My husband wants me to quit

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Ok, to make a long story short...I am in nursing school. I was working 36 hrs a week. I work 1 hr away from school so the nights that I work I would go straight to school (did I mention I worked 12's). Anyway, I couldn't keep up the pace so I started just working on weekends. Well, for the past 2 or 3 weeks, my hubby has been saying things like I want you to quit your job b/c I don't get to see you and neither do the kids (I have 2). He controls ALL the money in the house and I don't know on a moment's notice how much we have in the bank. This is the reason why I work. I have never depended on a man as my sole source of income and I'm 29 years old. My husband is controlling of money and if I as him for just a pair of shoes, if he doesn't feel it's important, I don't get it. So I don't know what to do. He also says that he doesn't like me working nights or weekends and I keep thinking how is this going to work when I graduate? What should I do? Has anyone else gone through this too?????? HELP!!!! I feel like my marriage may not work out. I've been married for 2 years!

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He wants you all to himself and he is going to whittle away at you until you have nothing left.

He doesn't want you working, doesn't want you in school, wants you at home, and doesn't give you money.

How many kids do you have and are they his?

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Specializes in OR-ortho, neuro, trauma.

I've been married for 1 year and my husband and I have seperate checking accounts and a combined savings where all of our wedding gift money went. Get your own account, at a totally different bank!!!! If my husband ever told me what I could and couldn't buy with MY hard earned money well...that would never happen.

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He doesn't want me to quit school. He is 100% supportive of that but he wants me to quit working. I have an account but at the same bank as his. I think about opening another account at a different bank all the time. We have 2 kids. Both are his.

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Can you afford to go f/t? That would be ideal if you can.

Can you work out with him that you need money without having to explain everything to him?

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:chuckle He thinks its a joke that I have my own money. He thinks that I'm being selfish if I do. That I'm taking away from the family. He makes over $70,000/yr and I make barely $20,000 now. If I ask him for money he gives me a 20 minute lecture, like I'm a child on the responsibility of money.

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:chuckle He thinks its a joke that I have my own money. He thinks that I'm being selfish if I do. That I'm taking away from the family. He makes over $70,000/yr and I make barely $20,000 now. If I ask him for money he gives me a 20 minute lecture, like I'm a child on the responsibility of money.

Girl, you gotta get that straightened out NOW or your marriage is doomed.

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Specializes in OR-ortho, neuro, trauma.
Girl, you gotta get that straightened out NOW or your marriage is doomed.

Ditto! No excuses you need to get this fixed. You say you're an independent girl then go do it tomorrow.

If you have your own account how can he contol the money???? It's YOUR money!

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You are so right. I'm making an appointment for counseling on Monday.

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Specializes in Nursing Assistant.

You've only been married two years and you guys HAVE to talk to one another. Share your feelings and if you cant fix your problems yourselfs then go to a professonal for help.

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Specializes in LTC/Rehab, Med Surg, Home Care.

You have a marriage problem, not a school problem.

Ok, to make a long story short...I am in nursing school. I was working 36 hrs a week. I work 1 hr away from school so the nights that I work I would go straight to school (did I mention I worked 12's). Anyway, I couldn't keep up the pace so I started just working on weekends. Well, for the past 2 or 3 weeks, my hubby has been saying things like I want you to quit your job b/c I don't get to see you and neither do the kids (I have 2). He controls ALL the money in the house and I don't know on a moment's notice how much we have in the bank. This is the reason why I work. I have never depended on a man as my sole source of income and I'm 29 years old. My husband is controlling of money and if I as him for just a pair of shoes, if he doesn't feel it's important, I don't get it. So I don't know what to do. He also says that he doesn't like me working nights or weekends and I keep thinking how is this going to work when I graduate? What should I do? Has anyone else gone through this too?????? HELP!!!! I feel like my marriage may not work out. I've been married for 2 years!
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Hello Lightbrightgirl,

This sounds a bit tricky. No matter how long ago you guys have been a couple, marriage is a new experience for all. I have been married to my husband for 9 years but we were together for 12 years. I am STILL learning. Money is evil; I work full-time nights at a Casino as a cage cashier and attend nursing school in the day. We have 3 kids. In my years, if a spouse, whether it is a husband or wife, has total contol over finances, the other is in a no-win situation. Communication is the key. Tell him what you expect (shoes, personal "lady" items, an occational treat (b/c YOU deserve it!!!!)) if you are expected to stop working. Concern for your safety is understandable; control over finances is another, entirely. What about when you start working as a nurse? Will you make more than he is? How can he control your professional career? You may have to work nights for the kids scheduals. He may be feeling inadequate about the future and his pending lack of "control". Personally, I like working because I DON"T like to depend on ANYONE for anything. Lots of women make the mistake of depending on Hubby and having the bottom fall out. Working full-time and kids and school is difficult, enough; yet it CAN be done.Independence is a virtue that many may lack; hold on to it.

Good Luck To You..

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