Before I started nursing school, I used to look at any nurse in amazement! It didn't matter if they worked in a hospital, school, home health, whatever. You were the ***! Then I got into nursing school and started clinicals and came to think "Oh NO, I MUST work in a hospital with acute care patients to feel like I am really "doing this" and a "real" nurse. Now as a new grad on a busy tele floor in a large hospital, I feel like THIS status isn't good enough. Now I need to be in the ER or ICU with critically ill patients to be the "real deal". I wonder how far this will go? What if I get into the ICU, then it might not be a good enough hospital next. I feel like the bar keeps moving and no matter what I do I can't keep up. I really like the floor I am on. They pay is good, the people are good. Sometimes the pt acuity seems too easy and I crave something harder, but it is frustrating that I don't feel like a "real" hardcore badass nurse. I don't feel good enough. How do you all come to terms with where you are and learn to just be happy with where you are at?
You know, what I think and worry about for myself is that I will have this same problem. Mostly because I have been in this mindset of do better, not great, you must be better than great, to get into nursing school, to pass nursing school and get a job after.
I think that mindset is something REALLY hard to shut off, because you are constantly pushing yourself to do better to get to these points and its hard to take that breath and say, "I'm here, I did it and I can breathe again and enjoy that I have reached my goals."
I'm an ICU nurse. After a particularly rough shift, my coworker and I were discussing things that scared us $#!+less. It did not involve codes, CRRT, vssopressors, pulling sheaths, emergent intubations...
...we both agreed: A walkie talkie who is not on the tele. Ugh, my worst nightmare. So much can go wrong. I have so much more control over a sedated, ventilated patient.
As an ICU nurse, I could NOT do what you do. I love my line of work, but it taught me to recognize we all have our specialties.
Sometimes the pt acuity seems too easy and I crave something harder,
This stood out to me. When I first started in dialysis I had this thought too. Once I knew how to set up machines, connect patients and manage ESRD labs, I craved something harder too. ICU or ED, an area with more bells and whistles.
But, I stayed in dialysis and I realized that I thought many aspects of my job were too easy, but in reality I wasn't truly putting the pieces together and critically evaluating my patients.
Once I started really focusing on my assessment skills and asking more nitty gritty questions my patient acuity wasn't quite what I thought it was.
I second other's opinions to stick it out, acquire certifications, sit on committees and as FolksBtrippin said:
20 hours ago, FolksBtrippin said:
pushing yourself hard to learn and grow where you are.
You may still find that you're not passionate where you're at and that's ok, but at least give yourself an opportunity to make a more informed decision.
You worked hard to get your degree and now a job probably seems easier than school. Does that make you feel that you aren't working so hard? Just take it easy, you don't have to be so antsy. Don't let other more acute care nurses look down on you. I just can't stand nurses that think, hey I'm better than you because I work in ER or ICU or surgery or whatever. I worked in HHC for years and I was a great nurse there. They couldn't do what I did, no way. If they wanted to look down on me it was because they were ignorant. So, if you decide that you would like to take it a bit further some day, then sure, go ahead. But, the main thing is to like how your job makes you feel, do you feel gratified by what you accomplished that day? Job satisfaction is a great thing, not everyone gets that. I bet some of the more acute care nurses don't always get it. Don't feel you have to do such and such because it sounds impressive or because other nurses think that is the thing to do.
I would advise that you set up a trajectory with your career though. If you are going to be a nurse till retirement then make some plans to get away from bedside nursing. Start working your way towards education, administration or something similar that you would like. Nursing is hard work and you can't avoid growing older that's for sure. Good luck to you in your future endeavors whatever they be.
Thank you for all the wise advice guys. And I appreciate you not jumping down my throat about putting other specialties down. After re-reading my initial post I can see how that might have been assumed, but it is not what I meant. I will continue on my floor and hone my skills and maybe later down the road try another specialty ?
This really is all internal, and it’s about being confident in yourself and your choices.
I graduated last year from a well-regarded program. I can say without bragging that I was the top student in my class, or at least in the top 2 or 3. And not just in lecture— my clinical instructors said I was unusually skilled, gave me very top marks, etc. And I took a job in Community Health. I had also applied to do psych. And two of the other students did say to me— “You want to do psych/community? I thought you’d want to do [ICU/NICU/cardiac/whatever “prestigious” field].” And I always said with confidence and with a smile, “I LOVE patient education. This is what I want to do. I feel like this is where I can help patients.”
My point is, it isn’t some particular specialty or some accolades from your peers that will make you feel like a “real nurse.” That comes when you find a field you love (and it sounds like you have!) and you keep at it long enough to be skilled at it, and you feel like you’re helping people. If you keep looking for affirmation from the outside that you are awesome enough, you will be looking forever.
Kotylynne
286 Posts
You know, what I think and worry about for myself is that I will have this same problem. Mostly because I have been in this mindset of do better, not great, you must be better than great, to get into nursing school, to pass nursing school and get a job after.
I think that mindset is something REALLY hard to shut off, because you are constantly pushing yourself to do better to get to these points and its hard to take that breath and say, "I'm here, I did it and I can breathe again and enjoy that I have reached my goals."