It's Does No Good To Gripe About Nursing

Nurses Relations

Published

What I'm saying is that nursing is a profession. So, it's full of people who went to college and when you deal with college-type types there's always a lot of rivalry, competition, narcissism, etc. It's like that in all the professions. I have come to learn that part of being a good nurse, one of the tools a nurse must possess, is the ability to remain above and unaffected by the negativity of the workplace. It should be a 3-semester-hour class they teach that you have to pass a clinical in. All professional environments are negative by nature (Law, Medicine, Accounting, Science, Teaching, etc.).

Because nursing is a profession rather than just a job, you have to be really proactive in your own career. You cannot expect anyone else to help you. They may! But you really can't expect it. So, it does no good to gripe about nursing as a job, because it's not just a job.

If you need training, you need to go in and get it on your own--maybe even on your own time and dime.

You need to avoid any confrontations if at all possible, and when not, you really need to be really professional and blameless.

You cannot burn bridges, so don't set out to expose your supervisors or whistle-blow this or that, or report your colleagues, or anything else.

If you don't like an organization, resign gracefully and for reasons that are perfectly legitimate and positive. YOU WILL NEED your colleagues and supervisors on applications of all types for the rest of your career.

...Now, as I re-enter the nursing profession, let's see if I can take my own advice for once. :sarcastic:

Sorry your experience in nursing has been so negative. Not everyone has had such a negative experience. Best wishes for you to have happier days as you re-enter nursing.

Well, half of it was my fault. It's just like this post, I have a way of stirring things up, even when all I want is a fun debate or discussion. And I've gone in and acted the fool in the workplace, acted like I was Mr. Professional and the long-termers were somehow beneath my standards. I've definitely been the *******. Like in the Karate Kid, the original: Daniel gets bullied, yes, but every minute he's not getting bullied, he's stirring sh.. with the bullies. So, really, Daniel only has himself to blame--for at least half of it.

But I think I've changed, and I think I have the capacity for getting along now that I didn't have a year ago. (That's when I left nursing and assumed it would be for good.)

Part of that adjustment has come from just stepping back and accepting the world for what it is and not what I think it should be or want it to be, and that takes away a lot of the frustration.

Thanks for the well wishes, traumaRUs. I appreciate that. :yes:

Sorry, I wasn't clear. I wasn't asking how you avoided suffering at the hands of your colleagues. I was wondering how you, a presumably college educated man, avoided becoming a nurse guilty of rivalry, competition and narcissism - since you maintain those qualities are universal and we all just need to accept that to avoid burnout.

Oh, no. I was as much a part of that as anyone else. And for all I know, maybe that's the only way it works, but I think when one becomes more secure in themselves, they no longer have to act like that, and when one gives up a lot of the blind desire of ambition, they can focus more on what matters.

Someone up there in the comments suggested I should not teach if I have this attitude about nursing. But in truth, I need it, and I need to see nursing and the working environment of nursing for exactly what it is, so that perhaps I can find a creative solution, or at least a tool new nurses and CNAs can use for surfing the situation rather than getting sunk by it.

Yes, and that's exactly it: People go into the nursing profession expecting it to be fair and perfect, and it's not. I don't advocate leaving nursing, but rather learning how to ride the waves. Surf rather than sink as it were.

Thanks, Wondern. :geek:

I like surfing but it's not smart to surf in a known shark zone. :wideyed:

attachment.php?attachmentid=25373&stc=1

Not to say, I'm sure there are nice places to work out there as a nurse with nice coworkers, you just have to find them...

attachment.php?attachmentid=25374&stc=1 :happy:

I'm not actually trying to be snarky or negative. I believe if you understand the professional environment, you will better be able to navigate it. I wrote this post in response to people who write posts saying things like, "I'm leaving nursing for good!" I think a lot of burn out can be prevented if you just understand the landscape and manage your expectations accordingly. I mean, I've been a nurse for a while, and I've had lots of different jobs as a nurse in that time. And this is the way I have found it to be. Once I understood it, it didn't bother me as much. And to those who say everything is fine, and it's really me who is the problem, well, perhaps. Lacking that insight, however, I am unable to comment on that. :sorry:

So just be ok with status quo? No. I will continue to advocate for myself, my peers and most importantly, my patients. As human beings, we all, nurses and patients, deserve safer environments. I do not accept a "that's just the way it is" attitude. We don't advance as a society without a bit of a fight.

You just touched my biggest nerve with nursing. "That's the way it is mentality."

No, of course not. But if you are going to report a colleague or supervisor, or facility for that matter, it better be for something really serious.

And even then, you may have to realize that you will fall on your sword for doing it. And when all is said and done, all your next job is going to know is that you might report them, that you go behind your bosses back and report him or her, that you think you're better than others, that you will be spying on others, and that you have trouble working as a team.

Because here's a fact: in any given day at work there will be medication errors, neglectful care, ignorance, failure to call a doctor, doctors who don't call back to give an order, etc., etc., ad nasueum--every single shift. So, what sword are you going to fall on? Because you can only do it once.

And no, they can't fire a whistleblower, but you will make mistakes--every single shift, I guarantee it. And they will just start looking at them. And that's how they will get rid of you.

I know this sounds negative, but I really don't see it that way myself. It's definitely Machiavellian, but it's neither negative or positive. It's just the way things are, and nurses burn out all the time for not understanding it. That's all I'm trying to say.

It better be "really serious"? Are YOU serious? I will continue to advocate for my patients, my co-workers, myself & I really could care less what YOU think.

I feel like you are trying to open up some weird philosophical debate, but in reality you just sound cynical. Good luck wherever you end up, hope it's not as bad as your previous experiences.

It's one thing to say, "I will always stand up for my patients, my co-workers, and myself!" I mean it sounds really good. And you will always be in good stead wherever you work so long as you say those words with conviction and indignation. ...Of course, doing them is another thing altogether. I should tell you a story...no, never mind, I won't bore you with it, and you already made it clear that "You could [sic] care less what I think."

But if there is any man left on the Rio Grande, I would like to say that you have only one career to give. And if you really care about patients, and if you are a really good nurse, then if you burn out or get pushed out, you have done humanity a grave disservice. Personally, I don't think that's a cynical perspective.

Now, this cynic is off to listen to Steely Dan, "King of the World."

[video=youtube_share;A1AnvM3udVs]

No, of course not. But if you are going to report a colleague or supervisor, or facility for that matter, it better be for something really serious.

And even then, you may have to realize that you will fall on your sword for doing it. And when all is said and done, all your next job is going to know is that you might report them, that you go behind your bosses back and report him or her, that you think you're better than others, that you will be spying on others, and that you have trouble working as a team.

Because here's a fact: in any given day at work there will be medication errors, neglectful care, ignorance, failure to call a doctor, doctors who don't call back to give an order, etc., etc., ad nasueum--every single shift. So, what sword are you going to fall on? Because you can only do it once.

And no, they can't fire a whistleblower, but you will make mistakes--every single shift, I guarantee it. And they will just start looking at them. And that's how they will get rid of you.

I know this sounds negative, but I really don't see it that way myself. It's definitely Machiavellian, but it's neither negative or positive. It's just the way things are, and nurses burn out all the time for not understanding it. That's all I'm trying to say.

Whistle blowers can be fired - just not necessarily openly. If the boss wants you gone, you will be gone sooner or later.

I have worked with many people for the last few decades. Some were awful and some were wonderful. I don't think that college or the lack of it makes a person pleasant or not.

I do know that particular personalities tend to end up in particular specialties, although there are certainly exceptions.

Just try to keep a low profile. Do not be unfriendly but do not talk to people if you can help it. That is, don't gossip, don't gripe, don't chart in anger.

If you expect trouble, you will likely find it, so try to keep a positive attitude. Don't let this be too well known, as someone will likely want to rain on your parade.

Good luck.

Then what are you going to do? Ruffle feathers by spouting "opinions" and forcing your personality on others? Remember, it's YOU who wants to work with them. It's you who put in the application. If it was the other way around, if you had skills so rare and in demand that they simply had no choice but to do whatever they could to retain you, then you'd be able to ruffle feathers and give your daily opinions without fear of consequence. Without that, what are your choices? Either you will ruffle feathers or you will stifle you desire to do so. Neither is a good option. But what if you just had no desire to ruffle feathers or give your opinion or express your unique personality in the workplace.

And I'm not talking about giving your opinion when it's part of your job to do so. I'm talking about all the other times in the nurses station when its really just part of the chatter that goes on.

Stop chatting in the nurses' station. Stop expressing your unique personality at work. just do your job and go home. It's a job, you go there to work. you do not go there for social fulfillment, rather for the paycheck. Hopefully, you can enjoy the patients, certain tasks and aspects of the job, and some of the coworkers, but mostly it's about the work.

I am so glad I'm not in it full time any more.

Good luck.

Specializes in Critical Care.

I agree with some of the OP's insights. Some people are perfectionistic, competitive and judgemental. I've worked with nurses like this, thankfully they are in the minority. I suspect there are more of them in the ICU. Personally, I prefer more live and let live nurses that want to get along, not find fault over minor things or are very rigid in their ways.

I think minor medical errors do occur from time to time, probably not as often as the OP suggests, although perhaps in an ICU environment they occur more often, especially as policies aren't always followed by the book, but I don't see that as a medical error, rather the reality of time constraints and prioritization it simply isn't possible to do everything according to policy.

I agree its best to get along with everyone if you can. It will pay off dividends both in making the job less stressful and more peaceful and having friends is definitely better than having enemies. Plus friends can give good reviews with many places doing peer reviews as well as job references or being an in to a new and better job.

Also I agree don't write people up over little trivial things. Only speak up over something very serious.

Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
I'm not actually trying to be snarky or negative. I believe if you understand the professional environment, you will better be able to navigate it.

Your experience doesn't match everyone else's, and in fact, based on the responses not even close to the majority.

I wrote this post in response to people who write posts saying things like, "I'm leaving nursing for good!" I think a lot of burn out can be prevented if you just understand the landscape and manage your expectations accordingly.

Nurses leave the profession for many reasons- it wasn't a good fit for them to begin with (seen it many many times), stay at home parenting, early retirement, a change in interests. Yes, there are those who become burned out, but it's not necessarily just the "landscape".

I mean, I've been a nurse for a while, and I've had lots of different jobs as a nurse in that time.

Without defining "a while" and "lots of different jobs", that information is meaningless.

And this is the way I have found it to be. Once I understood it, it didn't bother me as much. And to those who say everything is fine, and it's really me who is the problem, well, perhaps. Lacking that insight, however, I am unable to comment on that. :sorry:

Everywhere you go, there you are. If you find the exact same problems in multiple places, chances are the multiple places aren't the problem.

Specializes in Critical Care.
Well, half of it was my fault. It's just like this post, I have a way of stirring things up, even when all I want is a fun debate or discussion. And I've gone in and acted the fool in the workplace, acted like I was Mr. Professional and the long-termers were somehow beneath my standards. I've definitely been the *******. Like in the Karate Kid, the original: Daniel gets bullied, yes, but every minute he's not getting bullied, he's stirring sh.. with the bullies. So, really, Daniel only has himself to blame--for at least half of it.

But I think I've changed, and I think I have the capacity for getting along now that I didn't have a year ago. (That's when I left nursing and assumed it would be for good.)

Part of that adjustment has come from just stepping back and accepting the world for what it is and not what I think it should be or want it to be, and that takes away a lot of the frustration.

Thanks for the well wishes, traumaRUs. I appreciate that. :yes:

Well I'm glad you saw the error of your ways and have opened your mind. I've worked with newbies that thought the old timers were lazy slackers with bad attitudes while they just knew everything and did everything better or so they thought. The truth is a new nurse knows so little and has so much to learn. Walk a mile in our shoes before judging as we've been thru the trenches.

I hope the other perfectionist judgemental nurses I work with will mellow and have an appreciation for all their coworkers and recognize we all bring different strengths to the table and can work better as a team. I cringe when I work with one who makes comments about you shouldn't drink at your desk its against policy and you shouldn't have your belongings at your desk. Who needs this petty BS.

I refuse to be thirsty and deprive myself of water. I may not always get a lunch break, but I'll be damned if I go thirsty because of some stupid policy! Another reason I prefer the night shift, most are live and let live kind of people!

Then what are you going to do?

I'll tell you exactly what I did. I did NOT shut my mouth when work kept piling more and more on to the point where it was downright dangerous. I spoke up, and so did my fellow coworkers. I finally refused an assignment, then began working elsewhere. Yes, that was a consequence, but with a good outcome. Because after I left, to the shock of my DON who thought I was bluffing about not accepting an assigment, others spoke up too. And 2 new hires saw the bait and switch and quit immediately.

The outcome? They created a new position of a desk nurse so to speak to take a huge load off of the floor nurses. The floor nurses were then able to focus on true nursing care, assessments and intervention, instead of racing the clock just to get meds done on time. THAT's what my coworkers and I did. We created change for the better. What are you doing to improve the state of healthcare? Lecturing us on sucking it up is the worst thing to do. The time you are spending posting on this thread could be spent spreading awareness to the crisis of nurse to pt ratios and safety outcomes.

+ Add a Comment