, 2006

Unfortunately, many Managers are not respectful and the staff under them
learn that kind of management style: micromanaging, being part of gossipping or allowing it to go on, etc.
I do see more females being part of the bully/victim mentality. And, tholgh I had not looked at this before, perhaps it is done more by women as a reation of being discrimiinated against for so long.
Salary is, of course, very important, but I found that if respect and being valued is not there, a Nurse would rather work for an employeer who does respect and value them even with a lower salary.

Oh how true! I took a demotion to get away from bullying female bosses.

HM2VikingRN, RN · Aug 13, 2006

You need to document and document and document. You present some kind of "threat" to these narcissistic, jealous, insecure individuals. Remember: Only the best are bullied!
Be blessed!
Deb

Thank you for posting a comment that helps me in my recovery from a bully boss.