I saw this post on another general discussion website, and by far this is the most disgusting thing i have read.
TheAmbassador posted:
My aunt is a nurse, and she told me a hell of a story about this. Wasn't too outrageous, but its just a testament to a man's dedication to sex.
She was assisting a doctor with a severely morbidly obese woman. Apparently she had managed to contract a huge amount of STD's, which she had ignored for months, because apparently the hideous stench of it wasn't able to overpower the stench from the months of sweat and dirt accumulated in her folds. Side note about that, think about the last time you worked outdoors with your hands. If you rubbed your hands together, little balls of dirt mixed with sweat would form. Imagine those now to be nearly basketball sized and flattened, mixed with discharge from yeast infections stored for months in the folds of fat. That is this woman.
Anyway, my aunts job was to hold the folds up while the doctor went in to clean up. She's a nurse, she's cleaned **** and puke off old people that was there so long it began to corrode their skin, and she had to leave to vomit.
After everything is done, the woman's husband shows up, skinny, ratty looking guy, and she asks for him to be let in. At one point, talking to the man, the doctor asked, out of sheer curiosity, how the two of them have sex. The man was happy to answer.
He places her into the corner of the room, face first. Then, using a lot of tape, straps each of her butt cheeks to the wall, and ***** her until they tear free.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
elderly diabetic in chf, on a fluid restriction. kept complaining that he was thirsty, i kept explaining the fluid restriction. attending physician in a lovely suit comes in to visit his patient, and seconds later comes stomping down to the nurse's station bellowing for "mr. benson's nurse." seems mr. benson was quite contentedly sipping from his urinal when his doctor came to visit. the sad part is, i was so nervous i started to laugh, and then couldn't stop. that attending hated me for the rest of my stay at that community hospital.
Had a little old lady who had rectocele and a prolapsed rectum and could never really tell if she was going potty or not. We'd take her to the bathroom and a little bit of poop would always end up on the floor. She'd then get up off the toilet with her underwear still down and demand that we wipe up the poop. She'd then be standing in the bathroom going round in circles saying "You missed that bit, you missed another bit" as the poop was coming out the other end. "See, there's another bit!" She would only sit down once all the poop was wiped up. Poor thing didn't realize she was going around in circles creating more mess the whole time.
I feel mean recounting that as she was a sweet old thing but it was funny in it's own way.
Specializes in acute rehab, med surg, LTC, peds, home c.
We were cleaning up a pt that had diarrhea, PROJECTILE diarrhea. We had him turned to the side and the nurse I was helping was cleaning him. He Projectile POOPED on her face!!!! Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase ****faced.
Years ago, I was getting ready to go home and noticed one of my patients had his light on. So I went to answer it real quick. He was very glad I got there so quick, because he had to go real bad to the commode.
So I was hurrying as fast as I could, grabbed and unplugged his IV pole, moved his bedside table quickly so that he could get out of bed, and you know how those wheels get caught on things, I bumped into the wheels on his bed and his COMPLETELY full urinal tips over and spills down my leg and my shoe was squishy from all the urine as I walk down the hall. BLECK!!
I had a similar situation with a guy with a foley and VRE in urine. I went to empty his full to capacity leg bag and somehow, the minute I uncapped it, pee started shooting all over me. I was crouched down and he was sitting on the bed, so pee got all over every single article of clothing I was wearing, especially my long sleeve shirt and pants. Surprisingly none got on him at all. Now I hold those things way up when emptying them.
I got a new admit from the ER who was a "dump and drive". The woman (in her late 40's) was basically unresponsive and apparently had been assaulted in the recent past, judging from the amount and coloring of the bruising all over her. She tested positive for multiple drugs, as well as an ETOH level in the 400's. She was admitted under a fake name, b/c she had no ID and was too out of it to tell anyone her name.
Her hair had a bad dye job, her nails were done, she had multiple badly done tattoos, and she was clean shaved from her hips down. Her clothes reeked of pot. Her coat was a cropped, fake fur style that was all matted and had cigarette burns on it. Her appearance, her circumstances, and her clothing all screamed "hooker" like a flashing neon light.
When she came to the floor, we put her belongings (already bagged up, except for the coat) right into the closet. As we slid her over to the bed, I noticed that the gown the ED had put on her didn't have a pocket or snaps, so I went to get a new gown for her (she was on tele and had IVF running). The tech and I pulled the sheets back and rolled her onto her right side to start changing the gown. We rolled her onto her left side to finish changing it out.
(Keep in mind that at this point, the woman had already been given a brief scrub down in the ED; all belongings had gone straight into the closet; and she had been moved from a stretcher to a bed with brand new linens.)
We were finishing up snapping the arms of the gown up (her IV was on that side) and still had the sheets pulled down b/c I still had to do her skin assessment. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and looked down at the bed and saw...
THREE HUGE COCKROACHES running down from between her legs, over them, and onto the floor off of the bed.
The tech about fell over laughing after she got done squishing them...I was about eight months pregnant at the time, and she said she's never seen someone that pregnant run that fast!
Ruby Vee, BSN
17 Articles; 14,051 Posts
elderly diabetic in chf, on a fluid restriction. kept complaining that he was thirsty, i kept explaining the fluid restriction. attending physician in a lovely suit comes in to visit his patient, and seconds later comes stomping down to the nurse's station bellowing for "mr. benson's nurse." seems mr. benson was quite contentedly sipping from his urinal when his doctor came to visit. the sad part is, i was so nervous i started to laugh, and then couldn't stop. that attending hated me for the rest of my stay at that community hospital.