Not nursing related, can I post this anyway?(long)

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Specializes in Gen Surg, Peds, family med, geriatrics.

I'm really upset by this and just need to vent. I hope it's allowed here. If it's not, I apologize in advance and the moderators here can delete it.

My soon to be 14 year old son is in 8th grade. He has ADHD and TS and for the first time in quite a few years has a friend to hang out with in school. Unfortunately this kid (same age) also has ADHD and other problems. (you know, birds of a feather) He's not a bad kid, but he can be really pushy at times. That has caused a few minor problems because we are quite strict with our son, but we've always dealt with it.

Earlier today, around 11:30 we got a call from the school. My son and his friend had not returned from break. They couldn't find them anywhere. DH and I searched everywhere for them as well as several of the special ed teachers at the school. We checked everywhere....wooded parks, ravines, stores, malls, the public library and they were no where to be found. After almost 2 hours of that, we returned to the school. We were in the process of organizing to search a bigger area when one of the teachers found them. They were hiding on the very outskirts of the school property, hidden behind a fence and some trees.

My son is not the type of kid who will skip school. In fact, he's a real stickler for rules and routines.

We were taken to a back room in the school where we had a good chat with him. I have to admit I was livid. Then the story came out. Seems his friend refused to take his medication in the morning. During the break a group of kids started harrassing him and he took off. DS followed him and that's when the friend said that he was sick and tired of being picked on, that no one liked him, not even his family and that he was going to kill himself. DS got scared and wouldn't leave him alone, even though he heard the school staff calling for him. He sat there with his friend for almost 2 hours trying to talk him out of killing himself and going back to school. They were spotted by one of the teachers and brought back.

He cried his heart out while he told us that and my heart broke for him. He's simply too young to have to deal with this stuff. DH and I are very understanding and have only talked to him about it. But he will have to suffer the concequences at school for going AWOL. I think the principal will also go easy on him.

My son said that afterwards he was in a room catching up on the work he missed when he overheard his friend's dad in the room next door hollering at him.

He's so upset about this whole thing. I know he made a bad decision by not reporting it right away, but I know that he believed he was doing the right thing.

Poor kid is not saying much but I could see it in his face.....he's so sad.

My mother's heart breaks for him. I wish I could have shielded him from that somehow, but I know it's impossible.

I just thank God they were found safe.

Thanks for letting me vent.

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I'm glad your son was there for his friend. That's what we're here for, each other. Tell him I'm proud he stayed and he should be too.

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First, I want to say how glad I am that they were both found safe. This spring I went through a missing child disaster. The folks here were incredibly supportive.

Yes, you should be proud of him. He broke rules, but he did it for the right reasons. He seems like a very compassionate kid, and that's a great thing. Yes, he'll have to take his punishment, but it sounds.

We all wish we could shield our kids from the harshness life hands them. But all we can do is push them in the right direction and support them when they stumble. It sounds like you're doing just that.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

oh my goodness i am teary reading this...

Honey you have a GOOD GOOD boy on your hands. What an awesome kid. You ought be proud of him. He was doing what he believed right in staying with that poor kid. I would say you are doing RIGHT raising him...he is compassionate and caring and obviously selfless, in light of the trouble he knew he could be in for staying away from class to help this boy out. He needs to be proud of himself.........

I am just glad no one was hurt. Next time, maybe he could signal help? I hope that other boy will be ok....I am worried for him based on what you say here. YOUR boy will be fine I think...what a great kid.

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Your son has a wonderful heart. ;)

Is a support system being formed for the suicidal child? If his dad was yelling at him, he's missed the point entirely.

Congratulations on raising such a remarkable child.

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Leave it to me to play devil's advocate, but ... exactly what was his friends plan of action for this alleged suicidal thought ... did he have a weapon or drugs accesible before your son could have informed a school official? I don't know your son, so only you would know his character enough to know if the story is legit or an excuse to get away with something.

As for his friend - I hope you informed his parents or a school counselor of his alleged suicidal ideations. I agree with you choosing to continue with a punishment for this situation because your son needs to understand that there are repercussions for his actions whether his intentions were good or not. Tell your son he can help his friend by being a good example for him, which includes abiding by the rules.

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They're kids. The son is way to young to be asking those questions. He hasn't had the benefit of psych classes. He likely doesn't know what to ask or what to do. He was frightened and doing what he thought was right.

I know a ten-year-old who marched into his house one day--on a holiday--announced he was going to kill himself, marched up to his room, and hanged himself to death. Whether kids are just being dramatic or not, they can and do kill themselves. They don't necessarily announce how they plan to do it.

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Good for your son. No, he hasn't had psych classes and doesn't know the "right" way to do things...but you must be a great mom because he certainly knew in his gut that he shouldn't leave this kid. He did the RIGHT thing...whether or not it wasn't the "right" thing according to convention and rules. I'd praise my kids if they did the same. Sometimes rules are simply not the first concern.

Now...I'm concerned about the friend. He needs help. I have no idea how this works but could a school psychiatrist intervene and get the kid some help?? He is definitely a danger to himself...and the way things go in schools anymore, he could be a danger to others as well. I'm not saying he's a bad kid...but it sounds like he is a sick kid and needs some qualified mental health intervention. There was a 9 year old in this area that committed suicide a few years back. I had a nurse tell me the other day that the youngest she'd ever seen was a 3 year old who tried to hang himself from the swingset after seeing his mother try and kill herself repeatedly.

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This post makes me so sad. I feel for you. I really hope things work out for your son, but he's not the one I'm worried about. He has a caring mother. The other little boy is the one I'm worried about. He has NO support system. If a child can't feel comfortable at home, where can he feel comfortable? The father yelling at him shows that he does not understand his son's disability. If that were my child I would have hugged him and given him comfort. His son wanted to commit suicide and he yells at him? It makes me want to cry.

No child should get picked on in school. I partly blame the teachers and the school system for not watching out for this type of thing. If the teacher would have been paying attention the boy wouldn't have gotten picked on and perhaps the whole incident wouldn't have happened.

I hope that you let your child stay friends with the other little boy. I know that's a big step because the other little boy seems to be a negative influence, but your son seems to be all he has. Perhaps you could schedule a few outings or sleepovers for them. You could be a mentor to that suicidal little boy and show him what a healthy home environment can be like. You could show him that you care about him. I don't know if this is possible in your current situation, just giving suggestions.

We can make a difference, one child at a time.

I wish you the best.

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Specializes in OB.

My other suggestion to add to the above would be to try to reach out to this other child's parents. It sounds as though they may also be in need of help. Perhaps just a phone call or a note passing along the name of a support group or coping strategies you have found useful might open a door to them, helping both them and the child.

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Specializes in ICU.

If you need any information on youth suicide there is a BIG goverement push over here to address it I just googled youth suicide australia and came up with dozens including

http://www.aifs.gov.au/ysp/

http://www.mentalhealth.gov.au/sp/index.htm

http://www.hereforlife.org.au/

http://www.childsafe.net.au/SCOUTS/scysp1.html

http://www.aifs.org.au/ysp/pubsmenu.html

I hope these help you.

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I think you guys have missed my point completely. I was not suggesting that her son play therapist and (duh) I realize he has not had Psych classes. Do you guys teach your kids to turn to a trusted adult in a crises situation? Obviously she's an awesome parent for utilizing this as a learning experience for her son.

The most heart breaking death announcement to a family I've done involved a 16 year old who was shot while attempting to take a gun from his friend attempting suicide ... so take it for what its worth.

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