dealing with rude doctors? - page 3

new grad. started working about 8 months ago. slowly getting to know doctors. two times ive had to contact a doctor. i work night shift. both times i called and it wasnt past 10 pm. first time,... Read More

  1. by   Sour Lemon
    Quote from carolinapooh
    Most people don't write the way they speak. And as I said, you don't know if English is the OPs first language. In all the second language folks I've spoken with, many (in fact, most) speak it better than they write it (because the written language is always different than the spoken in practice anyway).

    Even my British husband (who is quite well educated) was a terrible "American" writer when he first came to the US - and yes, there's a huge difference, even for countries carrying a common language.
    I work with more foreign-born nurses than not. I have never noticed any of them writing in big blocks with no capital letters and no spacing. 99% of them are effective communicators despite English being their second (or third? or fourth?) language. The words may get mixed up now and then, but they're concise.
    I've also worked with a few American nurses who can't get to the point and frustrate everyone they dare to speak to. A little coaching can help that group and improve their workplace relationships.
  2. by   carolinapooh
    Not using capitals has very little to do with how one speaks. You're also dealing with a generation who types the way they text, something I don't condone - but this isn't the forum in which to play English professor.

    My eyebrows have gone up over your characterization of some American nurses who can't seem to "get to the point". There was no difficulty presented in the OP "getting to the point". People don't always express themselves in the way we'd like to hear it, but that's not always something that needs spot correcting. That's for peer feedback and supervisor feedback. I don't even do that to the Airmen I supervise.

    I'm throwing in the towel on this one because that's not the focus nor the purpose of the original post.
  3. by   2016New
    Quote from carolinapooh
    Most people don't write the way they speak. And as I said, you don't know if English is the OPs first language. In all the second language folks I've spoken with, many (in fact, most) speak it better than they write it (because the written language is always different than the spoken in practice anyway).

    Even my British husband (who is quite well educated) was a terrible "American" writer when he first came to the US - and yes, there's a huge difference, even for countries carrying a common language.
    I dont write the way i speak. I am also writing from my cellphone which is why nothing was really capitalized and such.
  4. by   2016New
    Quote from Sour Lemon
    It's not about "policing", it's about identifying a possible contributing cause to the OP's problem. She did come here asking for advice, after all.
    And thanks for the advice. But it most certainly wasnt the issue. Its just the way the doctor responded, not the way i spoke to him. Regardless, thanks for the advice and ill keep that in mind even more so next time i speak with anyone.
  5. by   2016New
    Quote from carolinapooh
    Not using capitals has very little to do with how one speaks. You're also dealing with a generation who types the way they text, something I don't condone - but this isn't the forum in which to play English professor.
    Thank you!
  6. by   FurBabyMom
    Okay. I remember being the new nurse on nights and calling docs. I now work in the OR and return many calls / pages for the surgeons I work with. I have an unfair advantage - I used to work in call center for customer service. I can be mad as can be and you wouldn't know it with my "phone voice". I was disagreeing with someone in another department within our facility one day, and the surgeon I was working with was cracking up laughing because my words said I was unhappy but the tone of voice would have never clued you into that.

    It should become better as your become more familiar with the providers who commonly have patients on your floor, etc. If they ever round early and things aren't too busy it might be a good thing to introduce yourself to them. Some providers (right or wrong) have a stranger danger issue and meeting people/becoming familiar with them helps.

    I start by identifying myself and why I'm calling (same for identifying myself when I answer the phone). Often I have to call through our transfer center and speak to physicians in other facilities on behalf of our surgeons (or until I can pry them away to deal with the call - they'll have me return the call and connect it before they handle any of it). They have *no* way of knowing if I am who I say I am and will likely never know me. I also have my reason for calling clearly lined out - patient ABC in room 123 needs (insert what they need) and why I say that (do they have to have that order, do they have vitals, blood glucose, etc outside their parameters, etc). In my current job I put in orders all the time for ICU placement. Patients who need the change (their procedure goes differently than expected), orders put in incorrectly by residents, etc - I correct them, none of the attendings care. They've all told us that our fixing them is helpful since it otherwise affects patient flow from OR to ICU and holds the OR up.

    Honestly with what the OP described, when questioned if I was actually a nurse - I would simply have asked if the provider preferred to talk to my charge. No reason another RN can't take the call and deal with it. Maybe ask your coworkers how they find dealing with the specific provider to be more successful?

    I think, in general, as people, we all have *days* that what we end up giving is less than our best. It's a reality of being human. It's when it's all the time that it becomes a problem. It's possible that this was that provider's day. If it's repetitive then maybe talk to your manager if coworkers don't have suggestions. Maybe asking for advice on how to handle it would be more productive than complaining because someone hurt your feelings. It's not fair, but not everyone is going to like us, we can't please everyone. In the end if it's really repetitive and demeaning you can report it. It's not necessarily going to change - depends on your facility's culture. In the end you have to be satisfied with how you handled a situation, what you learned, how you grew.
  7. by   1sttime
    Quote from 2016New
    This is the patient. This is the situation. These are the vitals. What would u like to do.

    Nothing more was given. Just straight to what needed to be said.

    Thank you.
    The fact that you are not taking advice, and telling us as a new nurse that you are doing it perfectly... something does not add up. Maybe the MD does not care about the vitals- who knows.

    Either you aren't new, or there might be something else going on.

    Taking some of the advice of these other nurses is not going to get you anywhere. Incident reports go into a drawer for statistics, and HR is there to protect the business.

    Anyway- good luck- it sounds like you have a long road ahead of you.
  8. by   Sour Lemon
    Quote from 2016New
    And thanks for the advice. But it most certainly wasnt the issue. Its just the way the doctor responded, not the way i spoke to him. Regardless, thanks for the advice and ill keep that in mind even more so next time i speak with anyone.
    Actually, the more you write, the more reasonable you sound.
  9. by   Brie Francois
    I've read two comments by you (Sour Lemon, RN) on two different posts and you come across very rude yourself.
    Last edit by Brie Francois on Sep 4, '16
  10. by   Brie Francois
    I would start by complaining to my nurse manager because that sounds like a form of bullying. I also would respectfully and professionally speak up for myself if a doctor spoke to me in such a demeaning fashion. Ultimately though it depends on the culture of your organization...do they have a zero tolerance policy for bullying or do they turn a blind eye and a deaf ear.
  11. by   RicRock
    Had a doctor who would always be an ass on the phone.

    Eventually, when he became hateful, I would say, "For patient safety, I want to make sure I understood you, could your repeat what you just said?"

    The first call, was pretty rough, then he started understanding and was at least tolerable on the phone.
  12. by   2016New
    Quote from 1sttime
    The fact that you are not taking advice, and telling us as a new nurse that you are doing it perfectly... something does not add up. Maybe the MD does not care about the vitals- who knows.

    Either you aren't new, or there might be something else going on.

    Taking some of the advice of these other nurses is not going to get you anywhere. Incident reports go into a drawer for statistics, and HR is there to protect the business.

    Anyway- good luck- it sounds like you have a long road ahead of you.
    I do take advice. Never have i said that i am doing things perfect. I know i have a lot to learn.

    So thanks for your input.
  13. by   2016New
    Regardless of whether or not it was my way of speaking to the doctor... the way he was demeaning to me was unacceptable. And it hasnt just been me he has done this too.

    The point of this post was how to deal with these certain doctors. Do you just deal with it, brush off the way they treat you? Or do something about it?

    Yes, ill accept advice on how to speak with doctors more efficiently seeing how i am a new nurse and dont claim to be doing things perfectly or knowing everything.

    So thanks for any input you have.

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