Need Some Advice.

[Sh0nn0n]

i recently stumbled across this site and i think this is the perfect place to get some advice from. i'm in my second year of college and i'm currently in a year-long ma (medical assisting) program and i will be completed with it after a 6 week externship in the summer. during high school, in the junior and senior year i attended what we call polytech, to others in also called vo-tech. my first year was generally learning about the body systems (but not as detailed as a&p) and with that for my local community college i earned credits two classes (med. term and fitness and wellness). the second year was a&p i and ii, both of which i earned the credits and got an a in the first one and b+ in the second. with this health program that i was in, they made an agreement with my community college that students who did this and passed, in addition to taking the teas and doing well, were automatically entered in the nursing program. out of my class only 4 got into the program, including me.

i began my freshman year of college in the nursing program, which i see know is a dream for any student that desires this career. i was overall doing okay in the classes, getting 70-80 on the tests and my clinical instructor said i was doing really well. toward the end of the first semester i started having problems and ended up dropping out.

i have always had emotional problems in the life, like depression and recently add/adhd. one of the main problems included not being able to focus to study, but i've been trying new medications to help. also i constantly thought to myself, if i can't take care of myself how can i take care of others. a lot of times i tend to feel sick, and tend to be a little bit of a hypochondriac. i truly love caring for others and i always been told i'm a smart girl. not trying to sound conceited, but i know i am smart, some tests i won't even have to study for and i get a's.

at this point it getting close to applying time for the program at my school and i think i want to apply. in my currently program i am getting all a's and my teacher has said i'm the top in my class grade-wise, even though it is a small class of 20 it still makes me feel good. i am planning on taking the teas in january, and i know i might not get in right away. but my main concern is what if i do get in and i realize i can't do it and drop out again. i was hard being a failure once for me and on my family, but to do it again? i'm definitely a different person from a year ago, but that still doesn't make me less nervous about this. i really want something i and my family can be proud of and nursing definitely is. if anyone has experienced this and went back to graduate or has advice that would be appreciated. thanks.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

seriously? you have the tools, you have the desire, but something is holding you back from being your best self. i don't think you can find the answer here, except for this: you must find a good counselor to give you the tools to manage this problem.

it will be like recovering from any other injury or illness, although probably without the institutions- acute care first, then stepdown, then outpatient. along the way you'll learn how to recognize how to avoid situations where reinjury could occur, and also symptoms of reinjury, first aid techniques you can use to treat yourself, and how to recognize when you need to see professional help. this will take time. we're not talking about six weeks.

this is too important to leave to amateurs, no matter how well-meaning. been there, done that, nuff said.