liar liar

  1. I recently discovered that a friend of mine (or someone I concidered a friend) lied to me about being a registered nurse. She is actually a STNA on another unit. The thing that really bothers me is that she will call me in the evening and complain about her day at work. She will start a conversation about some resident that didn't know what he/she was doing or some other nurse that is slow with med passes, the STNA that is lazy, etc. I got suspicious when a lot of the things she would tell me didn't sound right. I looked on the board of nursing liscence verification site , and her name isn't registered. I checked married and maiden. I called on the floor and the secretary told me that she was an STNA. I know this may seem petty. Should I confront her with this lie, or should I continue to ignore this? It is getting harder to tolerate these stories knowing she is making them up, or repeating something she may have heard a real "RN" say!
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    About MsKieshaRN

    Joined: Jul '06; Posts: 22
    Specialty: Neuro-ICU stepdown, LTC


  3. by   L&Dnurse2Be
    What is a STNA? Is a nursing assistant? Big difference than an RN. I believe it is against the law to impersonate a nurse. Not sure where this issue would fall...I think I would just ask her for clarification, and see what she says.
  4. by   Halinja
    How important is the friendship to you?

    If I were you, and this is just my opinion, I'd confront her. Not in a "you are lying to me you *&*(&" sort of way, but just say that you were confused, you could have sworn she said she was an RN, but you just found out she wasn't, wasn't that ODD??? That sort of thing.

    That way, if the friendship is salvageable you'll find out. Otherwise...might not be a friend you want to have. But to keep on listening only enables her to keep misrepresenting herself...which isn't really healthy for either one of you.

    Good luck
  5. by   np_wannabe
    If she has not actually said that she is an RN, I would ask her if she was. Give her the opportunity to tell the truth. If she lies to your face, take it from there. You'll know what to do.

    Keep us posted.
  6. by   peacelovestar
    Aw, I read this and felt sorry for the delusional person. I’m just going to assume that she is embarrassed that she is only a nursing assistant (when really, that’s nothing to be ashamed of!).
    The whole situation is weird though and I think she should just do what your gut tells you. To be honest my first response was; If you can just let it go. But that’s mostly because I felt sorry for the girl.

    Anyway, because it’s obviously bothering you I’d say you should either think of a way to “catch her in her lie” Or, just simply bring it up. You can lie about how you found out, so it doesn’t look like you were sneaking around behind her back (not that you were, but you know what I mean..!). She’ll obviously be embarrassed, and probably defensive…and it won’t be a happy conversation…but you definitely need to do something about it. Just try to be sensitve and not angry when approaching her!
    Last edit by peacelovestar on Sep 17, '08
  7. by   MsKieshaRN
    L&DNurse2BE- that's correct she is a state tested nursing assistant.

    NPWannabe- She did actually tell me she was an RN, and voluntarily. I guess she didn't realize that I was an RN. We met at a parent teacher meeting. Our kids our in the same class. I must say looking back, she did look like she'd seen a ghost when I told her I worked at the same hospital. And a couple floors down at that.

    SweetHawiiangirl- She has lied to me about other things in our short friendship. I have just ignored or overlooked them because she is a nice person.Its' always over petty things like she got a job at Diamler Chrystler and they were going to pay for her and her fam to move get this 30 minutes away, she was going to get a new SUV, she owns her own townhouse. ( I only know she dosen't b/c my cousin used to lived in the same low-income townhouses she lives in now). It's sooo petty and stupid the things she lies about. Like another poster said, I think you can get into trouble for posing as an RN, but I guess it's only if you do it to a MD or someone while at work.
  8. by   TazziRN
    This sounds like a "friendship" to back away from, but before you do, you should confront her kindly and remind her that it is illegal to portray oneself as a nurse when no license is held.
  9. by   GardenDove
    Sounds like a real fun friend. . Your conversations must be very meaningful, talking about pretend things. Nothing like a trueblue, genuine, real MacCoy, I wish I had such an interesting friend!
  10. by   peacelovestar
    Well, there is definitely a theme to the things she lies about. Just confront her, and based on her response, you'll have a better idea if the friendship is worth it.
  11. by   MIA-RN1
    she sounds insecure and feeling as if she needs to 'one-up' people. Poor thing. I would offer her pity---from a far distance as you don't want to be part of it when it hits the fan and she gets caught. Be careful. Also, if she is impersonating a nurse at work, its a legal issue. Totally get away from her before you're in jeapordy too.
  12. by   JeepgirlRN
    Yea.. I would be careful about this whole friendship deal.. My best friend of 15 years is seriously a pathological liar- i feel sorry for her but Ive basically had to cut her out of my life because her lies started causing trouble for me and my family. I have confronted her a million times but she still lies about EVERYTHING.. This girl may be nice and all but when you cant trust a thing that comes out of her mouth there's really no friendship.. About the nursing lie- it is illegal to impersonate a nurse.. You can report her to the BON and they will take action..
  13. by   imenid37
    My daughter has a schoolmate who's mother told me she was a nurse. I asked RN or LPN? She is an MA. I told her you are not a nurse in a trying to be joking way. She is an obnoxiuous show off. She said yes I am, I do everything you do. She works at a family medicine office. I told her you may, I do not know, but if you are not licensed as an RN or LPN, then you aren't a nurse and that is it. She is a charming creature. She told a patient she visited on my unit who's backside hurt that she was given an IM injection by "some nurse who didn't know what she was doing." When the nurse told me about the complaint, I told her I knew exactly which visitor told the pt. that. This is a real pet peeve for me. If you want to be a nurse, then go to school and become one. Without the education, you haven't earned the title, plain and simple. The woman sounds like a liar and I'd stay clear.
  14. by   Lisa CCU RN
    I would end my friendship with this person, but don't make a big deal out of it--just make yourself unavailable.

    I've had my run ins with liars and the last two ended up being sociopaths and those are some people you don't want to get tangled up with.