Nervous About Resigning From Private Duty Case

[Jusdoingnursingthings]

I’m a fairly new nurse and this is my first private duty case. Currently, the only night nurse since I’ve started 8 months ago and patient is staffed fully on days. Basically the company said to work out my schedule with the mother. In the past, I got to pick the days I wanted to work and the relationship I built with the mother was great. Unfortunately the family has experienced losing their home in a natural disaster and is staying with a family friend has also had a medical child and multiple children, a lot of moving parts in this home. 

The mother has recently taken a night shift job. Now, I have to work on her schedule. I really hate her schedule. It’s days and I can’t be on a normal rotating schedule. The days she works are literally the days my fiancé has off which really suck. I thought it was normal to be super involved with the family because the other nurses attend birthday parties, buy things for the patients, gifts, etc. One day shift nurse has followed this patient from another company and the other one drives over a hour for this case. Lately the mom has been taking advantage of me and guilt tripping me into working on my days off and not the mention I’ve completely changed my schedule to match her work schedule and she did this without consulting me. I feel so guilty if I don’t come in bc the mom always says she’s tired and wants to sleep. Also feel so guilty since they’ve been displaced and living in someone’s living room for months, I feel so bad for everything they’ve gone through. If I quit the mom will have to quit her job. The company hasn’t hired another nurse and when I expressed that I’ve been the only nurse on this case since I’ve started they said they’ve been trying to staff her and to stick it out basically. The family is located a hour and 45 mins in a rural area away from the base city of the company so it’s hard to staff. 

I’m fed up of getting guilt tripped and very upset she decided to take on a night job knowing she’s not staffed on nights and excepting me to just be okay her schedule, which clearly I’m not. Not to mention the benefits through this company suck, the health insurance sucks and expensive, no hsa, no 401k, no 401b, just a “good” pto program but I can never take off anyways. I’ve been looking for another job and ready to leave this company but how should I go about quitting? I feel like I need to tell the mom since I will affect her work schedule, I’m super nervous about doing this, mom had a strong personality but I have a life too and should of never got too involved and crossed the line instead of keeping  it professional. I’m sure other nurses have experienced this, how’d it go? Thanks everyone!

[amoLucia]

Get another position, first, then resign. And do it QUIETLY!

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, bring up the topic with that Mom. Most likely, she will just continue to 'guilt trip' you. So will your agency try also.

Life happens to everyone -you can't be resp for her personal life. You have your own life to live.

Welcome to AN.

[Jusdoingnursingthings]

45 minutes ago, amoLucia said:

Get another position, first, then resign. And do it QUIETLY!

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, bring up the topic with that Mom. Most likely, she will just continue to 'guilt trip' you. So will your agency try also.

Life happens to everyone -you can't be resp for her personal life. You have your own life to live.

Welcome to AN.

Thank you for that response. I hate having this guilt but it is just a job. I do feel it’s wrong to quit and not tell her as it affects her work life. Will the company notify her as soon as I put my resignation in? 

[amoLucia]

You'll have to give your employer the mandatory/obligatory resignation that will cover your remaining time. At that point, you can discuss it with your employer WHO will tell the Mom. 

I'm old school where courtesy would deem SOMEONE would provide Mom notice of your resignation. And in her case, the earlier, the better. I mean, she does have a life to plan for now without you. 

But know, you prob will run the risk of someone pleading and begging for you to stay. And PROMISES maybe attached.  Don't get taken advantage of again.

The less info you provide, the better for you. A clean separation. Just remember as you said it, it's just a job. They managed before WITHOUT you; they can manage again without you.

K  I  S  S  it - that is, keep you resignation short and simple.

Good luck. 

[Kitiger, RN]

The agency probably hasn't been able to hire another nurse. 

Have you told the mom that her new schedule isn't working for you? If she can change things, you might be able to stay. If that doesn't help, then I agree that you should find another job, give your 2-week notice to the agency, and then discuss with your employer who should tell the mom.

Maybe one of those other nurses can switch to nights to help the family. Whether they do or not, however, is not your problem. I agree that you should not go into detail as to why you need a different job. Just say that the new schedule isn't working for you. "I'm sorry, but the schedule isn't working for me." Repeat as necessary.