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New grad RN - feeling alone and lost at sea

Disasters   (332 Views | 3 Replies)

69 Profile Views; 2 Posts

I'm a new grad nurse and I didn't see any of this coming. I was assigned to screen ER patients who have COVID symptoms but am floated wherever they want me. The atmosphere is tense and heavy and clouded with fear. I am afraid. One of my friends, a healthy young individual, just passed away. Many nurses have chosen to quit and stay home with their families because this isn't what they signed up for. When I go to work, I am barely keeping it together. We have barely any PPE and can't wear a mask unless the pt is on a ventilator. It's only a matter of time before we all get sick. Staff are told to come in even though they're sick. I have met many young patients with no significant PMH/PSH who go on from walking and talking to dead in such a short time. We were asked my management to put together advance directives. I called my husband to ask whether I could list him - no response. A month ago I separated from my husband. Just as things started getting bad in our state he disappeared on me. No response to calls or texts and removed me from policies, accounts, credit cards without telling me. Guess I am truly alone during this crisis. He still lives in "our" house and I have fantasized about stopping by and asking him how he went from not wanting to separate to apparently hating my guts so much that he doesn't care if I die.

Even if I physically survive through this, I feel like I have already died. I would love any ideas on how to cope with this crisis as a new grad nurse on the front lines.

Edited by covidletmebeanurse

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15 Posts; 133 Profile Views

First I just want to start off by saying I am really sorry to hear everything you are going through. It truly is a scary and difficult time that the world is facing. I currently am a nursing student in an ADN program and a phlebotomist drawing blood in-patient at a local hospital. I think in general in a time like this, expressing your feelings with those around you, reaching out to loved ones that want to communicate and just keeping your personal health a priority are ways to cope with this crisis. I would really focus on yourself, stay safe and take time daily to do something that takes your mind off this crisis. I think we all as a society are dealing with this pandemic differently, but that is the advice I would give. Although it may seem like you are alone, I promise you that you are not and people care about you!

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milmom35 has 13 years experience.

16 Posts; 462 Profile Views

Sorry you're going through such a traumatic experience with work and personal life.

1. Does your employer have an EAP (Employee Assistance Program)? Contact them ASAP and get connected to a therapist. Taking care of your mental & emotional wellbeing is a must with all you're witnessing.

2. Prioritize finances and what you would do if you could not work for some time.

3. Document things at work and interactions with your husband. In crisis situations, a lot of laws and policies are violated but you may still be able to get recourse. Have a way to demonstrate what you're witnessing. Even a calendar showing your work assignments.

I get so angry about all the underhanded things hospitals are doing to staff. It's so messed up. Please know that there are work environments and managers who do respect you and care for your wellbeing. They may not be a nurse or even in healthcare. Consider other options. You never know what may come up in future.

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ML1376 has 3 years experience and specializes in ICU.

23 Posts; 587 Profile Views

Hello there.. I just wanted to reach out to you. I have to say, my heart breaks after reading that. Regarding work, are you in a high risk group and if so, can you do FMLA? Do you have any money saved if you want to step away? Maybe if you don't already, you could move in with your parents or a friend/relative to cut costs? I'm suggesting these, because I feel you need to get out of there. What you're going through in your personal life is very much tough enough. Being divorced myself, I can relate. Mine was unexpected and it hit hard. That said, the last thing you need on top of everything is the non-stop stress and fear of everything going on now. I can't imagine going through what I did personally and having the covid situation weighing it all done. It has to be crushing. I'm working on a leave of absence now. Thankfully I have a little money saved and supportive family if need be. I really hope you are in a similar situation. I obviously don't know you, but given what I've read, I'd strongly suggest considering stepping away from work until things settle down. This is by no means normal in terms of nursing.. in terms of anything, and being a new grad, I can't even imagine how it's hitting you. And if you ever feel the need to do something drastic, PLEASE get help/reach out first. You're in a burning house now with everything you're going through. First things first, find a way to get out of the house (work), so you can deal with the personal issues and not worry about your health and safety. A red flag doesn't get much bigger than having management request staff fill out advanced directives.. you have to leave there.. Hello there.. I just wanted to reach out to you. I have to say, my heart breaks after reading that. Regarding work, are you in a high risk group and if so, can you do FMLA? Do you have any money saved if you want to step away? Maybe if you don't already, you could move in with your parents or a friend/relative to cut costs? I'm suggesting these, because I feel you need to get out of there. What you're going through in your personal life is very much tough enough. Being divorced myself, I can relate. Mine was unexpected and it hit hard. That said, the last thing you need on top of everything is the non-stop stress and fear of everything going on now. I can't imagine going through what I did personally and having the covid situation weighing it all done. It has to be crushing. I'm working on a leave of absence now. Thankfully I have a little money saved and supportive family if need be. I really hope you are in a similar situation. I obviously don't know you, but given what I've read, I'd strongly suggest considering stepping away from work until things settle down. This is by no means normal in terms of nursing.. in terms of anything, and being a new grad, I can't even imagine how it's hitting you. And if you ever feel the need to do something drastic, PLEASE get help/reach out first. You're in a burning house now with everything you're going through. First things first, find a way to get out of the house (work), so you can deal with the personal issues and not worry about your health and safety. A red flag doesn't get much bigger than having management request staff fill out advanced directives.. you have to leave there..

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