Mommyhood and Grad School

Spacklehead, MSN, NP · Apr 26, 2009

I started grad school four years ago when my oldest was 2 at the time and my youngest was about 6 mos. I will graduate in a few weeks with my MSN as a FNP. I will admit, it was difficult at times - trying to write papers and study for exams is not easy when you have two children who are not independent. I did most of my school work late at night after the kids were sleeping, or during the day while they napped.

I also only worked per diem, since with school and such a young family, I needed a lot of time to get things done. I only picked up weekend night hours, and tried to work my schedule around when papers were due or when exams were being given.

I also needed to find a babysitter for when I had class/clinicals, since my husband worked during the day, and we didn't have family in the area. That would be one of my biggest suggestions - if you are going for a MSN where you need to do clinical hours, try figuring out what your babysitting options are now - you don't want to wait until the last minute to figure this out.

I must admit, having a very supportive husband was what made this doable for me. He would take the kids out if I needed time alone to get a paper written; he would leave work early or take the day off if I couldn't find a sitter for a day I needed to be on campus or at clinical; and he would provide encouragement when things seemed difficult. I can't thank him enough!

Best of luck to you - I'm sure you will be able to find a way to make it work.

StaRNew · Apr 26, 2009

Thank you so much for responding! It will help me tremendously. My hospital agreed to pay to send me to school so I must maintain 3 nights a week with them. I hope to finish the program in 2.5 years which is a part-time schedule. My 23 month old is in montessori school and I plan on enrolling my son next year when he is about 18 months. I will work mostly weekends, so I can spend most evenings and mornings with my children and husband. During the day I will study. I start clinicals in 18 months and will try to schedule them during the week when they are at work or school.

The last two years my husband was studying towards his MBA and we made it work. We missed a few events, but for the most part our family life did not suffer. I have seen him balance a bottle, baby and textbook...LOL.

I am anxious and hopeful for this new chapter, and I know that all my prioritization skills and multitasking that nursing has given me I will have to use in the next few years!

CONGRATS on almost finishing! I wish you the best with your career and family.

BBFRN, BSN, PhD · Apr 27, 2009

FWIW, I have 3 kids ranging in age from 3 to 17. With planning, and a supportive spouse on your side, you can do it.

mom2cka · Apr 27, 2009

I'm starting this fall on a PT route (giving myself 3-5 years to complete), and have a 9-year-old, 2-year-old, and baby due in July. I have a very, very supportive husband - the only way I could personally do this without feeling the guilt so many of my coworkers think that I should feel because I'm 'neglecting' my kids. I disagree - I'm realistic and know that I need to work, and I want more from an education and career - this is the way to do that. My husband is a stay-at-home dad, and I work full-time; we're hoping that won't change, as it's the only way to make ends meet right now, and cover the student loans from my BAN and his AA - but it worked before, and that's when we both worked and went to school and had an active preschooler-kindergartner ... I also tended to do my homework before I left school, at night after my son was asleep, on days off, etc., so I would have family time be family time. I know it will be tough, but hopefully rewarding as well. I'm pretty driven, and stubborn, so that helps me keep the end goal in site. I will take it semester by semester. Good luck to you! Don't let 'others' tell you what's best for you and your family.

StaRNew · Apr 27, 2009

It is amazing what my co-workers have told me, one fellow RN told me that she did not know how she would feel about others raising her children. That one stung just for a second, then I realized that was not what I was setting out to do. In the end I hope that my children will see that dreams take some sacrifice and alot of hard work BUT they are not impossible once you pursue them in the right way.

Thank you so much for the tips, I really would like to preserve family time without interruptions...which will take time management.

Which reminds me about this NYtimes article that I read about the CEO of Delta, he had some great tips that I plan on intergrating into my life and I will share them with you...

Q. What about time management?

A. Only touch paper once. No. 2, always have your homework done. No. 3, return your calls very promptly. No. 4, stick to your schedule. I keep my watch about 10 minutes ahead. It’s important to run on time, particularly at an airline. And use your time wisely. And then, once a month, take the rest of the calendar year, or the next six months and re-review how you are using your time and reprioritize what you’re doing.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/26/business/26corner.html?pagewanted=2&_r=1&em

allnurses Guide · Apr 27, 2009

A girl in my grad school classes has seven children. I am constantly amazed at how she does that, plus work, plus study. Mums are incredible!

BBFRN, BSN, PhD · Apr 27, 2009

Randy Pausch lecture on time management (especially geared for grad students).

I also suggest using Google Calendar. :up:

psychVARN · Apr 28, 2009

Hi! I was just accepted to an online MSN/NP Program. My daughter is 4 and I work full time. My husband has been supportive since the day I typed my Letter of Intent. I realize it will be difficult at times but why not go for it! I have heard from friends how they do not want to sacrifice their children and being home for family time. I felt as if I was being told my sacrifice is "selfish." I have heard them say..."the stress was not worth the balance in their families... " I have to agree...if it will be detrimental to their lives then of course, do not attempt such an endeavor...but I want to try and with the support of my husband and babysitter......I look forward to the late night studying! :) So I say! Go for it!

BBFRN, BSN, PhD · Apr 29, 2009

Don't ever feel guilty for getting that additional education, and moving up the career ladder. That's a woman thing- we all do it (or have done it) to a certain degree.

Maybe they're just afraid they'll fail, and they're rationalizing why they don't dare try to do what you're doing.

Most of my classmates are parents, as are most of my professors. Your kids will be proud of what you've accomplished in life, and will be more likely to obtain graduate education themselves when they grow older.

It is entirely possible to achieve a work/school/life balance in grad school. You will still be able to be a parent, and may even be more available emotionally when you're done, because your job might not be as stressful as bedside nursing.

I've been in school for most of my career (went from LPN-ASN-BSN, and now working on PhD). Every step I took allowed me to obtain less stressful but still rewarding jobs. I am much more laid back and available to my kids now than I was working my tail off to make ends meet as a LPN.

mom2cka · Apr 29, 2009

I had good role models, so as I was in school, I knew that I would be going back, and that it was doable. All of my instructors were working mothers (with the exception of 1 working father) who obtained their degrees while raising their kids. Good luck to us all :)

StaRNew · Apr 29, 2009

will set up google calender and sync it with my school and hubbies schedules.