Why so closed minded? WHY? - page 10

Worked with a male nurse the other night. This nurse is agency and has worked at our facility for some time. He always gives good pt care and is helpful to the aides and other nurses. As I took V.S.... Read More

  1. by   Dayray
    Originally posted by Crankyoldnurse
    I wonder about a guy who needs to work women's services anyway.
    What exactly do you wonder?

    is it just to prove their own point or advance their own agenda?
    What point could I possibly prove by working in OB?

    As far as advancing my own agenda, I will admit to that. I very much want to help people especially young families and teen parents. Working in this area allows me to do that. My agenda is to help people and make a difference so yes I do it to advance my own agenda.

    Bet the nurses who are warning of a male nurse there have been getting flack for the guy even being there at all.
    Ill take that bet. When I first started in OB the other nurses didn't like me much and ran to tell my managers anything I did wrong. One of the conditions I made when going to the floor was that my managers tell me what kind of feed back they got. not a single patient has mentioned anything about my gender except to complement me.

    I could see I made the ladies uncomfortable for the most part.
    One thing I have learned from doing what I do, is that people (especially women) are able to sense a persons intentions. perhaps this was the reason for their discomfort with you.

    Why not go to a more comfortable setting rather than stay there
    I bet the same thing was said of the people who refused to sit in the back of the bus. You may not like us there but the reason it is uncomfortable is you and not us. I am actually very at ease with my patients. comments and looks from other nurses do make me uncomfortable however.

    I was offered positions in ER and ICU (the domain of male nurses) I have a back ground in critical care and EMS. I enjoyed the technical aspect of ICU but hated the fact that my patients were asleep and found it depressing to keep people alive who begged to be allowed t die.

    ER is fun but I feel that I can do more for my patient in OB.

    I'm not knocking these areas I have allot of friends in them and I am glad to know there are capable people there.

    We are different kinds of nurses you and I Crankieoldnurse. You enjoy working in critical care and helping patients with complicated medical situations. I enjoy the helping patients with social issues and teaching them to care for their babes.

    I'm sorry this makes you uncomfortable but I don't know why you feel the need to make disparaging remarks about me or my motives.
  2. by   psychonurse
    Man this post got a little heated at times.... I haven't been on the board for a couple of days and this all happened. Interesting. I have had both male and female doctors in my life and I was very suprised how hard nosed some female GYN doctors can be. I am 46 years old, 8 years from retiring and my SO and I have been against having children the whole time we have been together. I have been having lots of bleeding problems the last couple of years and my mother and another maternal aunt died of ovarian cancer. The last time I went to my female doctor when I had just got over a 15 day period that was very harse I asked her about having a hyst and she said "Don't you think that you have to suffer a little like all women." Well I went to a male Gyn and when I told him my history and my symptoms, he has me scheduled for a hyst next week. When I walked out of his office the first time I told him thank you because before that I thought I was going crazy and maybe there wasn't that much wrong with me. Most of the time I have gotten more sympathy from male than female doctors.

    Having been a nurse for 20+ years I have seen my share of male and female nurses and there are some good and bad, no matter what sex they are. You will have one female that will sit on her a** while everyone else is running like chickens with thier heads cut off and the same with males. I have also worked with some males that even though they are behind if you go and ask them for help they will stop and help. You never know until you work with anyone for a while.

    Being a patient, I don't mind having a male take care of me. In fact, I prefer males to females. They always go the extra mile for me and my family. I can remember when my mother was in the hospital the last time, one of the nurses that took care of her when she first had her stroke was so great, he was in there every 15 or 20 minutes to check on her and always made sure that she was turned every two hours. That was better than some of the females that took care of her. This male nurse also went and visited her when they moved her to another unit. And when my mother was dying he asked permission to be there and I was glad to have him. So my hats off to all male nurses.....I hope that I work with many more before my career ends. :angel2:
  3. by   hollybear
    psycho nurse i have found the same to be true, i much prefer male obs, and male nurses.
  4. by   psychonurse
    yes I am going to have a hyst next week and I don't know if they have a GYN floor at the place that I am going but I hope that I can have some TLC from one of those great male nurses.....
  5. by   teeituptom
    Howdy yall
    from deep in the heat of texas

    The feathers seem a little ruffled a bit here... Seems Mark and dayray are a little overly sensitive. Hell when I started in this field that area was strictly verbotten to us males back then and it was gracefully accepted by us to as a limitation. That has changed over the decades. I did L and D back in the mid 80s for a while. but now a days there is no reason for those limitations, except for individual patient preference which need to be respected of course under any circumstances.

    so wazzup dudes and dudettes

    doo wah ditty
  6. by   Dayray

    Sometimes things come across a littel differently on BB's. It's hard to pick up the real intentions of whats being said without the benifit of inflection and tone of voice.

    I very much enjoy this topic and even the opionions of the people who disagree with me. I have to admit a few comments have ticked me off a littel but for the most part I just like talking about this subject.

    This and other discusstions like it have helped me get a clearer picture of what nurses think about me and others like me.

    Keep the comments coming ! I may not agree with everythign said but heck its fun to talk about
  7. by   mario_ragucci
    I have no problem working with anyone who can communicate and who's main concern is patient care. Some, I notice, have other concerns which are hidden, and I can't help that, nor do I feel I should have to tolerate it.
    If you are not able to come to work with a pleasant additude, I say, "stay away." If your gonna look at male or female issues, go to a tabloid newspaper or something. We have enough drama to contend with dealing with PT's who are known to be needing help. We have the simple task of providing care. Sometimes it's complicated, but the idea is simple.
    Yet - you have people working who are below par when it comes to a positive, or average, demenour, and it will always be a thorn in my side.
    Doesn't anyone know how to be happy and content? It's a state of mind :-)
    (automatic disclaimer) Please do not publicly slander, or otherwize attempt to defame me, for what I say.
  8. by   Dayray
    Im not sure I understand what it is your trying to say Mario.

    I'm a pretty happy person (if you ment me). I dont have any hidden concerns. Patient care is my first prioirity and (again if you were talking to me) I dont know how you would have any way to know what my nursing practice is like.

    The whole male/ female issue as you call it, is an issue for nurses not patients. I don't talk with patients about what gender they want as a nurse and they don't feel uncomfortable with me.

    My coworkers and I don't talk about it much either. I don't go to work with a bad attiude or looking for a fight. I get along very well with the people I work with, now that they have gotten to know me. My wife and I go to dinner and movies with most of my coworkers.

    I remember a post you made a few weeks back about a female patient who accused you of inapropriateness. If you look back at that post you'll see that I said some pretty nice things about you. I know how that made you feel becuse many nusres feel my presence in OB is inapropriate.

    I don't think it's cool for people to judge me based on my gender and the area I work in. I'm not sure why that would make you think Im a bad nurse or that I cause trobel in my work place.

    I'm sorry if I mistook the meaning of your post. please let me know if I did
  9. by   mario_ragucci
    Hey DayRay, my post was a statement to the board as whole concerning how I feel. No way did I intend it to be directed to anyone in particular. Just a statement. I don't think I used any proper nouns in my last post.
    I identify with anyone who has to tolerate meaness, or meloncolly, or any of that other preconcieved BS that employees always find a way of bestowing upon each other in a negtive way.
  10. by   Dayray
    Okay sorry =)
  11. by   norinradd
    I usually just take pt's comments in stride. I say "yes, and we have female doctors to". I use a lot of humor. Some pt's are intimidated so I make a point to get down on one knee or pull up a chair to talk. I use a soft tone and demeanor. Female nurses can get away with saying a lot of things that males can't, and no that is not a complaint. Their are ways to allow patients to keep their privacy for the most part, when there isn't I reassure them that I have been doing this for some time. Because a lot of the time older women are embarrassed for us, not by us. Once in awhile, a patient acts a little odd about you and I have refused to have some of these pt's. In this day and time men do have to be weary for legal reasons. One complaint, however ridiculous can end your career. Remember the old movies that always had a kindly old single man who gave the neighborhood kids ice cream and they ran in and out of his house? Today he would have a sign on his lawn.
    Pt's I can over look, nursing instructor's I can't. I have met several instructors who state point blank. "Men Do Not Belong In Nursing". I have been told it was the last place women could work "without" men. I could not believe such thinking could still exist. One of my instructor's had this opinion and I had to be perfect around her. Several of the ladies in the class even complained on my behalf.
    As for being thought of as gay. All I have to say is I am a very lucky man to be working around so many intelligent and attractive women and not make a single boyfriend angry.
    Last edit by norinradd on Jul 27, '07
  12. by   researchrabbit
    I had one occasion where the two male RN students changing an elderly lady in a nursing home were patently embarassed and talking to each other and ignoring her to decrease their embarassment...she was so embarassed she couldn't open her eyes and had her face all screwed up like "Let this be over soon".

    They got better. Not to say we female students didn't make mistakes either...the same rotation, I had to help a guy (who looked like my Dad) who was VERY sharp mentally but with extreme physical problems take a shower...not everything had problems, mind you...well, the inevitable occurred, I turned bright red, but he helped me, started a joke about how "Big Thunder" sometimes just took over (guess what "Big Thunder" was!). I had to laugh, and he laughed too. ANYWAY, I never had much trouble after that, always remember BIG THUNDER in those situations!

    Guess what I'm trying to say is that most nurses try and most of us can learn given the right attitudes on the part of others.
  13. by   live4today
    After reading through MOST of this thread......I must say that I am totally in SHOCK that nurses who are men are treated this way in nursing!!!

    I have worked with nurses who are men on many occasions on all types of nursing units, and have been in Charge on some of those occasions....in both civilian and military hospitals alike.......and NOT once have I ever had a complaint against a nurse who is male brought to my attention, and NOT once has any patient ever stated that she preferred not having them care for her. WHAT IS GOING ON TODAY IN NURSING FOLKS???