New nurse blues

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I am nearing the end of my "orientation" program in my first RN job. The first two weeks were spent observing various departments and then we went to the floors to orient. A month later and all the preceptors are tired of having new grads ask questions. "Didn't you people learn ANYTHING in nursing school?" Sure we did, we spent a gazillion hours on care plans, which are not used much here. Right now I am absolutely hating this hospital job. After a six week orientation we are supposed to be full-fledged RN's, ready to do anything! My feeling right now is that I am on a sinking ship. Never in my life have I felt or been made to feel incompetent, but I sure do now. I know I should say **I CAN do this** and so every day I say that mantra over and over on my way to work. But when I get there, and try to do everything for 4-5 patients as well as new admits and computer charting on a very user-unfriendly system, I am not sure if I really will be able to do this. Is being nervous and having a constant feeling of cold fear and dread normal for a new RN or have I made a wrong turn in life by going to nursing school?

Specializes in GI, OR, Oncology.

Wow - thank you so much for the good suggestions. I am new to this forum, and a recent RN grad. I can't get enough of this site! I've been struggling with the roller coaster emotions since starting orientation. I will use your suggestions to help me get through this. I'm on the verge of tears half the time (or more) and keep feeling like the old saying is, sadly, very true "nurses eat their young"... I had not expected this to be true, especially since I work in a smaller hospital where I already worked as an LVN. I'm tired of feeling stupid, incompetent and sick to my stomach most of the time. I know this will pass. I know things will get better. I know that at some point, I will be happy that I stuck with it.

I thank you for the kind advice.

ORSmurf - new OR RN

Hang in there newbies. Your preceptors and docs are forgetting to give you the one thing you need most right now--a little confidence. Here are a few suggestions to help you get through this anxious spell.

Keep a small notebook handy and write one or two things each day that you did well, that you remembered, that you are proud of. When someone gives your undies a twist, read the notebook and remind yourself that you are a capable nurse and decent human being.

Stay in touch with classmates and fellow orientees, but resist the urge to give in to a wail fest. Try to encourage each other and talk about why you wanted to become nurses in the first place.

Try to focus on the big picture. You are there to take care of patients who need more than just good technical skills. They need someone with a heart as well as a brain. Straighten rumpled bedding while doing an assessment. Hold a hand while counting respirations. Listen between the lines. Connection heals a world of hurts and not just for the patients.

Put the books away and go for a walk. Watch a tear-jerker movie, preferably with popcorn or chocolate. Cuddle a kid or a puppy. Take a hot bath with a good book. Buy yourself flowers. Burn a CD of favorites.

Keep your current situation in perspective. Much of what you are enduring right now is not really about you. Seasoned nurses get grumpy when their feet hurt, when the unit is short staffed, when they have crap going on at home, and, yes, when the newbie asks yet another question. In reality, you guys are lightening rods for complaints, in part, because as the new kids on the block, you aren't expected to fight back. I'm not saying you should respond in kind. Just refuse to personalize the carping. If you need to learn something, do so, but don't absorb negative messages that make you doubt your career choice or your right to take up space on the planet.

One last thing. Someday when you have more experience under your belts, please volunteer to precept someone else. If you can recall how raw and scared you feel right now, you'll be kind and fabulous coaches to a future crop of newbies.

I wish you all well.

Miranda

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Hang in there newbies. Your preceptors and docs are forgetting to give you the one thing you need most right now--a little confidence. Here are a few suggestions to help you get through this anxious spell.

Keep a small notebook handy and write one or two things each day that you did well, that you remembered, that you are proud of. When someone gives your undies a twist, read the notebook and remind yourself that you are a capable nurse and decent human being.

Stay in touch with classmates and fellow orientees, but resist the urge to give in to a wail fest. Try to encourage each other and talk about why you wanted to become nurses in the first place.

Try to focus on the big picture. You are there to take care of patients who need more than just good technical skills. They need someone with a heart as well as a brain. Straighten rumpled bedding while doing an assessment. Hold a hand while counting respirations. Listen between the lines. Connection heals a world of hurts and not just for the patients.

Put the books away and go for a walk. Watch a tear-jerker movie, preferably with popcorn or chocolate. Cuddle a kid or a puppy. Take a hot bath with a good book. Buy yourself flowers. Burn a CD of favorites.

Keep your current situation in perspective. Much of what you are enduring right now is not really about you. Seasoned nurses get grumpy when their feet hurt, when the unit is short staffed, when they have crap going on at home, and, yes, when the newbie asks yet another question. In reality, you guys are lightening rods for complaints, in part, because as the new kids on the block, you aren't expected to fight back. I'm not saying you should respond in kind. Just refuse to personalize the carping. If you need to learn something, do so, but don't absorb negative messages that make you doubt your career choice or your right to take up space on the planet.

One last thing. Someday when you have more experience under your belts, please volunteer to precept someone else. If you can recall how raw and scared you feel right now, you'll be kind and fabulous coaches to a future crop of newbies.

I wish you all well.

Miranda

I havent responded about being a new nurse, but I READ ALMOST EVERYDAY. I just wanted to say THANKS!!!! because as a new nurses we are targets; but I guess I am a little stronger because I was in the military before deciding to become a nurse

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i really understand what you and the other nurses are feeling, after work friday, i was in tears and told my husband and kids i was not going back. not because i think it's too hard, because i expected it to be tough at first, but the negative attitude of some staff members are so discouraging, and it really hurts when you are giving your all,and doing your best, to hear and know people are being negative . we are in a transitional phase, well i got it out of my system after my 10 year old said "mama, you work really hard in school and you earn a right to be at that hospital, don't let anyone run you away" ,i know it's hard, but i also know we have it in us to be great nurses. so i'll be there bright and early monday morning at it again. good luck and thank all of you, these posting really touch my heart and help me through tough times.

God bless,

mzkede

Well you a have a smart son. He could not have said it better. GOOD LUCK and dont let them nasty nurses run you anywhere until you are good and ready to go.

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Oh i so understand. i have been on orientation for about 2 months, and am getting off in 2 weeks . i work a stepdown unit. I am still trying to find my routine. if you have any help , let me know. Its so hectic during the day, we have heart cath patients coming back and many other scenarios. i feel sometimes im being pushed to my limits. In 2 weeks i will be on my own and working days. im scared because days are extremely busy with heart caths, cabg patients , all the dr, and orders and just everything else. friday i had a rough day , a certain doc was rude as hell. i will keep my head up but i am nervous of the day thing. i work 3 or 4 12's and then off . if anyone has suggestions for a routine let me know. i have had several preceptors so i feel as if ive been thrown to the wolves. gotta go the little one is calling. Please help.

It is busy those days. Personally, I would never work days (I have been a nurse for 20 years). However, if it works for you, great! As far as the rude doctor goes.....stand up tall and do NOT allow anyone (physician or not) to be rude to you. Feel free to say, "excuse me, but I do not appreciate the tone of voice you are using with me." Stand your ground and do NOT back down. It usually works. I understand that you are new and scared. However, speaking to you in that tone of voice will not do this doctor any good either, especially if he is intimidating you. You cannot function and therefor he doesn't get what he wants, either. Remember, doctors are just people like the rest of us and rudeness is not acceptable from anyone in a professional workplace. I would also find out what your facility's harassment policy is and go from there.

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Specializes in OB, ortho/neuro, home care, office.
i have been in l&d for 10 months now. i had 6 wk orientation and after day 2 i hated it. it got worse and worse. each day i cried. i was always missing some dot over an i or my face wasnt smiling like barbie. and i thought i'd never figure out all the damn policies and paperwork and personalities. i still haven't. the work gets easier but the negative feelings haven't gone yet. i have some wonderful nurses who are very supportive and some just eat their young. it's tough knowing that your every move and breath is up for scrutinization everyone tells me it will get better. some days it is and some days it isnt. just do your best and know in your heart that you are doing the best you can. don't measure yourself or your nursing by others standard. sometimes i wish i could take my own advice. i'll pray for you.

I too can relate. In my previous posts I have mentioned I work in a small town L&D/Nursery/PP, float to med/surg. In my 4th week of orientation I had a coworker corner me in a room and scream at me for 30 minutes over something that had happened 5 days previously. I held my ground and told her she had no right to speak to me that way. The fact is I did make a mistake, but after I made it, I went straight to my supervisor and told her about it, and asked what I could've done different. This other nurse I guess just felt she had a high horse to be on and went off on me. She knew I was a new grad, that didn't matter. So I feel your pain.

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I too can relate. In my previous posts I have mentioned I work in a small town L&D/Nursery/PP, float to med/surg. In my 4th week of orientation I had a coworker corner me in a room and scream at me for 30 minutes over something that had happened 5 days previously. I held my ground and told her she had no right to speak to me that way. The fact is I did make a mistake, but after I made it, I went straight to my supervisor and told her about it, and asked what I could've done different. This other nurse I guess just felt she had a high horse to be on and went off on me. She knew I was a new grad, that didn't matter. So I feel your pain.

It's good that you held your ground. I hope you had a preceptor to speak with about this so that whatever your mistake was, you were able to understand how not to have it happen again. You were right to hold your ground. NO one should have to allow someone to treat them that way.

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Specializes in OB, ortho/neuro, home care, office.
It's good that you held your ground. I hope you had a preceptor to speak with about this so that whatever your mistake was, you were able to understand how not to have it happen again. You were right to hold your ground. NO one should have to allow someone to treat them that way.

No preceptor - at least none that was designated to me.

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No preceptor - at least none that was designated to me.

From reading your post, I have the idea that you are only 4 weeks into an orientation (as a new grad) and you do NOT have a preceptor? Who, then, is showing you how to be a nurse?

Maybe I am cazy, but most new grads are assigned to someone to shadow so they can learn what actual bedside nursing is all about?

Cn you elaborate on your situation? Thanks.

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:)

I am nearing the end of my "orientation" program in my first RN job. The first two weeks were spent observing various departments and then we went to the floors to orient. A month later and all the preceptors are tired of having new grads ask questions. "Didn't you people learn ANYTHING in nursing school?" Sure we did, we spent a gazillion hours on care plans, which are not used much here. Right now I am absolutely hating this hospital job. After a six week orientation we are supposed to be full-fledged RN's, ready to do anything! My feeling right now is that I am on a sinking ship. Never in my life have I felt or been made to feel incompetent, but I sure do now. I know I should say **I CAN do this** and so every day I say that mantra over and over on my way to work. But when I get there, and try to do everything for 4-5 patients as well as new admits and computer charting on a very user-unfriendly system, I am not sure if I really will be able to do this. Is being nervous and having a constant feeling of cold fear and dread normal for a new RN or have I made a wrong turn in life by going to nursing school?

I feel your pain. You didn't make a wrong turn, but the preceptors need to remember where they came from. NO ONE pops out of nursing school and knows everything. We ALL learn every day of our lives. Good luck to you. Keep your chin up. And someday, when you are the preceptor and you have an overwhelmed new RN or LPN on your shirt-tails, remember what you wrote here. :)

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Specializes in OB, ortho/neuro, home care, office.
From reading your post, I have the idea that you are only 4 weeks into an orientation (as a new grad) and you do NOT have a preceptor? Who, then, is showing you how to be a nurse?

Maybe I am cazy, but most new grads are assigned to someone to shadow so they can learn what actual bedside nursing is all about?

Cn you elaborate on your situation? Thanks.

Hmmmm.... where to start. I graduated in May, started in OB end of May. Took boards early June, passed boards. Continued working in OB. Basically in OB I followed someone around asked lots of questions of whoever was available. In OB it's not too bad, there's generally only one other RN besides myself, but I have found you can learn just as much from and LPN which there is usually only 1 of in OB. I pretty much stayed strictly in OB for the first month. Then I branched out into med/surg, or floated as it's better known. The first day I demanded to only follow as I had never even been on the floor before. The second day, I took 2 patients on my own. I guess I did have a preceptor, but I never saw her unless I sought her out. She didn't follow me or anything. From that point forward I didn't have anyone looking in on me. There may have been someone designated to be my preceptor, but until the last time I was in med/surg, I never was sure who that was. The last time I was in med/surg I was actually half way through my shift when I was asking one of my million questions of another staff nurse. That's when I found out she was my preceptor. Funny thing about that, looking back, at that point she started following me around. That day I wasn't feeling well, so that could've been it. I don't know. I made a med mistake that day. It didn't have any adverse affects on the patient (thank goodness) but it was made. It was hard for me to accept because it was my first mistake.

I return to work tomorrow after a few days off. I am bothered by the fact that every time it's the night before a work day I start feeling anxious. I've been doing this for almost 3 months now. Is this normal? I have a history of anxiety, but it was under control until shortly after the one nurse yelled at me. Then it started slipping again. Some of me wonders if I shouldn't maybe switch to a LTC facility because it won't be as distressing to me, but another part of me really wants to stick this out as an OB, even if I am scared to death of making another mistake in med/surg. I am also a holistic practitioner. So I know plenty of relaxation exercises. But when my anxiety strikes it strikes fast and hard. *sigh* I just don't know what to do. I feel so incompetent. Although many have told me that I catch on faster than many they have seen, I just don't have the confidence that I should. Any suggestions?

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I realize this is an old post---but I am glad I stumbled across it! I'm glad I'm not the only one out there that has these fears! Hopefully things get better with time .... b/c I feel nursing school didn't teach nearly enough and I too feel overwhelmed. :sniff: Trying to take it day by day and learn as much as I can.

:typingabby

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No one could have felt that insecure feeling more. I went to a country school and our clinical were in a bogus hospital. I didn't have a clue. That was 3 yrs ago. I have my wits about me now and also, if you look insecure...the vultures will devour you. Let's face it....no one walks into their first job knowing what you should know for what is before you. My God....it does't make sense. I got written up for giving a Tylenol before the 4 hour mark. Change of shifts, etc. and I didn't realize it was given....You know...that just shows me what other nurses are all about. It wasn't on report either....but whatever, I quit there for idiotic things like that. Don't worry...it does and will get better. The only thing is you will eventually have to stick up for yourself. Study every night about what you didn't know that day. There is a little handbook on proceedures...that can help. It does and will come together. GOod luck I will say a little prayer for you tonight....

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