Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 187

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   BostonTerrierLoverRN
    No I won't be needing your health history, I am paid to take care of your friend here in the hospital bed with the tubes, lines, etc.
  2. by   nerdtonurse?
    Yes, I wish your momma would come off the vent, we could get rid of all these tubes, and she'd be well again -- so she could smack the ever lovin' buhjeezus out of your lazy, drug addicted gluteus maximus, kick you and all your drug buddies out of her house, and force you to grow up and get a job. You're 43, for pete's sake!
  3. by   Staragate
    You ask me if you are bossy. Of course, being the sweet person I am, I avoid the question and just tell you that I think you KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT. But yes, you are bossy and the most obnoxious resident in this place. I will be extra sweet to you so you don't decide to dream up 'stories' to tell people.
  4. by   Aurora77
    Most people understand the concept of "your nurse is busy right now dealing with a patient who isn't doing well. I'm not your nurse, but I am a nurse and am happy to help you until she's free." Apparently you aren't most people.
  5. by   NocturneRN
    "Contrary to what the commercials tell you, you don't come to the hospital to be waited on in comfort. You come here to work at getting well, and some of the work you have to do might be uncomfortable. And, no, it doesn't particularly make you look witty to address me as 'Nurse Ratched' when I expect you to do things you'd rather not."
  6. by   Lynx25
    You peed all over the wall.... ALL DAY

    If your psychotic screaming wife comes and tells me ONE MORE TIME that it smells like urine, I will give her a bleach wipe and toss her out the window.
  7. by   Altra
    Quote from Lynx25
    You peed all over the wall.... ALL DAY

    If your psychotic screaming wife comes and tells me ONE MORE TIME that it smells like urine, I will give her a bleach wipe and toss her out the window.
    Don't bother with the bleach wipe -- just toss her.
  8. by   travkitty
    No, I can't give you anything for pain until the Doctor sees you!

    Actually, I did say that, but outside the room I said to myself, "Why the frack do people think I, a nurse, can give them a narcotic before any tests & any doctor sets eyes on them? *****
    Last edit by travkitty on Feb 28, '12 : Reason: Woopsie
  9. by   maelstrom143
    "No, sorry. There is just so much magic our kitchen can come up with for a salt-restricted/diabetic/renal/fluid-restricted diet."

    "No ma'am. I really don't care if you call your lawyer." Gotta love the ones that threaten to call their lawyers. Had one of those a few months ago. Pretty funny, actually, especially since she went through the yellow pages and it appeared no one was interested in taking her case (Baker Act).
  10. by   anotherone
    . Not that I care, but if you doctor shop and are a frequent flyer to every hospital in a 200mile radius and one dr remembers you from a rotation at a ANOTHER hospital for the same "abdominal pain" evaluated by every specialist in the hospital with a resulting psych diagnosis that is not going to get you a dilaudid pca but instead a quicker psych consult and discharge.
  11. by   anotherone
    Quote from opossum
    "Did you forget something...?"

    I don't know, did I? I only have about a hundred things to prepare, execute and document in my 12hr shift. It's possible I might have forgotten something as critical as your fan, or your Pepsi, or ice cream. Speaking of which, I won't give you more Pepsi and ice cream while you are on an INSULIN DRIP. Doesn't matter if the MD OK'd it...I'm the last pass at the bedside and I personally think giving you high carb/high sugar snacks while you're here for uncontrolled hyperglycemia and on an insulin drip is downright stupid. And the fact that I cannot let you leave AMA without trying to keep you here is killing me...
    hahah why not? at home " i just cover myself any way"
    this thread is FUNNY. can't believe I mostly ignored it for so long
  12. by   blessednurse12
    "Well if you know how to take care of your loved one better than me...WHY????are you here? I love this one, a family member said to me "well the other nurse said..." Oh! the other nurse said and can you tell me what health book she published that says coumadin is a
  13. by   Lynx25
    Lady, you left your mom at a nursing home for five years, and proceeded to go on with your life.

    Don't come charging in like a wild boar when she begins her decline, and start screeching at me every weekend.

    Wave your hands in my face one more time and I will snap them off and stick them neatly where they belong.