I work in pediatrics because I love kids and I moved to the NICU because I love babies however, the lack of parental involvement is shocking and frustrating.
I am leaving the bedside for good and one of the reasons is because I didn’t get into this profession to take care of the parents. Yes the NICU can be a scary place and I’ve heard every excuse/explanation in the book about parental stress, fear, etc. but at the end of the day you’re still a parent and you need to be there for your child.
I can’t be the only NICU nurse who feels like a nanny when I’m changing a diaper on a room air kid while their parent sits on their phone. I also think it’s ridiculous that I often have to prompt parents to care for their child. If your baby eats every 3 hours, I shouldn’t have to prompt you to do that. And my favorite it when parents ask me to wake them up every 3 hours. Like grow up, be accountable, set an alarm and take your role as a parent seriously.
I am not trying to get out of doing any work but I don’t work in a birthing hospital, I have no interest in L&D and I guess I struggle with parents relying so heavily on the nurse to provide what seems to be basic infant care when they are at the bedside and seem disinterested in participating.
Are there any other NICU nurses that share this frustration? Do you work at hospitals that have care partnership agreements with parents to get them more involved?
As a NICU nurse who has taken care of quite a few patients for the first 11-12 months of their lives and observed how their parents care for and interact with them I can make a few general comments about some of your comments.[....]
I don't think your take is unreasonable, personally. I trust that you have seen many, many patients and families and you are here to discuss a distinction.
I do agree with the opposing thoughts that others have shared, but at the end of the day they're a lot like when I hear people say that a patient is having the 'worst day of their life' because they are in the ED. Well, the fact is, some are having the worst day of their life and some are not; some are just having another day, mostly doing what they usually do. Finding oneself in a situation (e.g. in a particular place) is not the one and only explanation for everything.
I think it hurts nurses to essentially use "well they're in the ED" as a reason/excuse for everything. It's basically saying the nurse is the one with the problem, the one who is looking at things wrongly, as if what they are seeing/experiencing is not real. With regard to other inappropriate behaviors (not specifically what you are talking about but a similar concept)--No, people do not throw hot coffee or urinals or behave in other inappropriate ways because they're in the ED and they're having the worst day of their life. Lots of people have terrible, scary, horrible, gut-wrenching, life-wrecking days without abusing others. LOTS. Many, many, many.
And then there are the ones who do abuse others--when they're having a decent day and then also when there is an upset in their day.
And I think that general idea is the thing you're talking about.
I do think that regardless of all of that, self-reflection brings growth, sometimes helps us to see things another way and also sometimes allows us to figure out ways that we can help differently than what we were doing previously. And sometimes that brings relief even if it can't change the fact that people are people.
Specializes in New Critical care NP, Critical care, Med-surg, LTC.
12 hours ago, JKL33 said:
Lots of people have terrible, scary, horrible, gut-wrenching, life-wrecking days without abusing others. LOTS. Many, many, many.
100% yes! There is a balance between being understanding of the stress that people could be under in an unknown medical situation, and excusing absolutely inexcusable behavior. Patients and their family members are still human beings, and some human beings are just not very nice.
As a parent in the PICU right now. I hope you quit your job. Months in the hospital, with a toddler at home. I never get any sleep. So you have to actually do your job that you get PAID for? What do you think your job is?? Because it's not to play fetch that's for sure. Poor baby, you gotta work and do the job you signed up for and go home to your bed at night while we stay in the hospital on the couch drained?? Sadly you're not the only one with your mentality . You see, if I wanted to make y'all work that bad I'd just ❤️leave❤️ then you can't complain.
And to shut down that I'm not involved or know my babies care. Hospital has it documented and proof over months that I feed my baby best even better than the feeding therapist. I can get her to eat the most out of every single nurse doctor and specialist there ❤️ I do not sit in a hospital exhausted not even wanting to be there to have you pawn your job off on me. I can give meds, check vitals weight everything in my own home. I'm here due to doctors orders of observation. This is y'all's house and I'm just a guest. This is the only time we are able to get a break. But you complain about doing your job??
JKL33
7,038 Posts
I don't think your take is unreasonable, personally. I trust that you have seen many, many patients and families and you are here to discuss a distinction.
I do agree with the opposing thoughts that others have shared, but at the end of the day they're a lot like when I hear people say that a patient is having the 'worst day of their life' because they are in the ED. Well, the fact is, some are having the worst day of their life and some are not; some are just having another day, mostly doing what they usually do. Finding oneself in a situation (e.g. in a particular place) is not the one and only explanation for everything.
I think it hurts nurses to essentially use "well they're in the ED" as a reason/excuse for everything. It's basically saying the nurse is the one with the problem, the one who is looking at things wrongly, as if what they are seeing/experiencing is not real. With regard to other inappropriate behaviors (not specifically what you are talking about but a similar concept)--No, people do not throw hot coffee or urinals or behave in other inappropriate ways because they're in the ED and they're having the worst day of their life. Lots of people have terrible, scary, horrible, gut-wrenching, life-wrecking days without abusing others. LOTS. Many, many, many.
And then there are the ones who do abuse others--when they're having a decent day and then also when there is an upset in their day.
And I think that general idea is the thing you're talking about.
I do think that regardless of all of that, self-reflection brings growth, sometimes helps us to see things another way and also sometimes allows us to figure out ways that we can help differently than what we were doing previously. And sometimes that brings relief even if it can't change the fact that people are people.
Take care ~