Need a Critique for Cover Letter

[ArtisticNurse]

Hi! Here's a cover letter I've just written. I would appreciate your insights and suggestions about it. I know it still needs some editing done to it.

Thank you very much! Good luck to fellow job hunters!

YAMKINS, BSN, RN

12345 ABC Road, City, STATE 12345 | 567-123-4564 | [e-mail]

November 04, 2012

Human Resource Department

[hospital name]

[address]

USA

Re: Job Application

Dear Sir / Madam,

I am writing to express my interest in serving as a Staff Nurse at Blah Blah Hospital. While I ideally would like to work in the Operating Room, I would strongly consider any staff nursing positions which may be available. I am willing to work evenings, weekends, and am amenable to all shifts.

As indicated in my enclosed resume, I have been a Registered Nurse in the Philippines with 8 months of Emergency Room experience. My BSN degree and my experience have provided me with a broader base of clinical knowledge and an improvement in my nursing skills. I have recently passed the NCLEX-RN in Illinois and awaiting final issuance of my license.

In addition to my nursing skills, I hope to bring to your institution strong leadership and organizational skills gained through my extra-curricular involvement and my non-clinical work experience. Balancing my work as a Supervisor at A***** Pharmacy with my employment as a Volunteer Staff Nurse at R*** L** Memorial Medical Center and as a Writer/Graphic Designer for the City Mayor has required commitment, time management and, often, a passion to learn and to excel. Supervisors have commented on my ability to manage multiple tasks simultaneously while maintaining a level of enthusiasm and quality for the project at hand.

I would be delighted to begin my career with Blah Blah Hospital. If you would like to contact me, my mobile phone number is 567-123-4564 and my email address is [e-mail]. I look forward to speaking with you.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Yamkins, BSN, RN

[Lev, MSN, RN, NP]

Seems great to me!

[RNewbie]

Sounds good to me. I have been using my same cover letter for years, just personalizing it to whatever position I'm applying for. My mother works for the state as a director of a state agency. She reviews resumes a lot and she helped me write my cover letter and it sounds almost exactly like the one above. It's almost like you copied my cover letter and changed a few words!

[ArtisticNurse]

That's good to know! I was worried it might be too bulky/long.

I hope I'll get a job soon!

Thanks, everyone! :)