So anyway mom is slowly but surely getting settled in her new living arrangement - She finally got a proper psych evaluation and some medication that helps without making her into a Zombie. Understand I have no great love for my mother who physically and emotionally abuse to my siblings and myself from the day we were born. However I like to believe that I am a compassionate person and would not want her mis-treated.
What has happed however, is that I am suddenly having some very serious panic reactions, and PTSD symptoms that I have not had for years. Not sleeping, breaking out in a cols sweat, feelings of nameless dread and fear. So far I have stayed sober with the help of AA and my personal support system and went looking for the old counselor who helped me through most of this 10 years ago but alas she has left private practice and moved in academia and the mental health services with my current health Ins sucks. So I go to meetings and talk about it there.
I guess an abused child can never become a child who was not abused and it's really hard for normal people who had loving mothers to understand.
Just venting really - hope someone out there "Gets It".
