Unfortunately, recent circumstances led me to resigning from my current position and leaving the company I have been at for the past 7 years. These circumstances had greatly impacted my mental health in a negative way, so it was a choice that had to be made.
I have just recently received a couple of job offers. One is a clinical manager position in a SNF that is about 20-25 minutes away from where I live. Drive isn't bad when the whether is nice, but could be a problem in the Winter. I would be working with several people that I have previously had a positive working relationship with. It would be a pay increase of $3/hr and would be hourly vs salary despite being a management position. On-call would be reduced from 7 days in a row to one weekend a month. However, this facility is currently being run by the state department of health. It's also not clear whether or not a retirement plan would be available as part of their benefits. I would also be primarily located on a LTC unit and would prefer the short-term rehab side. Facility has a nursing-home like feel to it. I would be using the EHR that I am familiar with. Likely, I would probably have to move to the town this facility is located in. The housing is affordable, but is also located in zones with high flood ratings. I have already started paperwork, but haven't officially accepted the job description.
The other is a SNF clinical manager position that is in a facility about 8-10 minutes away from my home. The location is definitely more ideal as it would not require driving on the highway during the Winter months. I have not worked with any of the employees previously, but did get good vibes during both my first and second interviews. I feel like these would be people that I could work well with. Facility is more home-like than nursing-home like feel. Would require learning a new EHR; however, I am quite competent in learning new computer programs so I'm not too worried about this. I would also be in the rehab area of the building, which would be more of my interest. The pay would be a 60 cent decrease from my previous position. It would also be salary vs. hourly. On-call would be Friday through Sunday instead of just Saturday and Sunday. The facility does have a well-established benefit plan with good insurance and a retirement account available. Overall, I feel that employment may be more stable due to it not being under the control of the state department.
I was looking forward to working with some old friends and feel bad about having started some paperwork, but I am feeling that the second option may overall be better logistic wise.
Thank heavens I was praying for this day. So glad to see your out of there! Hey, do something different. What about home health or hospice? Then you're really only responsible for yourself.
Honestly, this is probably the worst thing to have happened to me. This is just proof that my coworker is once and for all "The Beloved Queen Bee"
Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
SilverBells said:
Honestly, this is probably the worst thing to have happened to me. This is just proof that my coworker is once and for all "The Beloved Queen Bee"
There you go again. Focussing on the negative. You yourself admitted you were in your own words failing at the job. A wise man once said "When you gie yourself over to resentment and anger you shout yourself off from the sunlight of the soul."
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
Silverbells, not discounting that this other nurse may be a "Queen Bee" but from your own words, you were doing very poorly at your other job. That is nobody else's fault.
Honestly, this is probably the worst thing to have happened to me. This is just proof that my coworker is once and for all "The Beloved Queen Bee"
I think this may well be one of the best things to happen, a blessing in disguise! You finally left that employer and it is about time. You have had so many complaints and problems over the years, as well as being overworked insane amounts, sometimes 20 hours in a day on salary, no less, and no pay raise for years.
You can't see clearly, I think you are caught up in a trauma bond and trying to prove yourself against all odds. Truth is that place was taking advantage of you for years! All that unpaid labor, your life was passing you by, while you were saying how you were alone and wanted a personal life and family. Well how could that even happen when you were working all those insane hours! If you had been paid hourly, you'd at least have been paid a ton of OT and have lots of money in the bank. Instead they took advantage of you in your need to prove yourself.
Let it go. Start fresh, take the hourly job where you get paid for every minute. You deserve it! Many nursing jobs tend to be abusive and when you come from a background of abuse it feels familiar, you fall into that pattern and don't see anything wrong when you are being mistreated and feeling scapegoated. That is what you are really saying. You were treated as the scapegoat, outcast, and not the Queen Bee, which is the same thing you have experienced in your family growing up where you said your parents always put you down for others who were put on a pedestal.
Break the pattern. Move out of your parents house. Get away from that abusive climate. Set yourself free. You are living under that cloud of feeling less than, the scapegoat, starting from your family. How can you be happy and free while living there, absorbing their false, negative beliefs and attitudes about you!
When I went to nursing school, only my grandma believed in me, my parents thought I was just wasting time on school. When I graduated and started working as a nurse and even passed boards, and back then you worked before you got the board notice so you would lose your job if you failed and a couple coworkers around me failed. But I succeeded and my dad hatefully said it didn't mean anything, it didn't prove I was going to be a good nurse! The difference between me and you is that I recognized he was toxic and wrong and moved out ASAP soon after HS. I didn't stay in that environment of verbal abuse, yelling and sometimes physical abuse, although that stopped when I was a teen and able to fight back!
But that tendency to be a scapegoat can still follow you around and you have to break out of that mindset. There is so much more knowledge about abuse, narcissistic abuse and even free therapy on YouTube. When I was young that wasn't common knowledge or available. I only took a psychology class for nursing requirements and then realized I needed therapy and it opened my eyes. I found a good therapist who helped me thru nursing school and the first couple years of working as a nurse. I still learn more and am open to growing and healing more thru all the free therapy on YouTube. I know I sent you some links to good sites in the past that could help you.
I'll mention some good sites for anyone dealing with trauma in their life or background. Dr Ramani, Crappy Childhood Fairy, Inner Integration, and Therapy in a Nutshell. Also mention Dr Gabor Mate who has written a book about trauma, The Body Keeps the Score, he is on YouTube, as well, in guest lectures. Now for an unusual recommendation you might want to check out HG Tudor who is a self-confirmed narcissist, sociopath, who speaks openly about it, how he was diagnosed and now he does many videos about it to help others learn. It is odd as he is essentially a sociopath who is exposing how to analyze and discover if your family, friends, etc or narcissists and how to deal with that. He also analyses celebrities and politicians who fit the bill. It is interesting and informative. I'm sure there are many other good sites on YouTube as well.
In a sense, job #2 reminds me of when I was in my previous rehab position. They mention a lot of admissions and discharges. It was salary. My mom asked me,"Was that too much for you? You were always there very late"
My old job has already found a replacement for me. Gotta love the feeling of being replaced...
Is it the Queen Bee? If not, why not do you think? Regardless, you weren't happy there. They had changed the job requirements on you and were expecting ridiculous and insane amount of on call for free. I would feel sorry for your replacement and wish them luck, they are going to need it. I just wonder how long they will last before they get fed up and leave too?
My mom asked me, "Silverbells, why would you want to keep a job that resulted in you needing to increase your antidepressants, increase the number of therapy sessions needed and result in you needing to take FMLA?"
My mom asked me, "Silverbells, why would you want to keep a job that resulted in you needing to increase your antidepressants, increase the number of therapy sessions needed and result in you needing to take FMLA?"
Exactly! That is why you should be thanking the Queen Bee she bothered you enough to finally leave that place! Here's hoping the next job will be much better!
SilverBells, BSN
1,108 Posts
Honestly, this is probably the worst thing to have happened to me. This is just proof that my coworker is once and for all "The Beloved Queen Bee"