i am a new grad rn who started work recently. i was going ok at first, i really enjoyed it, and felt a sense of accomplishment that i was making a difference to peoples lives. but recently it all seems to be falling apart, i feel that i am going backwards and getting more incompetent by the day. there are moments where i feel totally utterly and completely lost and i really just don't know where to begin....and once the panic sets in, i fall to pieces.......after that it is all i can do just to make it to the end of the shift. i really don't care about what i'm doing, i just want it to be over.....i start with one pt, and eventually find something i don't know how to do, one of the meds, a dressing, or whatever, so i just leave that pt for the moment and move on to something i can do for the next person, until of course the same situation arises in the next person, and i just move on the next and so on..... eventually the only things i have left to do in my shift are things i don't know how to do, and i panic, and the shift gets worse and worse and worse as i go.
i'm not usually a tearful person, but would find myself in tears during each shift, even over the slightest things. it was an awful week this week, i couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, i was just so stressed and i hated it....there were so many times during the shift where i just feel like walking out the door and never coming back.. the worst bit is i get so focused on the "things" i have to do, i almost forget about my "patients." the only way i make it to the end of the shift is by telling myself that i will resign tomorrow and never have to come back here.
i have called in sick 3 times in 3 weeks (once i didn't even call, just didn't show up) because i just couldn't bring myself to go to work. i feel so sorry for my patients. i really don't know what i'm doing. they ask me questions and i haven't got a clue how to answer. and when i get home i start to remember all the little things i forgot to do, or should have done.....all the other new grads are doing so well, and there really are no excuses anymore for my inability to be a good nurse.
the other staff are so nice to me, and this stresses me out even more. even when i do stupid things they just tell me its ok. but its not ok!! i should know better. they think i am a good nurse (or so they told me)....and really i am not! i am terrified they will find this out eventually...i know it shouldn't matter so much what others think, but it really does......they have such high expectations of me, and have spent so much of their time trying to help me, and i don't want to disappoint them. they all help me so much. they help too much, i should be able to do things on my own, but don't seem to be able to get through the shift without an enormous amount of help from the other nurses. i even had a student rn working with me this week who was 10 times better at the job than i was. i couldn't have got through the shift without her help. this is very wrong as i was supposed to be the one teaching and helping her, not the other way around. i really don't know how i even still have a job. people keep saying that i'm a good nurse, that i just need more confidence, etc.......i don't understand how they can say this after they see how hopeless i am and all the stupid things i do??????? i really have started to hate the job, or at least i hate that i am no good at it.
i wish i could go back to my old job as a nurses aide. at least i knew what i was doing and i enjoyed it, and at least i felt i was giving competent care to my patients. people told me all along i'd never make a good rn and i really should have listened. i suppose i just didn't want to face the fact that i really am not cut out for nursing, and i still don't want to face it or else i would just resign and get it over with. you probably cant tell from this post, but i really do love nursing. i really don't want to give up, is there anything i can do? any hope i will get better at this job? or should i quit while i'm ahead?
im sorry you feel so bad you need to talk to someone i think you just lack some confidence. good luck
i am a new grad rn who started work recently. i was going ok at first, i really enjoyed it, and felt a sense of accomplishment that i was making a difference to peoples lives. but recently it all seems to be falling apart, i feel that i am going backwards and getting more incompetent by the day. there are moments where i feel totally utterly and completely lost and i really just don't know where to begin....and once the panic sets in, i fall to pieces.......after that it is all i can do just to make it to the end of the shift. i really don't care about what i'm doing, i just want it to be over.....i start with one pt, and eventually find something i don't know how to do, one of the meds, a dressing, or whatever, so i just leave that pt for the moment and move on to something i can do for the next person, until of course the same situation arises in the next person, and i just move on the next and so on..... eventually the only things i have left to do in my shift are things i don't know how to do, and i panic, and the shift gets worse and worse and worse as i go.
i'm not usually a tearful person, but would find myself in tears during each shift, even over the slightest things. it was an awful week this week, i couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, i was just so stressed and i hated it....there were so many times during the shift where i just feel like walking out the door and never coming back.. the worst bit is i get so focused on the "things" i have to do, i almost forget about my "patients." the only way i make it to the end of the shift is by telling myself that i will resign tomorrow and never have to come back here.
i have called in sick 3 times in 3 weeks (once i didn't even call, just didn't show up) because i just couldn't bring myself to go to work. i feel so sorry for my patients. i really don't know what i'm doing. they ask me questions and i haven't got a clue how to answer. and when i get home i start to remember all the little things i forgot to do, or should have done.....all the other new grads are doing so well, and there really are no excuses anymore for my inability to be a good nurse.
the other staff are so nice to me, and this stresses me out even more. even when i do stupid things they just tell me its ok. but its not ok!! i should know better. they think i am a good nurse (or so they told me)....and really i am not! i am terrified they will find this out eventually...i know it shouldn't matter so much what others think, but it really does......they have such high expectations of me, and have spent so much of their time trying to help me, and i don't want to disappoint them. they all help me so much. they help too much, i should be able to do things on my own, but don't seem to be able to get through the shift without an enormous amount of help from the other nurses. i even had a student rn working with me this week who was 10 times better at the job than i was. i couldn't have got through the shift without her help. this is very wrong as i was supposed to be the one teaching and helping her, not the other way around. i really don't know how i even still have a job. people keep saying that i'm a good nurse, that i just need more confidence, etc.......i don't understand how they can say this after they see how hopeless i am and all the stupid things i do??????? i really have started to hate the job, or at least i hate that i am no good at it.
i wish i could go back to my old job as a nurses aide. at least i knew what i was doing and i enjoyed it, and at least i felt i was giving competent care to my patients. people told me all along i'd never make a good rn and i really should have listened. i suppose i just didn't want to face the fact that i really am not cut out for nursing, and i still don't want to face it or else i would just resign and get it over with. you probably cant tell from this post, but i really do love nursing. i really don't want to give up, is there anything i can do? any hope i will get better at this job? or should i quit while i'm ahead?
You sound alot like me! Hang in there. It sounds like you may have an underlying depression or anxiety dx. Please see your doc or seek some counselling through a work or insurance program. Sometimes having a non-judgmental ear can really help. Also, maybe some counselling will help you to rebuild some self confidence and self worth. Stay safe and take care of yourself
graduating after a stressful school [and nursing is a stressful disicipline] is a traumatic situation...listen to the others ... confidence will come in time..so will knowledge..if you don't really want this particular floor request a change but often you will be getting out of the frying pan and into the fire..
when you take report, write down what you need to do and ask questions of fellow nurses,...too often they are not ignoring you but they are so busy themselves they sometimes can't stop and do something else...you do need a proper orientation..and down the road and you see another you, a new nurse that is unsure of herself try to make it a little easier good luck i know that you will come out of the other side a good, competent nurse
i am a new grad rn who started work recently. i was going ok at first, i really enjoyed it, and felt a sense of accomplishment that i was making a difference to peoples lives. but recently it all seems to be falling apart, i feel that i am going backwards and getting more incompetent by the day. there are moments where i feel totally utterly and completely lost and i really just don't know where to begin....and once the panic sets in, i fall to pieces.......after that it is all i can do just to make it to the end of the shift. i really don't care about what i'm doing, i just want it to be over.....i start with one pt, and eventually find something i don't know how to do, one of the meds, a dressing, or whatever, so i just leave that pt for the moment and move on to something i can do for the next person, until of course the same situation arises in the next person, and i just move on the next and so on..... eventually the only things i have left to do in my shift are things i don't know how to do, and i panic, and the shift gets worse and worse and worse as i go.
i'm not usually a tearful person, but would find myself in tears during each shift, even over the slightest things. it was an awful week this week, i couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, i was just so stressed and i hated it....there were so many times during the shift where i just feel like walking out the door and never coming back.. the worst bit is i get so focused on the "things" i have to do, i almost forget about my "patients." the only way i make it to the end of the shift is by telling myself that i will resign tomorrow and never have to come back here.
i have called in sick 3 times in 3 weeks (once i didn't even call, just didn't show up) because i just couldn't bring myself to go to work. i feel so sorry for my patients. i really don't know what i'm doing. they ask me questions and i haven't got a clue how to answer. and when i get home i start to remember all the little things i forgot to do, or should have done.....all the other new grads are doing so well, and there really are no excuses anymore for my inability to be a good nurse.
the other staff are so nice to me, and this stresses me out even more. even when i do stupid things they just tell me its ok. but its not ok!! i should know better. they think i am a good nurse (or so they told me)....and really i am not! i am terrified they will find this out eventually...i know it shouldn't matter so much what others think, but it really does......they have such high expectations of me, and have spent so much of their time trying to help me, and i don't want to disappoint them. they all help me so much. they help too much, i should be able to do things on my own, but don't seem to be able to get through the shift without an enormous amount of help from the other nurses. i even had a student rn working with me this week who was 10 times better at the job than i was. i couldn't have got through the shift without her help. this is very wrong as i was supposed to be the one teaching and helping her, not the other way around. i really don't know how i even still have a job. people keep saying that i'm a good nurse, that i just need more confidence, etc.......i don't understand how they can say this after they see how hopeless i am and all the stupid things i do??????? i really have started to hate the job, or at least i hate that i am no good at it.
i wish i could go back to my old job as a nurses aide. at least i knew what i was doing and i enjoyed it, and at least i felt i was giving competent care to my patients. people told me all along i'd never make a good rn and i really should have listened. i suppose i just didn't want to face the fact that i really am not cut out for nursing, and i still don't want to face it or else i would just resign and get it over with. you probably cant tell from this post, but i really do love nursing. i really don't want to give up, is there anything i can do? any hope i will get better at this job? or should i quit while i'm ahead?
sorry for the length of this post,
skye
shame on the people who told you you would not make a good rn. it is a hard transition from one job role to another.
where is your mentor? maybe you could as your nurse manager to have a mentor for a longer period. it will build up your belief in yourself, see you are far more worthy than you give yourself credit for, and will give you the time to focus on what needs to be done.
we all started out new. not one of us did not feel overwhelmed and questioned ourselves how could we have ever done this. but you have worked hard and here you are.
if you trust your nurse manager, try what i suggested. if not, and the unit where you work is fast-paced, maybe you might try a slower paced area (hard to find these days), but can be done.
do not give up. you did not make it through nursing school without hard work and smarts. being inexperienced does not mean a person is stupid or inadequate. it simply means you are inexperienced. how do you get experienced and seasoned? by plugging along.
you need to align yourself with good people. people who want you to succeed and are glad when you do. they are there. sometimes it takes some looking.
if you find your self image is continuing to suffer, please talk to a counselor. they can be very helpful in assisting you to see what is really going on.
god bless. please stay in the profession. do not listen to people who are ready to tear you down. there are many who are great in your eyes, but we all started in the same place-the beginning.
and find something that gives you pleasure and joy on your off time. very important in this profession.
you do not need to have all the answers for your patients. just find out where the sources are to get them for them and yourself.
Hang in there! When you first graduate you're so proud of yourself. After a very short while a nurse learns that she has so much to learn. It kind of shatters your confidence at first. But you musn't let it. What you are feeling is so normal. Every nurse goes through it. Your peers are feeling exactly the way you are. You are able to verbalize it, so perhaps you have an advantage over them......who you think are so capable. To become a really good nurse you just need to learn something every day. You will always need to do that. I've been, and still am a practicing nurse for the past 37 years. (You must think I graduated with Florence Nightingale!) I still learn new stuff every day. I never really felt I had an awful lot to offer in skills or knowledge until I had been a nurse for about 10 years. Now I know I have a lot to offer. But I still have much to learn.
Please hang in there. You obviously have a lot of dedication or you wouldn't be so worried about your patients. Who will be my replacement when I eventually retire if you quit now?
I remember the last semester of nursing school....we all felt like *imposters*....and going to work as an actual nurse, it was even worse...here were these trusting patients, thinking that I actually knew something!!
My preceptor was a very good, but not very encouraging, nurse. She tended to make me feel like a total idiot on a daily basis. So my period of residency was as stressful as going to my clinicals in school, only it was EVERY day. It's been awhile and there are many times still, where I don't feel confident in holding my own when there's a disagreement regarding treatment, etc. But after a year and a half, I'm feeling much, much, much more confident now that I have my *own* niche where I can have more say in how I run my practice. And I'm lucky enough to have a very supportive nurse coordinator running the unit.
You obviously care enormously for your patient's quality of care and that's a lot more than many nurses have going for them. Burnout can take a toll on the enthusiasm of the best of us and you are new and evidently a very caring person.
The reason that you feel that you aren't *giving* enough to your patients, like you did as an aide, is that you are spending so much time worrying about TASKS....I did exactly the same thing! If there is a proceedure that you need to do, check out how to do it in a reference book before you tackle it, or ask one of these nice, helpful coworkers to demonstrate! USE them as a resource! If a pt. asks you a question and you don't know the answer....be honest! Tell them you are unsure and that you will check on it and will get back to them with the information as soon as you can answer their question better. They will appreciate the honesty and appreciate the fact that you are taking the time to give them the most accurate information you can. BELIEVE ME, the task part you will soon be very comfortable with, just as you were with your nurse's aide tasks and you will be doing the tasks in a more relaxed fashion and your focus will switch to the *patient* once again. DO NOT WORRY....this part, although horribly uncomfortable, does not last for very long!!!
I would also jot down any meds, vocabulary, proceedures that I needed to know about for my particular specialty and look them up when I got home and keep a notebook for all this....eventually it'll stick in your head. One thing that one of my instructors said was that a good nurse doesn't necessarily know all the information or all the answers, but a good nurse knows where to FIND them! This is Sooooo True!
I also keep a notebook with information pertinent to my job. When a pt. has a particular issue and someone asks a question about it, I do my research on the internet and print it out and file it in the notebook. Then I have it right there when I need it the next time someone asks. For example, we have several pts. with Hepatitis....so I printed out info on Hep A, B and C and put it in the notebook. I also put in copies of hospital policies which my come in handy during a treatment dispute. You will feel SO MUCH more confident when you can put your hands on the information that you need. I have also printed out relevant articles, vocabulary lists, abbreviations, etc and added them to my "work bible". It's also helpful when co-workers have questions related to work...I have the info right at hand!! It will also give you factual "back up" when peers dispute facts with you....which WILL happen as you become more confident and begin to implement plans of care on your own. You are well armed if you have a documented rationale!!
DO NOT, however, blow it by being a 'no call, no show' at work!! This will not help you keep those helpful nurses on your side! Be a team player...they seem to be reaching out to support you.....everyone was a "newbie" at one time.
Most of all....(easier said than done)...try to relax and enjoy your patients. Think how much more nervous they probably are than you...focus on trying to reassure them with a supportive smile or a kind word. They will remember that much more than whether or not you did a perfect job on their dressing, etc. You, in turn, will likely get a smile or kind word in return and eventuallly you will feel like you are truly *helping*.
I got my RN license about a year and a half ago and I can tell you that there are still many times that I feel very unsure of myself, but it's no longer every single minute of every single day...in fact, whole days go by where I feel like I done a darned good job and done it better than some nurses who have a lot more experience than I do. You'll get a little more confident every day....there may be days when you think you have it together and then find a huge, gaping hole in your knowledge base....but that's ok....just do some research, add it to your files, and know that you are growing and learning more every day.
Think how boring your job would be if there were no challenges and nothing new to learn after awhile. No one knows it all, and the continual learning environment makes nursing such an interesting and vital field to work in.
I don't know what branch of nursing you went into....did you chose this or just take a general med/surg job for experienc? I decided to go right into my specialty right out of nursing school and I'm glad I did. Sometimes I wish I had more of a med/surg background, but, as I said....if I come across a proceedure, etc. that I'm weak on (ok, or know nada about...lol) I can just look it up and ask my peers about it. We all ask each other questions...some DO sound dumb....but it's "dumber" to NOT ask, IMHO.
So, with all that said, STICK WITH IT!! Run into the bathroom on your break and cry if you need to relive some tension on occasion, but don't tie yourself in knots because you "don't know it all"....NONE of us do!! Take one day at a time and each day you will be a step closer to feeling more confident and in control of things. You are way too hard on yourself and you need to relax BIGTIME, both for your sake and your patients' sake. All things come in good time.
nakita
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