My job

[lovin]

I had a patient today who claimed that I was "dumping" him because I transferred him to a higher level of care.

This is is what I wished I had said, "It is not my job to be friends with my patients. It is my job to take care of you while you are here. To look at everything, even your member, especially if you tell me it hurts and you have a foley. It is my job to advocate for you, to make sure lab comes on time and the provider knows your concerns and mine.

When I finish giving you blood and emptying your drain, I am going to go down the hall and care for a vet with missing front teeth who feels dizzy, alone and afraid, then I am going to care for a bus driver who was in a motor cycle crash, then I am going to discharge a 22 year old kid who was drinking and riding an ATV who has a brain injury and is now going back home to live with his parents. As soon as I finish explaining to this kid and his parents that he cannot be left alone and learn about how they are going to manage this massive life change, the room will be cleaned and I will get another patient. This patient will also get the best care I can provide.

I am a med-surg nurse, I care for everyone whose room number has my name next to it. I am going to do what I think is best for you today, not because I like you or because you are nice, but because it is my job.

[tokmom, BSN, RN]

Maybe his anger toward you came out of fear? Did you ask him why he said that?

[Nola009]

Maybe from emotional, or psychological damage?? Since we are products of our environment, collectiveLy, I don't take much personally.

[Lev, MSN, RN, NP]

Ask him if he wants to die.

[tokmom, BSN, RN]

[quote=Lev

Wow, that's cold

[lovin]

I am pretty good at letting things roll, but for some reason this patient got under my skin. As a nurse, I am sometimes in situations that are personal with my patients, but it bothers me when patients then assume that our relationship is personal rather than professional.

[chiandre]

but it bothers me when patients then assume that our relationship is personal rather than professional.

OP, please remember that when some people are sick, they start exhibiting emotions and behaviors they would not normally show. Some patients become clingy, depressed, angry and anxious. Some patients may even regress to childhood. Since nurses are at the bedside, patients will transfer all their negative and positive emotions to the nurses. Nursing tasks may be professional, but there are some component of personal interaction in the daily dealings with patients. Without this personal component, nurses will not be able to care for their patients holistically.

[ama3t]

I am flattered when my patients like me as a person. Its wonderful when they think I'm a good nurse, but that's what I'm being paid to do. I'm paid to take care of them, not to care about them. But when they can tell I do care about them, and there is a little bit of a personal bond there I like it. I've hugged quite a few of my patients when they left. Maybe its unprofessional, I hope not.

[tokmom, BSN, RN]

I am flattered when my patients like me as a person. Its wonderful when they think I'm a good nurse, but that's what I'm being paid to do. I'm paid to take care of them, not to care about them. But when they can tell I do care about them, and there is a little bit of a personal bond there I like it. I've hugged quite a few of my patients when they left. Maybe its unprofessional, I hope not.

So you don't care about them, but you hug them? I'm confused.

I'm paid to take care of patients to and a few I tolerate and many I genuinely do care about. They are people with fears, hopes and dreams just like me.

Of course it's not unprofessional to hug your patients. I love it when many come back to say thank you and show us how well they are doing. A few I wished I knew more about before they passed.

[erifica]

I wouldn't want you to be my nurse or my family member's nurse.

[lovin]

Hmmm. This is an interesting point, do we need to like our patients to give them high quality care? I try to give everyone my best regardless of my personal feelings for them.

Personally, it rubs me the wrong way when someone assumes that because I have seen intimate parts of their body, or because I am caring towards them that it means that we have an intimate bond. I am a nurse because I care, but often, it is my professionalism that drives me to do the right thing for each patient, each day not my personal connection to the patient.

I see everyone's point about emotional instability and illness and it is probably one of the things that I have the hardest time helping my patients with. I am very much a see a problem and fix it sort of person.

Have you ever tried talking to a patient about their fears, emotional state, etc. when they are being inappropriate with the type of relationship they are trying to have with you?