I have not been on this bb for a long time because it sometimes hurts too much to see all I have had to give up. Am glad to find that they introduced this forum (I remember asking Brian several years ago-- but the site has grown so much since then) I have been a nurse as long as I can remember. I have been on SS disability for almost 5 years now. I have so many different dxs that I need a wheelbarrow to carry all my medical records.
I hate not being able to work. I feel that part of my personality has been amputated at times. There are so many times--when I feel ok--that I look through the ads or the internet dreaming of working again. I am caught between a rock and a hard place. I had obtained my BSN (after being LPN and then ADN for many years). I was very proud to reach this milestone--as I had been in nursing education and this would open other doors for me. I went into education when I could no longer work on unit anymore. Anyway I digress--I now am looking at a 20,000$ student loan for a degree I can't use. If i try to find something part time that utilizes my knowledge and experience--I have to pay this loan (have already gone through bankruptcy but they don't discharge student loans). I can't possibly make as much as I get on disability and then add an extra 500 payment to my bills and I would be living in street with my family.
In order to get a medical discharge for student loan my Dr. has to say that I can never work in any capacity. I don't feel morally right about this. I have so much knowledge and experince that screams to leave my mind and share. There has to be something I can do in this wide nursing world. BUt then I come back to having to pay my loan.
I have been rambling on long enough. For anyone still with me at this point--I thank you. All I do know is that I am still a Nurse. It is as much a part of me as being a mother, wife, daughter, and friend.