Need help with coping......

Testa Rosa, RN · Jul 28, 2006

Oh Angel--I know how you feel.

The trick is to have the opening comments well scripted and practiced. Keep a smile on your face, breath deeply and talk positively to yourself in your own head....pep talk to yourself before you get up there and don't get worked up as you watch others go before you. Tell yourself, "you are hot stuff...this is nothing...I will fly thru this"...whatever your own little internal dialog that gets you going might be.

It's those first few seconds that always get me....my face flushes and my heart pounds and it feels like I have sand in my mouth. My hands shake so much at first that it doesn't help me to have index cards. I just hold on to an outline sheet and start refering to it once I get over that first hump and start warming up. Again, practice so that what you say will be second nature, and once you get past those first few minutes, it's easy and you will kick yourself in the butt for getting worked up. I always put a smile on my face and take a good pause to scan the room....it makes me think that I am in control and they are waiting on me to start and it gives me time to stop the pounding heart and get a little saliva back into my mouth.

It helps to make eye contact with the sweetest face in the room. Take a deep breath, put a smile on your face and scan the room till you find a sweet face. Above all else, take your time. Pretend you are confident, and you will convince yourself you actually are....and then you Know that everyone in that class is rooting for you and wants you to do well.

If you are good at that sort of thing, props help...like I started a presentation about the history of a new product--it's ups and downs until it hit market--by playing with a yoyo. I once threw beach balls out into a crowd. My husband has a good sense of humor, so he starts off with jokes or a funny visual aide, and he somehow is always able to tie the joke back into his closing line....he's really gifted in the humor department...probably why we've been married so long. I always like using visual aids as it gives me something to look at other than the sea of faces.

Remember, women tend to talk too fast....take moments to pause, scan the crowd and make significant eye contact around several spots in the room....but don't let your eyes rove around like a maniac. Keep your voice strong and act confident--if you act it, you will start to feel it. I promise you.

Sometimes, in my prior life in sales/marketing, I would take my time setting up in front of a big crowd, cuz that takes the edge off a little...while setting up my posters, product, whatever, I would take little peeks at the crowd and smile. I would tell myself, "Dazzling Smile" and be giving myself a little pep talk in my head, nobody would've ever guessed at how nervous I actually was....unless they looked close at my shirt and could see the Pound, Pound, Pound of my heart beating.

Deep breaths, take your pauses, smile, make eye contact, have a well practiced open and the rest will be all good. I promise. Let us know how you did. Good Luck!

GB

diamondmeadows, BSN, RN · Jul 28, 2006

bertolozzi gave some really great advice! :)

i don't know if any of what i have to say will be useful to you, but i feel the need to respond because i was so terrified when i took speech last semester. years ago in high school, before i knew what i wanted to do, i actually refused to consider certain majors because they required a speech class. :stone

if you have already registered, then this won't be helpful at all, but i'll throw it out there anyway. just in case you don't already know about www.ratemyprofessors.com , it is a really valuable resource. you can look up the available instructors and hopefully choose one who is really kind and relaxed. i had two different teachers for each half of my semester, and it makes a HUGE difference.

in my class, a lot of people freaked out and dropped, so if your class looks huge and intimidating the first day, try to stick it out. you probably know from previous classes that at least half of those people probably aren't going to be there by the end. this means you will most likely be speaking to a smaller group.

the above post mentioned practicing, and i agree that when it actually comes to your speeches, that is probably the best thing you can do. if you have a good teacher s/he will probably talk to you about other ways to overcome speech anxiety.

aside from that, the best advice i can give you is to just do it. i had a very intimidating and difficult teacher the first half of the semester who required us to give a five minute speech on our second day of class. just preparing it was a nightmare because i had no idea what i was doing. when i finally got up to do it i really thought i was going to faint. i was shaking uncontrollably, and i am not exaggerating when i say that while i was speaking my vision actually started to go out...everything starting turning white and kind of pulsing in and out. and for some reason, the muscles in part of my face started twitching, and i couldn't control it. i will never forget that experience. but even though i felt like i might actually drop dead, i finished the speech, and then it was over. by the end of the semester, giving a speech wasn't even a big deal anymore, and i even got an A.

i have another strategy that i think is often overlooked: talk to the people in your class. make friends with them. even if you are shy, go to your class early on the first day and start conversations. if you do this, then once you get up to speak, you are addressing your friends instead of a bunch of scary, strange faces.

one more thing. if you make an effort to smile, look attentive and friendly, and laugh at the appropriate times (even if the joke isn't very funny) when others are speaking, then they will probably do the same for you, and it will make you feel much more comfortable.

wow, i didn't mean to go on for so long! but i hope i helped at least a little. and i know how hard it can be, so don't forget that we will be here to support you. :flowersfo

Angel 3 · Jul 28, 2006

Thank you guys so much for the great advice. I wouldn't have even thought about some of these ideas to make it easier on myself. That really does make sense though when you think about it. My mind has just been so boggled lately from stress over this one class. I'm taking 16 hours, but this is my most feared one. I really appreciate the great support and thank you very much!!!!:thankya:

Pixiesmom, BSN, RN · Jul 28, 2006

You definitely received some awesome advice from the above posters. While speech isn't a pre-req at my school I had the fortune of having a great teacher for Comp I & Comp II that made oral presentations part of our classwork. What helped me the most was visual aids and practicing. Good luck in your speech class and remember, you can do it!

prmenrs, RN · Jul 28, 2006

Try to get your thoughts off yourself by encouraging classmates. Shyness makes you focus inward, so make a conscious effort to think about what the other students are going thru. It sounds hokey, but if you tell some one about to "do their thing" how great you KNOW they will be, you'll have a friend or 2 in the audience cheering you on!

Focus on the speaker--BE the friendly face in the audience!

In all likelihood, you'll never see any of these people again. Who cares if you're not going to make a living speaking in public. You need to be able to teach patients, so any communication skills you can learn are useful when you are working!

Good luck!

browneyedgirl71 · Jul 28, 2006

Angel - Did you know that public speaking is the public's #1 fear, even above dying? I heard that once and couldn't agree more.

You sound just like me!! When I took speech I had the college debate coach...talk about intimidating!! But she was really supportive and encouraging.

What really worked for me was being prepared. Practice your speech outloud many, many times. When you are up there, it's ok to pause, take your time.. and to swallow:) If your hands shake, hold on to the podium or have one hand on the podium to steady yourself and use the other one for expression.

I know you can get thru this. Keep your eye on the goal and remind yourself this is just one class. Most of the time the other students won't really be paying atten. And most of all, if you mess up....don't let that bother you - - press on. This is a speech class and you are there to learn.

(((HUGS)))

WDWpixieRN, RN · Jul 28, 2006

I'll just add that you never would've convinced me 10 or 15 years ago that I could speak up in front of a group -- especially strangers....but as I've gotten a little older (maybe wiser?), I've gotten to the point where I will do it....I don't love it, but I do it.

In my Oral Communications class about 8 years ago, she TAPED us....and then made us WATCH it (alone, thank God)...talk about miserable!! But I just always kept in mind that there are those FAR more afraid than I am....and I just got to the point that when it came right down to it, almost anything that another human being can do, I too am capable of doing...

Lastly, the best thing for me is just preparation....if I have my choice of topics, I find that choosing something I KNOW and LOVE, makes it so much more of a breeze...I can chat away forever...and being organized, starting early on my topic/presentation, and then some props as someone else mentioned helps....make friends in your class...misery loves company and that will be a good person, or persons, to make eye contact with....you will KNOW they empathize!!

I still talk too fast and sometimes my mouth gets away from my brain, but the best thing I can tell you is that you won't be able to get away from this....there will be many many many times in your eduation and career where some type of public speaking may be necessary, so you may as well start working through it now...baby steps and it gets a little easier -- but never easy for some of us!!

Best wishes!

IaCountryGirl · Jul 28, 2006

I haven't taken any speech classes since HS. I know I will have to have a speech class for the nursing curriculum though.

I HATED doing speeches or any sort of thing where I had to get up in front of everyone.

Senior year was the year I had the speech class. I went to a small school so I already knew everyone quite well but it didn't lessen my fears any. I only remember two types of speeches we had give but I know there were a few more. One was a demonstration speech- I made chocolate chip cookies. The other was a personal experiance speech. The teacher warned us that at times, these speeches would get really heavy, we were going to learn things about our classmates we might have never known otherwise and it would be one of the best things we would ever go through.

He was right. He still, in my mind, was one of the best teachers I ever had. I decided I was going to go out with a bang with my personal experiance speech. I spoke of my fathers death my freshman year, how I felt when I went back to school and how they (my classmates) made me feel. I was crying by the end, so were many of the other kids. But I never regret doing it. Honestly, by the time I sat down, I thought I was going to throw up! I ended up with an A even though my speech was a tad short. But because I had the guts to get up and speak about something most people probably wouldn't dare to, he felt I deserved the A.

So my tips are- Speak to people on a level they understand- avoid a lot of big words people might not understand. Make eye contact, but don't be afraid to break it and look around the room at others or down at your index cards. Practice practice practice. If you screw up, just go on about it or if it's a really big screw up, like a demonstration speech and you accidently crack the egg all over the table instead of the bowl, make a joke about it then move on. And if you get to pick the topic, pick one that you feel comfortable with. I picked chocolate chip cookies because I had made them a hundred times and could do it without really any prep work.

casi, ASN, RN · Jul 28, 2006

I acctually did competetive speech in high school. (I'm weird right?) I did fine until I acctually looked into a persons eyes and knew they were watching me. Then I would freeze up and it would be bad. The best thing I learned was to look at foreheads. You're close enough to the eyes that people think you're making eye contact, but you're really not.

Angel 3 · Jul 28, 2006

Thanks to all of you who have posted your advice and experiences with this horrible class. My nerves are easing up a little just knowing that I have a huge support group here. That always makes me feel more comfortable. And I know in my heart that I can make it threw this class, I just have to do it. All of your advice will be very beneficial this semester. I will read these thread countless times before going to class or giving a speech!!! :lol2: