Annoying Classmate Wants To Be Coworker

Nurses Relations

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Specializes in trauma/emergency, trauma ICU.

Hello,

Looking for a little advice. A few months ago, I started working in the Trauma ICU and ED (at my hospital we are cross-trained for both), and I'm a new grad. I'm loving my job so far, but I was recently contacted by a classmate and former coworker who wants to work on this unit. Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with this, but I tolerate him at best, and at worst, I can't stand him. Let's call him Dylan to protect his identity. We previously worked together in a nursing home about 4 years ago, and Dylan decided to also go into nursing because I was applying to a BSN program at that time. I started working as an EMT, and quit working at the nursing home soon after. But then in nursing school, we had many classes and clinicals together, and I've always dreaded being around Dylan because he is so annoying!!! I'll be standing there charting and Dylan sneaks up on me, asks me if I want to hang out for "old times sake" (we never hung out before, but Dylan seems to think I'm his best friend!!). Anyway, Dylan somehow managed to get an interview on my unit. Dylan said he wants to work there because I'm there, and asked if I would be a reference for the job. I said no, of course, I can't do that. From working with Dylan at the nursing home, I know I don't want to ever work together again. I don't have any evidence that Dylan is a risk to patients, or is mentally unstable (aside from personally experience that I think he's stalking me, but that's not enough), otherwise I would not hesitate to say something to the hiring manager. Any and all advice would be appreciated!

Thanks in advance!

~L_G

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Your classmate hasn't been hired yet, don't stress. Just do your thing and don't worry about what might happen. Although I can relate, I had a similar "weird" classmate who I hope I never cross paths with again.

:nurse:

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Specializes in Hospice.

So far, the info you gave makes him seem more socially awkward than anything else. It might be too early yet to break out the TROs.

On the other hand, you describe quite a few boundary violations, too.

I can see being skeeved by that - when the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, I pay attention.

I agree with watchful waiting - but keep a log and get familiar with local laws and resources, especially lawyers.

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis.

Probably because I recently watched single white female again the situation sounds seriously creepy to me! In reality it's more likely that Dylan is one of the socially awkward sorts that doesn't recognize a boundary being crossed unless it is very clearly spelled out, and maybe not even then. Hopefully he isn't hired onto your unit and the situation never has a chance to become an uncomfortable issue.

Back to my movie induced paranoia though, if he continues to find ways to insert himself into your life be very careful. There may actually be something to be concerned about.

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If he chose his career based on you AND is odd enough to admit that to you along with everything else that has gone on, I definitely don't think you're doing anything wrong by letting your manager know the situation.

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Specializes in ER.

I would let the manager know that you feel uneasy about Dylan, since he has already exhibited boundary issues with you, and now you think it might be escalating.

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Well, I have no opinion about Dylan per se, but little red flags *are* popping up in my head. If for no other reason than it's a good book and gives what I feel is essential knowledge, especially for females, I suggest you read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker. Talks a lot about honoring your gut, threat and risk assessment, stuff like that.

Dylan could just be a socially awkward doofus. However, something is making my alarm bells go off. *shrug* At any rate, I wouldn't give him a reference. Read the book.

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Specializes in LTACH/Stepdown ICU.

Out of curiosity is the OP also a man?

If so then it sounds like one imperfect guy being annoyed by a possible socially-awkward guy.

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Specializes in trauma/emergency, trauma ICU.
Out of curiosity is the OP also a man?

If so then it sounds like one imperfect guy being annoyed by a possible socially-awkward guy.

I'm a guy lol. Sorry I haven't been on, been busy with work and vacation. Dylan ended up not being hired, without me having to say anything to my manager. It all worked out for the best, hopefully our paths won't cross again. Thanks everyone for posting and for the advice. I really appreciate it!

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