Mom and Nursing Student: What should I do? How should I do this?

Kate 123 · Jul 3, 2015

Hello Future Nurse

My advice to you is to first add to your support systems. Secondly, strip yourself any hidden guilt associated with dedicating yourself to your studies. Love often means sacrifice, you and your family will and can make it through this period of growth. Find child care that takes drop-ins., (don't have the money, research child care programs and supplements). More importantly, find a study group now; that can help you master the material. Here's your chance to add to your critical thinking skills. Keep it moving. Remember nurses are exceptional planners and executioners. You can do this . . .

I am the nursing professor who once looked a lot like you, some twenty years ago . . .

tyty123 · Jul 3, 2015

I've been where you are at not and also share the same or similar passions. I had my first child when I was twenty and as a young mother I wanted to achieve the same goals ,at the time I was a working mother of a 1 yr old and attending medic school which can be just as demanding .i would often fill like I was operating at my peek and the new mothers guilt would suddenly kick in "I don't want to leave my baby i should be the only one to tend to his or her needs" but what I failed to realize is that at the end of the day I'm human and like myself you will one day learn that in life you're always going to have challenges ,peeks ,valleys, and etc and that you're not alone in this situation.it was 93 at the time I pushed through the bull crap and strived for my dreams if you want something bad enough there is nothing you can't do as a women .Now that was 22 years ago and my son is all grown up and guess what he doesn't love me any less because I couldn't give him my undivided attention all the time .remember it takes a village to raise a child and if you have a strong partner in your corner lick your wounds strap on your boots tight and continue to push forward .

Summerheat · Jul 3, 2015

Dear ToJay Robin:

I wouldn't advise you on what to do but I will tell you many have "booted" a test, a course even an entire year and still became nurses. I finally became a nurse practitioner against the odds. I found in graduate school, there were less supportive professors than even undergrad.

Undergrad Nursing: the two most important courses in my viewpoint are pharmacology and A & P. Consider a study partner(s) for those courses. Don't try to memorise all the drugs in a drug class for pharm. Instead, focus on a MAJOR drug for each class. Example: Pre-diabetes: lifestyle modification than prescribe a biguanide such as Metformin (Glucophage).

Finally, I had several nursing students when I was an instructor that went back when they were in their 60's to finish nursing coursework. Don't give up if that is the career you seek.

Best,

Summer Silverman, APRN, M.Ed, MS, FNP-BC

OHNBJL · Jul 4, 2015

I know how you feel!! I had a 2 yr old and was in school also. Time management was awful. I remember trying to finish a paper while my daughter was resting on my bed. She was fussing to get up. Well I delayed and she wet through all my bedding. If your husband is supportive get him involved. Give him a schedule. Don't expect him to anticipate your needs. Update it frequently and show him how much you appreciate his support. Tell him it's a group effort with long term benefits for the entire family. You are worth it. 77 isn't bad. You obviously know most of the material so review and update your knowledge. Don't give up!!! By the way. Daughter is now in college herself and I've been an RN for 35 years.

colleenpalmer · Jul 4, 2015

Just to encourage you. We all have days in school and on the job when we feel so discouraged that we feel as if the best thing to do is to quit.

Quitting is not an option. Anyone who is successful in life will tell you that they have had similar days. They are successful today because of the blood,sweat and tears that they put into achieving their goals.

Don't ever give up on your dreams. Nothing good comes easy. I believe that If you do not work hard for something it is not worth having. Tomorrow is another day. Make yourself and your child proud. Yes, you can do it!

CP-M

bryan_del, ADN, MSN · Jul 5, 2015

I say go for it. It's better to fail and try, although if you really want it I doubt you will, then not try and regret it

blackribbon · Jul 6, 2015

I didn't read all the response but am just one year out of nursing school. I am a widowed mother of two teenagers. I had no choice, I needed to go to school now because my source of financial support was running out. To survive school, I missed out on a lot of my kids' lives over that two years I was in community college. Since my kids were teenagers, they were able to survive and got a lot of good life skills (they can both grocery shop for a week for a family) and they bonded closely with each other (since my daughter was dependent on her brother for rides and he had to include her activities in his calendar as necessary). I graduated magna cum laude and have that "dream" job ... which is just as stressful and often causes me to be absentee from functions though I do have money now and can change my schedule within reason to make more events.

I doubt that you aren't smart enough but I will not sugar coat the time commitment that it takes to be successful. Your daughter is small and won't remember the absentee mom times as much as she would if you were older but your husband needs to be totally supportive in recognizing the time commitment that nursing school requires. I know a single mom who lost custody of her son for almost a year because her clinical schedule made it impossible to pick up her young son from the bus stop and we were not allowed to change our clinical schedule. Another mom was in tears because for the second year in a row, she got a evening clinical in October that made her have to break the promise to her kids about taking them trick or treating on Halloween. I personally sat in the baseball bleachers with my school books and only put them down when my kid was actually at bat...I never knew who actually won the game and had to ask other parents before I talked to my own kid after the game ( I was physically present and this was important to him). I have slept in the grass at his high school games and he knew to just come talk to me to wake me up when he was going to be put in to play the following innings ( I did see his over the fence homerun though, so our system "worked" in its own weird way). I also know a woman whose husband filed for divorce during her first nursing school semester because she didn't have dinner on the table every evening and the house was no longer emaculate (they went to counseling over Christmas and she did graduate still married...but he never acknowledged that she was honored at the national student nursing organization meeting for presenting a initiative that was passed at that level.) Many people do make it through nursing school with children but there is no easy way and everyone in your family must be committed to struggling through hard times.

defying.gravity · Jul 7, 2015

It is very disappointing to not achieve the grade you needed to pass pharm. I hope you go back into next semester with grit and determination and kick some pharm butt. Nursing knocks most of us down hard at least once or twice in our careers. Nursing can also teach us how tough and resilient we can be when we really decide that's what we are going to do.

Please don't let any grade, ever, define you, your aptitude for success, or your view of yourself. Let it motivate you to work harder, more effective, learn from your mistakes, and be challenged.

Since you have the syllabus from pharm, you can study in advance and organize your study habits based on your weaknesses in the class. Try to remember where you had difficulties and focus on that. These are skills you will use throughout your career, not just in school.

hstutz86 · Jul 9, 2015

I am doing pre-reqs so I don't know how intense NS is. However I am a mother of 2 and a wife. Time management is key. print a time table and write down your study time and break time. ALSO WAKE UP BEFORE EVERYONE. I wake up at 4 am to get math and some reading done till around 7 30 just about when they all wakeup. Im currently doing 3 courses all online.

You can do it! Just push yourself out of that bed 3 hours early, drink coffee and keep your head down. time flies when your organized!

hesi2016 · Jul 9, 2015

Hi Please do not give up . You only have one child plus a husband that supports you .This is so much more support than a lot of other people out there. My late grandmother was a nurse and she went back to school when she was in her thirties plus she had two kids and no husband. You can imagine how much harder it was back in those days. But she graduated at the top of her class and did professionally well in nursing. She loved to be a nurse and would over come every obstacle that came her way.

I am in my mid thirties now. I have recently been laid off my job and now trying to get in to the nursing program . I am currently studying for my hesi entrance exam. This would be a second career for me . I worked in corporate for 15 years. I have one child and no husband. I am determined at all cost to succeed in nursing. My grandmother has motivate me and she told me that I would make a great nurse. She has inspired me to pursue this goal of mines. And you should too . Just relax and study like crazy. It will pay off. I always say failure is not an option. You have made it this far to late to turn back. Good luck , I know you can do it. In order to win at anything you must be willing to risk failure .

explorereb96, ADN, BSN · Jul 15, 2015

Wow i am so glad that i didn't take that attitude when i was going through nursing school. i would have missed out on all the wonderful experiences in my lifetime. When I was in school, I was a single mom with 2 children (my son was 3 and my daughter was 1)...2 days a week they went to daycare and the other 3 days they went to grand mom's house. I had no life other than school and family. i had to pay the daycare but my parents watched them for free. When i came home, I spent time with them and paid special attention to them. i did not crack a book until they were in bed. They went to bed at 8:30pm on the dot. I then took my cup of tea and relaxed for a half hour. I then studied from 9pm until midnight, every night and that included weekends. i invited people over for study groups, most had kids too. We would take turns playing and watching the kids play together. We'd eat lunch and feed the kids and put them down for naps etc. It was survival. Get together with other students and study together. It sure helped me. I didn't always get great grades . i failed one or two classes in the beginning because i was trying to be a one man show as well as being everything to everybody. Your child will grow to be more self confident as she establishes relationships with others. The hugs will be fuller and she will appreciate your attention so much more when you are home than if you are there 24/7.

BecomingNursey · Jul 15, 2015

Totally understand. I had my daughter in the middle of nursing school and graduated after she turned 1. I just had to keep telling myself that it was all going to be worth it and that I'd much rather her not remember mommy being gone (because she was so little) than waiting to go to school and she remembered me being gone all the time.

You can do it OP! It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. Set priorities and stick to them.