Newly Weds and Nursing School

FlorenceNtheMachine · May 17, 2013

Congrats!!! I was in a similar situation. This is what we fought about: anything when I was upset. Haha! But my husband was very understanding, and I learned to apologize with actions and words.

My husband helped me study, and it made us closer. Make sure dinner is taken care of one way or the other. Make sure the household duties are settled between both of you. Make sure you take one day off and spend it with him.

Yes you can do that, I made mostly A's and had a date night most weeks. Nursing school was way easier on my marriage than nursing!

Good luck and congrats.

TWebster24 · May 17, 2013

Thank you so much!! He cooks dinner (he loves to cook) so that won't be a problem! He's very understanding and I think we will be just fine I just have to learn how to control my stress and not lash out on him for something that's bothering me with school!

lhflanurseNP, APRN · May 17, 2013

I have been married for over 30 years. 15 years ago my husband returned to school for his MD...he and I were apart for almost a year before I was able to move and join him. Now it is my turn...going for my FNP. It is easier when the other person is in the healthcare field because they do understand a little better. As suggested, make sure that you take a day for the two of you. My husband and I have settled on Friday nights and all day Saturday. I am doing my school online, and am fortunate enough to be able to stay home so I can spread the chores out throughout the week. Congratulations on finding your match and good luck. All marriages take work, it sounds like he will be very supportive of you.

TWebster24 · May 20, 2013

Thanks so much! It's so exciting but I'm nervous all at the same time!

Munchkin8516 · May 20, 2013

My fiance and I are about to be married this August and we'll be both starting school in the fall. He'll be working on his prereqs part-time for the Medical Radiologic Technology program at the technical school across the street and I'll be full time working on my nursing school pre-reqs. With both nursing school and the rad tech program being two years, we'll be graduating hopefully the same year. We're excited about it!

Lyndsea · May 20, 2013

I went back to school for my pre-reqs a few months after my husband and I got married. When I actually started nursing school (Accelerated RN program) My husband was really supportive. Fast forward a year later and I have to admit things get rough. It's tough when I can't go to family functions because of clinical or a test coming up. I think his family and my family thing I am exaggerating how much work this is- that I am avoiding them!

I think that talking to him, giving him a heads up when I was really feeling stressed helped him understand. Some days I was really moody and he had no idea why. I've gained weight and stopped shopping, I am def less glamorous than I was before! But, as someone at the end of my nursing school journey- we both think the sacrifice was worth it!

JenTheSchoolRN, BSN, RN · May 20, 2013

I started a direct-entry MSN program 4 months after my now husband and I started dating. And then we got married just after I completed my RN coursework and I took (and passed) my NCLEX three weeks after our wedding. (Everyone told me I was crazy!) All I can say is it was very hard, but it is possible.

The arguments my husband and I had the six months pre-wedding when the RN portion of the program was in full gear and studying and clinical took up almost all my time were always about him feeling neglected. He was and still is very, very supportive, but also needed to know I valued that support. Sometimes, I'll admit, I was overworked and frustrated and well, I was not fun to be around nor showed him that I appreciated him. I finally made it work by scheduling 1.5 days "off" from school a week where we would do something as a couple and just appreciate each other. But in order to do that, he'd have to let me go full steam-ahead the rest of the week.

And then after getting my RN, I slowed down to part-time for the reminder of my MSN coursework. It was a decision I made for both myself and him. Now I work full time, have class once a week and have time for us. School schedule may get crazy again once I start my NP clinicals, but I know we will make given that we've gotten through it before.

It is worth it, though!

shmassrn · May 26, 2013

Congratulations!!! My husband and I got married in between semesters when I was in nursing school. I think no matter what you're doing, the first year of marriage can be challenging and is quite an adjustment. Communication is so important. Be clear about how you're feeling and why - e.g. try not to be short with your husband if you're really stressed about school. Express the feeling and accept the support! Best wishes!

ruralnurse84 · Jun 1, 2013

My husband and I have spent the majority of our not even two year marriage apart. We spent more time together before we got married than after. He went off to school 3 hours away for 6 months only coming home on weekends and then I started school only 3 months after he got done in a different place. He then moved to a different state 9 hours away from me and I still have one more year left of my ADN program. He's not in the medical field but any time I mention wanting to quit because I can't stand being away from him he tells me to stick with it. It's hard but as long as your future hubby is supportive you can definitely make it work. If I can make it work living so far from my husband, you can definitely make it work with him there. Just make sure to keep communication lines between you open and you will do fine. Good luck on your program!