Mom and Nursing Student: What should I do? How should I do this?

ToJayRobin · Jul 1, 2015

Thank you for your tough love. I truly needed it. I have to toughen up and get to work. No it is not my child's fault. She didn't ask for this to be happening right now. I do not think other neglect their children. I certainly hope they don't. I just want some idea or way to balance being a nursing student and being a mom teaching ABCs shapes and colors.

BreBeeNeuroNurse · Jul 1, 2015

When your husband is home, make sure he is taking care of your child so you can study. Your child is young enough that she won't notice when you are not there 24/7 it's better to do this while she and you are both young. If you have to study with her, make her part of your study habits, make songs using your pharm vocab etc. yeah that sounds silly but anything is going to help you. I think you know that you didn't give it 110% and you're regretting it so that's why you're using such self demeaning talk. If you want it you have to work for it and your daughter will thank you later and will look up to you for doing it for your family. Good luck to you.

PlaidPaisley · Jul 1, 2015

Mine were 4 and 7 when I started. My phone message said, "I am either studying, playing with my children, or sleeping." I was as single parent with little outside help. Sometimes I wonder how I made it through! Somehow you just do it. I found that taking my children to a great park, where I could sit and study and watch them, was one of the best ideas I had. Only you can decide what is best for your family. P.S. I had to drop one patho class one semester, which made me graduate one semester later. Sometimes I think back and kick myself for not pushing through....but then again, I am grateful that I did what was right for my situation at the time. Best wishes.

NurseGirl525, ASN, RN · Jul 1, 2015

I'm going to throw my 2 cents in here. I was a SAHM for 7 years. I absolutely loved it. But when my son started school full time when he was 5, I didn't like being at home all day. I was tired of just cooking and cleaning all of the time. My husband at the time, told me I didn't need to work and he wasn't paying for me to go to school. I had started my prereqs before I was married and quit because once I got married, my husband didn't want me going to school. So after 2 years of arguing about it, I filed for divorce and signed up for school in the same week. My son had just started second grade.

I was juggling adjusting to being a single mom, going through a divorce, and taking 5 classes that fall semester. My son was devastated by the divorce and the absolute last thing I wanted to do was neglect him or take any time away from him. So, I got really organized. I started scheduling everything. I have a great support system in place with friends who help me out all the time because I have no family here. I made sure I made time for my son every day. He was old enough though to understand when I needed to study. He can entertain himself. Your child is a little younger.

Only you can make the decision of whether or not this is the right time for you. Personally, I wouldn't have traded my SAHM years for anything. I feel fortunate that I could do that, as not everyone can. Young children are obviously very needy. They can't do for themselves yet. I can say my path was much easier because I took my classes while my son was in school. I studied while he was in school and on days he was with his dad. It will be difficult if you choose to keep going, but I can't stress enough to organize every aspect of your life. It will make things much easier.

Sizzline · Jul 1, 2015

If you really want to do this, you can. It is definitely about being devoted to school, though; my entire family is making a lot of sacrifices to make this work. My children are 2 and 5, and I will be starting my 2nd semester of nursing classes next month. On my husbands days off, I spend the bulk of one day at school. I go to the open lab and practice my skills for several hours, then take a break for lunch, and then go to the library to do several hours of studying in peace and quiet. I also study during my younger daughter's nap time, and stay up late to study after she is in bed. I pretty much survive on coffee during the school semester. LOL

My house is much messier than I am used to, and my husband has had to step up a lot when it comes to household work. He does a lot more of the cleaning, cooks several nights a week, and knows that he is "on call" if one of the kids wakes up at night while I am studying. It's definitely not easy, but we had a long talk about expectations before the semester started, and we both know that it is a temporary situation. I miss spending as much time with my girls as I would like, but again, I know it is temporary and I want to instill in them a sense of how important education is. I will be very proud to look out at my graduation and see my kids sitting there, as we have all done this together, in a sense.

LonghornChic, BSN · Jul 1, 2015

Nursing school and parenting is very doable. HARD but doable. Here is a little background on me: 30 year old mother to a 6 year old and 13 year old (I was a teenage parent to boot). Did pre-reqs at a very part time rate for 4 years at local CC while working 50-60 hrs full time. I am now in my third year at UT Austin BSN program with a 3.96 GPA and top 10% of my junior 1 class. I still work 6-8 hrs part time, mostly on the weekends (5 am-8/9 am Sat/Sun) YOU CAN DO IT AND EXCEL AT IT WHILE DOING IT.

Home life and school life can conflict with each other but if you manage well and ask others to help, both of those disciplines can coexist. My husband worked from dusk until dawn so I was pretty much a single mother. I made simple meals and prepared meals ahead of time as much as possible. Cleaning was done in spurts through out the week and laundry was done on the weekends and usually early in the mornings. If you have family close by or your husband has some free time, do not be afraid to ask them for help with childcare if you need to study (and they are available).

How you manage your study time and your study style is incredibly important! When my school schedule allows for one day off during the week (say class only M/T/W/Th) then that one off day becomes my study day...ALL DAY. Granted I had a a class schedule that I could make work with my home life. I write out a list of things that I need to study for or work on (from most important to least) and give each an allotted time and I stick to this schedule. As important is the time you carve out DAILY to study. I allowed for at least 1.5-2 hours of daily studying on my most difficult subjects (e.g: Pharm). Most professors suggest about 2-3 hours of studying per class hour. For me that would require between 30-45 hours of studying a week. Sounds horrible but very necessary. Here is an example of my study/home schedule for a 15 hour class semester: Pharmacology, Med Term, Ethics, Physiology Lab and Lecture.

Tuesday-Friday

Class from 8:15 am-3:00 pm (Studying during breaks and before class from 7:15-8:30)

Home from 4:00-8:30 pm: Cook, minor cleaning, bathing, kids HW

Study from 8:30-11:30 pm (mostly Phys and Pharm)

Friday

STUDY all day

7:30-9:30 am Phys

9:30 am-12:30 Pharm

12:30-1 pm Lunch Break

1:00 pm-2:00 Ethics

2:00 pm-3:00 pm Med Term

Ethics and Med Term were not that hard for me so I sometimes used those slots to work on class projects as needed.

Saturday and Sunday:

Set at least 4-5 hours aside each day to study and work on projects/papers (if this means at midnight, then at midnight it is).

Your study style can make or break you. You have to find out what works best for you and does not waste valuable study time in the process. I used flash cards and notes (not detailed either). For more difficult subjects I used my textbooks as references. Quizlets are very helpful! Especially for Pharmacology. I didn't do well with group studying (too much talking) or maybe I simply have not found a good study group. Another thing that worked for me was pre-reading the lecture subject BEFORE the class. This helped my better understand the subject, research the material before hand, and ask questions (or listen more intently) when it was mentioned during class. Attending office hours and open lab is very helpful. It also shows the teacher that you are actually making an attempt to learn. You might even get a reference letter or two from professors who admire your work ethic.

Yes, all this sounds crazy but this is what has worked and keeps working for me. You can do it, you just have to be very disciplined during this time. I think that what makes all this worth it for me is that my children are very proud of what I am doing and strive to "mimic" my study skills. That in and of itself makes the hard work doable.

MommaTy · Jul 2, 2015

I have 5 children ages 11, 10, 9, 5, and 3. I just completed the RN program at my community college May 29, 2015. I also worked 7p-7:30a two nights a week. Was it easy NO WAY, is it something I wanted YES, and I did whatever I had to to achieve my dream. I also passed the NCLEX on June 23, 2015. You just need to study hard, this is one of the hardest programs out there. You need to figure out if this is something you really want or not. For me it was something I wouldn't give up no matter what.

ToJayRobin · Jul 3, 2015

All of your comments have truly left me encouraged. I want this badly. My whole life I have been working towards this goal. I became a Nurse Assistant in high school just to get a head start on the medical field. Thank you all for your stories and words of wisdom. I'm getting started on adjusting our schedule. My husband is going to take on more roles at home. My mother, sisters, and brother are all ready to help us out a great deal. I'm going to do this! Thank you all. I'm so excited to go forward on this journey. Before I know it, I'll be an RN and ready for my next task. If anyone has any more organization tips, Im all ears! Thank you.

bamaguh1988 · Jul 3, 2015

I started nursing school when my son was only 11 months old & I'm currently about to finish my third semester. It's totally possible! I get not wanting to neglect your child but you have to use your time wisely. Find ways for him/her to stay self entertained. Or maybe consider day care?

JaaaeyRN · Jul 3, 2015

Failing pharm doesn't make you a bad nurse. Yes you need to know it in order to pass medication. I failed it before because of the language barrier. I retook it and managed to get an A.

audrac83 · Jul 3, 2015

Definitely don't consider quitting! You are smart enough and you will be a nurse one day. I think you said community college so I'm assuming it's a 2yr program and it will be over before you know it! I'm now in my 3rd semester and although I passed my classes with A's I have to also re-take my dosage exam since I got a 93% and passing was 95% but so what, what a blessing that we get to re-take it and expect that you will pass. I now don't have other classes and exams and can devote more time to the drug exam so will be able to study adequately and so will you. It is tough having a little one while in school but it's doable this short lived sacraficd will be such a blessing for your family in the long run and to encourage you we have several girls in our cohort who found out they're pregnant it either have a newborn and they are pushing through. I feel like getting through nursing school is such a head game. When taking nursing communications I remember my nursing instructor stressing how important it is to self-talk and speak of yourself positively. Don't let your instructor discourage you, you have the same mind anyone else has...in life there will always be obstacles... Surround yourself with resilient people because it will encourage you to keep pushing. I always talk to those a semester ahead of me to get insight on how they navigated an issue such as not passing a dosage exam and it always encouraged me to keep pushing, they did and they're now on to the next semester. You completed your pre-reqs required to get into nursing school soo your obviously qualified don't doubt yourself... I also fine tuned my study plan after watching different nursing gurus on YouTube explain how to study and it helped me get my A's if you would like any of the tips feel free to email me audrac83 @ gmail. Good luck and you got this!

ckwicky · Jul 3, 2015

I understand what your goimg through since i had a hard time in nursing school and was pregnant. I failed pharmacology also but had the chance to take it in the summer at another school. There was times i felt I couldn't make it or maybe nursing wasn't for me but i knew it was. My last year i got pregnant big belly and all but i continued to go to clinicals and i even took him to 1 lectire class i had but with help i made it. Don't give up especially if you have the support system. My challenge is the nclex because I've been out of school so long,allowed circumstances to get in the way and failed the test 5 times ,but im still trying again. Just have faith and pray. Try to study the categories and not all the meds since there are so many and you'll do fine. You will be an RN soon. Good luck.