Not giving up

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I've been having a rough time lately. I'm pretty much a new grad and I just started out at a new hospital after being at my first one for about two months. I didn't leave my first hospital for any really, terrible reason other than I knew the unit wasn't for me. Well I like my new hospital, but it's been hard adjusting. Sometimes I feel like I'm starting all over again and that's really frustrating. For the most part people have been helpful and encouraging (except for a few here and there), and I love my patients. I just get down on myself a lot, dwell on my mistakes even more, and generally find it hard to stop thinking about work when I'm not at work (but I'm getting better at that). Last week I was beating myself up for a med mistake, but my preceptor and everyone helped me with it and the patient was ok. Today I had a talk with my nurse manager who is an all-around awesome person who told me that I was doing ok, and she told me about how it was hard for her when she first came to my hospital too. I thought about a card she sent to me a couple of weeks ago that said, "Don't ever change!" It kind of got me thinking that being who I am as a nurse (which is happy and totally honest) is totally ok. At some point over the past few days I was thinking about the possiblity that maybe this whole thing wasn't working out and I wasn't cut out for nursing, but after thinking about how much I truly enjoy being with my patients, and the fact that I might actually be a pretty good nurse, I realized that I'm not going to give up. One more of my happy thoughts is patient of mine who came in with a terrible infection in his arm. It was bad and he felt so terrible. He had a lot of other issues too but every day he got a little better and then one day when I was in the neighboring unit and he wasn't my patient, he was walking around and he stopped by to say hello to me! He couldn't even get up out of bed when I first had him. That made me one happy little nurse. :) So this is a lot more Mr.Rogers than I usually am, but I just wanted to share. Don't give up my fellow first year nurses. Our patients need us!

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I feel exactly how you feel....there are days that I feel like maybe nursing is not for me and that maybe I became a nurse for the wrong reasons...but when I see the smiles in my patients face and how they interact with you when you give them the utmost care they deserve, I feel good.....Before I was let go to be on my own, I was told by my preceptors and every other nurses I got to talk to they told me that eventhough I'm on my own, I will have many resources and support (such as co-nurses or charge nurses and even directors) but then again I found out that not everbody will be there for you. I have encountered nurses who has the illness called "RNitis" and instead of helping you out they will snap at you or give you sarcastic comments. I guess this is how it really is and you just have to know who to go to for help and who "not" to go to.....Tomorrow, I'm going back to work and I just found out that my preceptor will be our charge nurse and I got excited because I just love her...she's the nicest!

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I think that it is with most jobs that you have to give it a chance. Whether it is nursing or whatever, one goes through different phases. You pretty much start with the "honeymoon" period which is exciting because it is new and different, then you get into that period which you find yourself going through growing pains, the time that most people feel ready to just chuck it and change careers altogether (some people can't get past this point), and then if one gives it a little time, everything seems to come together. This happens no matter what your experience level. There are many nurses that become comfortable in their old job, and are looking for that new and exciting feeling again, so they transfer to another department, and again, they will go through the three phases.

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Specializes in Med/Surge.

Glad you didn't give up!! The patients are sometimes the only thing that keeps me going on some of those rough days on the floor. I really love it when they come back once out of the hospital to see you and they are doing so great!! It always makes me feel like I have chosen the right road and they usually come around when I need to be reminded of that most!!

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Specializes in ICU/CCU/MICU/SICU/CTICU.

As a new nurse, there will be days that you feel overwhelmed, unsure, and totally doubt yourself. That is all normal. When I changed jobs, I too felt that way and I have been a nurse for almost 12 yrs.

Nursing is so totally different than any other thing that you have ever done or will ever do. Its hard work, there are times when you are not respected, its emotionally draining at times. But the smile on the patients face, a simple thank you from family, and the knowledge that you can make a difference in the patient is all worth it. It takes generally a good year of working to start to feel comfortable in nursing. You will learn new things daily from now until the time you retire. Thats what makes it great.

Take it one day at a time, constantly ask questions, remember the only stupid question is the one you dont ask. Come here for support, answers and just to vent. We are all here, and Im sure that there are some that will have been through whatever it is you are going through.

You made it this far, you can do this!

Wishing you the best.

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Specializes in aged -adolescent.

I am so glad you're not giving up. There's nothing as special as a former patient who comes over to see you because you were here last time she was a patient (even though just a student. I seemed to have been a student forever, finally RN now). Things like that make your day. This site for new nurses is a godsend and I have learnt so much. I want to be capable, confident, safe and always have time to acknowledge my patients needs. Above all else, I want to know I can make a difference. Is this realistic?

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My first nursing job was a horrible experience. I found another one, and have been there 4 months, but still had doubts about my abilities. A few weeks ago I went out to get my check and the ADON pulled me aside. I was like "uh oh" LOL, but she pulled me into her office just to tell me what an asset I have been to the facility :) That really gave me a confidence boost. I'm glad I stuck it out, b/c I was scared to death to start a new job after the way the first one went. I was ready to just quit and not go back to nursing ever. Now I can't imagine NOT having the job that I do.

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Specializes in Peds - playing with the kids.

it's hard to be a new nurse. it takes a long time to be comfortable where you are. i'm glad you are not giving up, because everyone has those same feelings.

believe it or not, it will get better.

hugs to you!!!:icon_hug:

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hang in there! nursing is a hard job but sooooooo personally rewarding. there is nothing like making a real difference. i believe that nurses who leave the profession never were committed to our profession. continue to grow and accept responsible to mentor the next nurse. not everyone was meant to be a nurse, it is more than the pay.

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Specializes in aged -adolescent.

all people fall...the great ones get back up!... cardiotrans. i just love this. thanks. all i could see when i did fall was the number of people who'd know i had stuffed up. it just made me more determined to get there.

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