New CNA, not too well at taking insults.

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hi everyone, I'm new to this site and I'd like to know how you all cope with insults.

I am a brand new cna, graduated in august and got my license in september. I've been working at one of the best healthcare facility for about a month now, and I still just haven't seem to get it all together. I work 3 days a week, friday (3-11), saturday 7-3 and sunday 7-3. I get an estimate of about 8-12 residents and it just gets all too overwhelming. For the past two days, I had my supervisor's MOM as a resident and I was so scared since I didn't know what to do..

I got the report from the RNA but when it came down to it, I was still all too intimidated. I mean, majority of it all I did alright. But the resident would have these episodes where she would be happy and extremely grouchy the next! Since we both talk tagalog, if I ask her something, she seems to threaten me by saying " if you don't do this, I'll go tell them" or she'll say to her husband (who is really nice btw!) "dad, you see what she's doing? observe this and let ______ know." I only do what I'm ordered to do, and today- she called me stupid for having difficulty changing her dress the THIRD time in the last 4 hours.

I feel like, just because she's my boss' mom- she's became too spoiled and I really can't do anything about it. This is the resident that most people wouldn't want since one mistake can land their job. But since I'm a floater and the actual nurse in charge of her is away for a while, I really don't have any other choice but to care for her. And if I come to my charge nurse with this, they're probably going to accuse me of trying to refuse resident care- landing me into some DEEPER mess ! On a second note, I really don't get much help from the other nurses despite the amount of requests I keep asking- so beginning a newbie, it is too overwhelming and after work i always feel as if I'd want to cry and pity myself. :crying2:

what should i do?

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Specializes in ICF-MR.

I'm a new CNA also, got my license same timeframe as you. But I can already tell you, that if it was me, I'd start looking for another job. It will most likely only get worse.

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Unfortunately, it is very very common to come across people like this - residents or patients who think that it is not only your job to take care of them, but also to put up with abuse from them. If this one is related to your boss, though, I'd definitely start looking for a new job, and report any threats she makes, just in case she does try to get you in trouble.

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In my opinion the next time the resident says to you "I'm telling or you're stupid" I would say "Don't worry I will go and have it documented you think I'm stupid and I will document you are not patient and uncooperative" Let the chips fall where they may.

I would tell my manager that you would like a member of the nursing staff to shadow you while taking care of the supervisors mom because you feel she is threatening your job. Get it documented.

Best of luck to you.

Like the other posters advised. Start looking for another job.

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Specializes in LTC.

Why is everyone telling her to look for another job? There are PLENTY of residents in every nursing home that act like that, and you can't avoid taking care of a staff member's parent. I've taken care of both my administrator and my DON's parents before, as well as the parents of other people who are connected in some way to the higher-ups. It sucks because they DO expect you to treat these people like VIPs but there's nothing you can really do about it.

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While I wouldn't have a problem caring for a boss's parent in general, I WOULD if that parent was constantly threatening to get me fired/in trouble. Not a risk I personally am willing to take.

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Specializes in LTC, Memory loss, PDN.

Fuzzywuzzy is absolutely right, if you run from this you'll be running for a looong time. Does your super expect you to provide special treatment or does she even know about her mom 's behavior?

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When people cuss at me or call me names, I usually bust up laughing, even double over (depending on how funny it was). Don't take everything that people say so seriously. This job is hard enough as it is. Some people think this is rude, but really, I couldn't survive the mountainous crapload of insults without laughing.

I highly doubt your supervisor knows exactly how his/her parent is actually treating you. There have been numerous occasions where I have taken care of a supervisor or coworker's parent, and they have always been very prompt at stopping unreasonable behavior before it got out of hand (i.e., "Mom, STOP with this call light business; the aides have better things to do than come in here every 5 minutes"). Next time the parent was being unreasonable, I wouldn't hesitate to say something like "You know, I don't think that your son/daughter [insert supervisor name here] would be very happy to know that you were treating me and friends this way. You need to stop [insert behavior here] or I will let [son/daughter's name] know how you have been acting." I would even walk out of the room and let them know I would come back when they were ready to be respectful to me. When you see your supervisor, let them know how their loved one has been acting and ask them to speak with them. I've never had a "royal" resident's family get upset with me for letting them know these things. After all, they've been around these people their whole lives and have a pretty good idea how they act. In fact, I've found that families from a nursing background and more prone to tell their mom/dad to "knock it off" since they know exactly what it's like to be on the receiving end of bad behavior. Boss's family member or not, don't take crap from people. Stick up for yourself.

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Mask your intimidation. She is like a dog who can sense it and will take advantage of it. I have a game face I'll put on when dealing with difficult people. It is a cross between I'm nice and a don't mess with me look.

Like fuzzy posted, that lady is just one example of the lovely personalities we deal with daily. The reality is that there are people like her no matter where you go. You have to learn how to cope because running away isn't always the answer.

Good luck!

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First, did you inquire at all about what a nursing assistant does in a health care facility before you signed up for classes? I think if you had, you may have reconsidered your job choice. Yes, you are a new graduate, but IF you want to continue in this field, aside from the physical care, i.e. bathing, feeding, pericare, etc., the personality clashes, insults, threats of reporting and physical abuse are just facets of this job that you have to learn to deal with as you go. Don't run from them. For difficult patients such as this lady, as someone mentioned above, take a shadow with you when you care for her as a little insurance in case of a complaint later. I have experienced many patients like this as well, and I just work harder and smarter with them the next go around. Remember, you are an important part of healthcare, no matter what ANYONE else tells you. NOT everyone can do this profession, but the ones who give their best effort are the best CNAs. Blessings:)

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thank you to everyone! I'm still having difficulty with this resident, but I'm hoping things will eventually look up. I don't intend on looking for another job, since this one is conveniently close to my house. But to some suggestions as to having a shadow and all, I'm one of the few CNAs that understand tagalog, and that is the main language she speaks. I feel as though I really don't have much of a say because I'm really quite new and they may just think I'm being overdramatic. :/

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thank you to everyone! I'm still having difficulty with this resident, but I'm hoping things will eventually look up. I don't intend on looking for another job, since this one is conveniently close to my house. But to some suggestions as to having a shadow and all, I'm one of the few CNAs that understand tagalog, and that is the main language she speaks. I feel as though I really don't have much of a say because I'm really quite new and they may just think I'm being overdramatic. :/

I understand about being new and not wanting to make waves because of that.

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