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I can remember a few of these, and thought we'd all get a laugh from sharing. My most, most, MOST horrible one was this:
Working in a 60-bed nursing home, I was caring for a gentleman with terminal cancer. He was having the two-hourly S/C morphine, two hourly pressure care, the whole bit. He had been Cheynne-Stoking off and on for the last 24 hours, and the family was with him as he began to depart this life.
This morning I just knew that today was the day he would die. You just get that when you look at these people sometimes. There were four children, his wife, and several siblings around the bed, and I did my best to care for Stephen and his family, while not intruding too much on this painful moment. Came the time when he was due for he next dose of morphine and pressure care, my colleague and I had an intense discussion. Stephen was so far gone that I was concerned that he would die if we moved him, and I knew his family wanted to be with him for the moment of death. I delayed the pressure care for another hour, waiting for the inevitable. When Stephen was still going slowly, I decided that the need to move his emaciated body could not be put off much longer.
I went to the bed, and explained to the family that Stephen really did need to be rolled onto his other side, and that we would be very quick. They all trooped out, and my colleague and I set to work. First we gave the morphine, then gently placed our arms under Stephen to roll him. He have a loud "Aaa....hhhhhhh.......a." and stopped breathing. Cursing under my breath at the timing, I waited for several minutes to be sure that this wasn't just another episode of Cheynne-Stoking. I even got my stethescope and checked for a heartbeat. Nothing.
Feeling guilty and sad for the family, we settle Stephen onto his back, tidied him, and I went to break the news to the relatives. There was an understandable outpouring of cries and wails as they realized Stephen would never be with them again. They were not angry, just sad that he had finally gone. I stayed with them, and then offered to escort them into the room to say their last goodbyes.
All 8 relatives, weeping, followed me into the room to see Stephen peacefully relaxed on his back. They crowded around, touching him, and I stepped back to give them room, tears in my own eyes as I shared their grief.
To my shock and absolute horror, Stephen took one huge shuddering breath,...then another,...............and another! I stood there in utter shock, as this man 'came back from the dead'. The effect on his relatives was not pretty to watch. They were excited, happy, grieved, shocked, and confused. Again, they were not angry at me (must have been saints!), as I stood there watching. The only thing I could think of to say was "But he WAS dead!" :imbar (I'd verified it myself.)
I waited until the family had settled somewhat, then backed out of the room. I felt about two inches tall, and utterly confused!
I never wanted to look these people in the eye again. First I'd killed their dad, then told them he was dead and upset them all, then he came back to life!!
I cried in the toilet for a while, as you do, then went back to the nurses desk. Several minutes later, all the family silently trooped out of the room and towards the front door. They were calm and collected, one detached from the group and came towards me.
"He's gone now. He died about ten minutes after we went into the room. He just wanted to wait until we were all there before he went. That's why he came back for us all.":redpinkhe
I have NEVER experienced embarrassment at that level in my life, before or sice!
We just got an admission and this guy had wounds everywhere. Anyhow, I was a new nurse, and a bit overwhelmed. My charge nurse told me we need to take pictures of all of these wounds.....in my state of shock I asked him "with what?"...sigh....never thought of a camera! He promptly asked me if I wanted a crayon so I could draw them for the chart.
I just thought I'd share this.
Back when I was working in a rather posh, private pay LTC, we had the options of dressing down on Fridays. Most of the staff really liked coming into work in their jeans, though I disliked it and never did.
Anyway, it was close to Hallowe'en. As all us aides were lined up waiting to punch out for the shift, a young (and sometimes, quite silly) aide asked us if we were going to dress up. We all thought she meant dress down in jeans. What she actually said didn't register.
I said, "Nah, I never do. I don't like it." Several of the other aides said, "Sure!"
This girl was very happy... a little too happy... to hear this and danced out the door singing that we all better be dressed up tomorrow.
She was gone in a flash and we had a moment to reflect. I felt a panicky feeling (you know the discomfort you get in a potentially embarrassing situation) and slowly said, "Did she say 'dress down'... or 'up'?"
Nobody was sure at that point.
I could not wait for tomorrow.
The break room for report had a huge picture window that looked directly out to the employee parking lot. My friend, Michelle, and I made sure we were sitting right in front of it. We were dying of curiosity to see what exactly this girl was going to be wearing. I had pretty much convinced myself I had misheard her and she was, indeed, going to be wearing jeans (which was okay).
Finally, we see the girl's car pull into the lot. She gets out... and Michelle and I about pee our pants.
Not only is this girl dressed up for Hallowe'en... she is dressed up in one of those really long t-shirts that are printed to look like scanty lingerie so it looks like your wearing a teddy... garters and all.
It would not really have been an appropriate costume anyway, but we were not wearing costumes to work anyway... and to top it off, the home was soooo posh and uptight!
I literally fell out of my chair and I HURT from laughing... oh, and I was sooo embarrassed for this poor girl too!
Everyone was quite amused and the poor girl about died.
The owner/administrator (quite the stuffed shirt) saw her costume. His response, "That is an interesting costume!"
The patients actually thought it was very funny... especially the old men.
I felt very bad for her, but I can't help it. I still laugh out loud at the image of her getting out of her car in that get up and Michelle doubling over, barely able to breathe, chanting, "NO WAY, oh hell no, NO WAY!"
Oh, yeah... and the time I was working in the dining room...
You have to understand, when I'm tired, nothing comes out of my mouth quite right. I'll stutter or have complete blanks... or worse.
So, I'm working in the dining room and we are serving pork chops. On this day, the pork chops were actually nice and tender, for a change.
Happy, I said loud to the HOH pt I was serving, "Oh look, Lottie! We porked the cook good!"
It was a true Spoonerism at its finest.
Everyone heard it and I would often get heat about it.
I once had a hospice pt whose wife was at rimes difficult to deal with. Her name was Drucilla and around the office we some how started referring to her as Cruella. I was in her home one day near halloween and had on a scrb top with Cruella on it. Her little granddaughter pointed to Cruella on my top and asked "Who is that?" I blurted out "oh that is Drucilla" Then quickly tried to correct myself and say Cruella. The pts wife was not amused. My face was beet red.
Poor guy must have thought that was the flattest tasting broth he ever had.Okay, here is another...now, this one happened to a good girlfriend of mine in RN school, but is funny nonetheless:We were feeding patients in the hospital on clinicals. My friend, "Patty" was helping this elderly man. She said he only had liquids on his tray, so she started off with the broth. She stirred up the cup, then was spoon feeding it to him. With each bite, he gave her a funny look but she thought he was just being nice, so she gives him the whole cup. Then she moves on towards Jello...underneath the Jello bowl however, was the broth powder; she had fed this guy nothing but a hot cup of water! (No wonder the funny looks from the man)
Blessings, Michelle
Beautiful story honey. No need for embarassment at all. It happens. Just ask a hospice nurse with many years of experience. She will tell you.I can remember a few of these, and thought we'd all get a laugh from sharing. My most, most, MOST horrible one was this:Working in a 60-bed nursing home, I was caring for a gentleman with terminal cancer. He was having the two-hourly S/C morphine, two hourly pressure care, the whole bit. He had been Cheynne-Stoking off and on for the last 24 hours, and the family was with him as he began to depart this life.
This morning I just knew that today was the day he would die. You just get that when you look at these people sometimes. There were four children, his wife, and several siblings around the bed, and I did my best to care for Stephen and his family, while not intruding too much on this painful moment. Came the time when he was due for he next dose of morphine and pressure care, my colleague and I had an intense discussion. Stephen was so far gone that I was concerned that he would die if we moved him, and I knew his family wanted to be with him for the moment of death. I delayed the pressue care for another hour, waiting for the inevitable. When Stephen was still going slowly, I decided that the need to move his emaciated body could not be put off much longer.
I went to the bed, and explained to the family that Stephen really did need to be rolled onto his other side, and that we would be very quick. They all trooped out, and my colleague and I set to work. First we gave the morphine, then gently placed our arms under Stephen to roll him. He have a loud "Aaa....hhhhhhh.......a." and stopped breathing. Cursing under my breath at the timing, I waited for several minutes to be sure that this wasn't just another episode of Cheynne-Stoking. I even got my stethescope and checked for a heartbeat. Nothing.
Feeling guilty and sad for the family, we settle Stephen onto his back, tidied him, and I went to break the news to the relatives. There was an understandable outpouring of cries and wails as they realised Stephen would never be with them again. They were not angry, just sad that he had finally gone. I stayed with them, and then offered to escort them into the room to say their last goodbyes.
All 8 relatives, weeping, followed me into the room to see Stephen peacefully relaxed on his back. They crowded around, touching him, and I stepped back to give them room, tears in my own eyes as I shared their grief.
To my shock and absolute horror, Stephen took one huge shuddering breath,...then another,...............and another! I stood there in utter shock, as this man 'came back from the dead'. The effect on his relatives was not pretty to watch. They were excited, happy, grieved, shocked, and confused. Again, they were not angry at me (must have been saints!), as I stood there watching. The only thing I could think of to say was "But he WAS dead!" :imbar (I'd verified it myself.)
I waited until the family had settled somewhat, then backed out of the room. I felt about two inches tall, and utterly confused!
I never wanted to look these people in the eye again. First I'd killed their dad, then told them he was dead and upset them all, then he came back to life!!
I cried in the toilet for a while, as you do, then went back to the nurses desk. Several minutes later, all the family silently trooped out of the room and towards the front door. They were calm and collected One detatched from the group and came towards me.
"He's gone now. He died about ten minutes after we went into the room. He just wanted to wait until we were all there before he went. That's why he came back for us all.":redpinkhe
I have NEVER experienced embarassment at that level in my life, before or sice!
Alright, another from my archives:
One night I worked as an aide in the nursing home (frequently I requested the floor to avoid the stress of being in charge every now and then, plus it kept me updated when I did the care plans). Anyway, I was working with a male aide who I later married and is still my hubby to this day. Back on this particular evening though, we were still just friends. Anyway, during final bed-check of the night, we went to check on a Downs' syndrome patient. He was dirty (feces) so I proceeded to put gloves on and get the washrags ready. My male aide held him because he was very heavy and awkward, while I wiped. Well, every good aide knows to wash front to back so I started with his groin area which of course included his member. As I was washing his member, he became very erect and I became very red in the face. Finally, I was so afraid of what might happen (orgasm) that I told the male aide I was going to do his backside then come back to the member hoping it would have gone down. So the male aide is holding him for me while I wiped and I finished the back. There was still some feces on his member though and he was still quite erect. I tried to get my male aide to wash him but he couldn't contain himself and was laughing, so I went ahead and washed it then I noticed the resident starting an orgasm; my male aide let go of him and semen went everywhere.
The male aide as I said, is now my husband...and still teases me about it to this day!
Blessings, Michelle
At my old place of employment, many many years ago, the dress code was pure white. It was also rather old-fashioned. As late as 1995 or so, the nurses still wore caps and aides and nurses alike still work dresses! It was to maintain the nursing image our administrator felt his elderly and posh clientele associated with professionalism... I personally felt he harbored a bit of a secret fetish in that area, but I'll let that one go... any way...
I was starched and ironed in my cute little dress with white tights and spotless white shoes. I was emptying an alert and oriented (and quite proper) old gal's colostomy. I had done it a million times before with no problem. She was sitting on the toilet as I emptied the colostomy into the bedpan. I set it on the floor to clean her stoma and apply a clean bag.
She told me to be careful! Don't step in the pan!
No problem! Never would do that, uh uh... not ME!
Well, what do I do?
Sure enough, I stepped on the edge of the fracture pan, flipped it, and found my cute little self and my whites dripping in muck.
I was splashed all down my front, all down my hose and into my pretty white shoes.
The pt was mortified and I felt positively stupid.
I calmed stood there (I ALWAYS remain calm... coworkers find that very amusing) and cooly assessed my uniform. I slowly say, "Well, Violet, I did it."
She burst out laughing at me.
I finished her up (what else can you do?) and proceeded to get a coworker to go to laundry to find me some donated clothes.
I had to wear double-knit polyester white old lady pants (quite embarrassing for a fashion-conscious 19 year-old gal), bootie socks and 2 hospital gowns. I looked totally stupid.
Everyone had a good laugh and the other aides said I was their new confused patient.
I still had to to put patients to bed and they all wanted to know why I was dressed so funny.
Aaah, it was humbling!
I don't know why, I guess the need is there, but out of about 6 or 7 nursing homes in our area, I sort of went from job to job and now can say I've worked at most all of them. Well, the third one I worked at, the charge nurse had to check in new meds brought in by pharmacy couriers. One night I was checking in meds and noticed that they had been sent to us in error, as they were to go to a different nursing home. I didn't notice this until I started taking out the meds...when I was looking at the labels on the cards, I noticed something really kind of funny...it was all birth control pills and Viagra...going to another nursing home in our area. I thought it funny...but maybe they kept younger patients at that nursing home; I never did find out.
Blessings, Michelle
As a new nurse, I was orienting with a nurse who was kind of a brute to say the least. We had a pt that had a PEG tube and it needed to be flushed. I knew the procedure b/c it's pretty simple but before I even had time to grab my toomey syringe, she handed me one full of water, plunger and all. Knowing that you shouldn't use a plunger to flush the PEG, without thinking I removed the plunger...and promptly gave the patient a bath. To make matters worse, the nurse told everyone on the unit about it!
mondkmondk
336 Posts
I have many more...but will have to wait til tomorrow...gotta get my beauty sleep, haha!
Blessings, Michelle