I just came across a video of my daughter in law's simple minded mother, that showed her forcing a lollipop into my grandson's mouth and beaming as he was sucking on it. He was born two months premature, and was less than 3 mos. old at the time, but basically his digestive system was more like a 3 week old and he weighed less than 9 pounds.
I used to babysit my grandson overnight a LOT, many time 3 days straight. I noticed that whenever he was over at the other grandparents for the day that he was a totally different child when he came back home.
He was very irritated and agitated, full of gas, crying a lot, had a hard time sleeping, etc. etc.
I asked my DIL what went on over there, as when he was here I never had any problems like those. I continually asked if they were possibly feeding him anything he should not have (i.e. giving him tastes of their food, feeding him baby food, etc.) and was told that they were specifically told NOT to give him anything so she did not think they were. But then again, she was given baked beans at 3 days of age, her brother was put on whole milk at 3 days (because formula was too expensive) and a one month old in the family was being given pieces of chicken nuggets, Dimetapp was routinely used on most babies in the family after shots were given (to help them sleep) so there was no telling what they were doing to/with him.
I kept track of how he did whenever he was over there for the day and finally told my son that there was definitely something going on, it was NOT just a coincidence that he came home a totally different baby. EVERY TIME he was over there he came home distressed. EVERY SINGLE TIME. She then told me that maybe it was just because he may be over tired because he was not getting naps because too many people were always handling him, etc.
Well, the other day I was given a video of him, showing the other grandmother forcing a lollipop into the babies mouth. Even when he turned his head, she would continually put the sucker back in his mouth, and she was very proud of what she was doing.
What person in there right mind would decide to have a less than 9 pound preemie suck on a lollipop? I just cannot being to understand that. And if they were doing that, it certainly makes me wonder about what other stupid things they were doing to that poor little helpless, defenseless newborn baby. She may very well have just given him teaspoons of sugar, as that is all a lollipop is made of.
Nearly every member of that family (both sides) have some kind of problem and many have asthma attacks that are caused by food allergies. Gee, I cannot imagine why.
Whenever I expressed my concern over them doing something totally stupid I was told that "oh, they did that with all the kids and we turned out fine." What? No, they didn't turn out FINE, they may be ALIVE, but that's basically about it.
Has anyone heard of people doing this at that age? And what kind of problems can overloading a newborn with sugar cause?
My mother-in-law recommended a little whiskey and sugar when the baby wouldn't sleep... she drove me crazy and gave me a rash every single time she came over... I didn't let her do most of the stuff she wanted to do... she used to tell me to go in my bedroom to nurse my baby... IN MY OWN HOUSE... what a piece of work she was...
That baby's life is at risk every day it's over there.
They had an infant to die of hypothermia around here about 6 months ago because "grandma" thought she could handle a high fever of a 2 week old infant...so she put it in the sink with ice and water and the baby went into cold shock and never recovered.
Grandma thought the baby was "sleeping"...the infant was in a coma and was brain dead.
Apparently she did this with her other 7 children and they all turned out "just fine".
Has anyone tried to educate the other grandparents other than attack them? People do stupid things because stupid things were done to them when they were younger and they lived through it hence they don't see a real problem with it. It is something that we have to constantly do as nurses, educated people about things they have been doing their entire lives and tell them how to change those habits to something more correct. I know for a fact my mother would be willing give children things I know are inappropriate for a child because that was what was given to her as a child and it was a normal part of childhood for her. You need to quit attacking these people and find someone, who is not apart of the family or friends of the family, to come over and educate the other grandparents on WHY what they use to do is not ok now.
Back the truck up guys...sugar coated sootheres are used for pain control in NICUs all the time, so a lollipop will not hurt the baby. Grandma may be dumber than a bag of hammers, but she didn't cause any damage that time.
As far as having her regularly babysit- I wouldn't send her anyone under 5 years of age, and never for a whole day. Even then, they'd be preloaded with vegetables and armed with a little Maalox and my phone number. She's a little bit nuts IMHO, and should be supervised by someone that will stop her when she doesn't follow parental directions.
Thank you for being a voice of reason. No damage was done. Educate the grandparents in a kind yet firm way.
Has anyone tried to educate the other grandparents other than attack them? People do stupid things because stupid things were done to them when they were younger and they lived through it hence they don't see a real problem with it. It is something that we have to constantly do as nurses, educated people about things they have been doing their entire lives and tell them how to change those habits to something more correct. I know for a fact my mother would be willing give children things I know are inappropriate for a child because that was what was given to her as a child and it was a normal part of childhood for her. You need to quit attacking these people and find someone, who is not apart of the family or friends of the family, to come over and educate the other grandparents on WHY what they use to do is not ok now.
I agree they need to be educated. Unfortunately given the way the OP talks about this family it sounds like there's bad blood and this just added to it. I hope the OP remembers they are her grandson's family as well and remembers to be respectful of them as the child grows up.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
The OP needs more help with this issue than any Internet message board can give.
Thanks to everyone who responded; there is a lot of wisdom here. In sum, though, we cannot offer medical nor legal advice, which is what the OP needs if she intends to take action on behalf of her grandchild.
Wise Woman RN
289 Posts
My mother-in-law recommended a little whiskey and sugar when the baby wouldn't sleep... she drove me crazy and gave me a rash every single time she came over... I didn't let her do most of the stuff she wanted to do... she used to tell me to go in my bedroom to nurse my baby... IN MY OWN HOUSE... what a piece of work she was...