Husband wants to try nursing at 44

Nurses Men

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I am his second wife and ever since he's known me I've been doing prereqs, on the waiting list, in nursing school and now, finally - an RN! So here I am a new grad RN and he has decided belatedly that he would like to try nursing.

His background is this: BS in Computer Science, many desk jobs in programming and teaching programming, some experience working in retail management. He is a GREAT teacher, and a GREAT salesman. He also is a dive instructor so has some experience with search and rescue and helping drowning people, etc. He is also fantastic with kids (has five of his own), the kind of big teddy bear type of guy that kids and dogs just love. He has been burned out on programming/retail for awhile now and hates the 9-5 desk thing. He has been staying home the last year to raise our 1 yr old while I finished school.

I think that actually he would make a fantastic nurse but we are both sort of daunted by the idea of starting all over again - with the prereqs, the classes, the studying, the NCLEX, etc. Is it worth it for him to try? Is it too late? Anyone other males out there who decided to recareer as a nurse at this age?

Melissa

How old are his 5 kids? Does he pay child support? I think that if his kids are minors, he should work at this time and concentrate on supporting his kids. If he is going to school for AT LEAST 2 years (and NOT working), how would he support them?

His kids should be his priority at this time.

Now of course, if they are NOT minors, then he should go for it.

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Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).
How old are his 5 kids? Does he pay child support? I think that if his kids are minors, he should work at this time and concentrate on supporting his kids. If he is going to school for AT LEAST 2 years (and NOT working), how would he support them?

His kids should be his priority at this time.

Now of course, if they are NOT minors, then he should go for it.

Uh, well, I was going to make a sarcastic reply, but I just remembered I'm trying to be nicer, so I'll try to give a thoughtful answer.

Certainly, parents have a duty to their children, but a father is more than a breadwinner. Actually, a friend of mine who is a single mom faces a similar problem, balancing her needs and those of her child. Fortunately, her parents are willing to help, and of course it's easy to see that my friend's education is an investment in her child's future. As a nurse, she can get a decent job with flexible hours, and present sacrifices will pay off with more time and money with which to--among other things--raise her child.

More relevent, possibly, to a father with a decent job, being more fulfilled in one's career make's one a more well-rounded person, and that seems bound to benefit one's children. I would also argue that responsibility to one's children doen't mean matyrdom to them. Parenting is not a sentence to 18 years of foregoing one's own happiness.

Finally, and especially in this forum, I find it hard to let go unchallenged the apparent assumption that financial support is solely, or even primarily, the responsibility of the father.

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Hmmm. Not that this has any relevance at all to my post here asking for advice about returning to nursing school - but if you must know - his ex wife did not ask for (and does not get) child support for their three kids together who are now teenagers. That was not part of their divorce settlement years ago and they are happy with their arrangement.

The other two kids are our kids together (they are 4 & 1) and if *I'm* not concerned about him supporting them, I can't see how you would be. He is a great stay-at-home dad now and was there to support me in every possible way when I was going through school. I figure I could do the same for him. Thanks for your concern.

Melissa

How old are his 5 kids? Does he pay child support? I think that if his kids are minors, he should work at this time and concentrate on supporting his kids. If he is going to school for AT LEAST 2 years (and NOT working), how would he support them?

His kids should be his priority at this time.

Now of course, if they are NOT minors, then he should go for it.

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Thank you for your comments :)

Melissa

Uh, well, I was going to make a sarcastic reply, but I just remembered I'm trying to be nicer, so I'll try to give a thoughtful answer.

Certainly, parents have a duty to their children, but a father is more than a breadwinner. Actually, a friend of mine who is a single mom faces a similar problem, balancing her needs and those of her child. Fortunately, her parents are willing to help, and of course it's easy to see that my friend's education is an investment in her child's future. As a nurse, she can get a decent job with flexible hours, and present sacrifices will pay off with more time and money with which to--among other things--raise her child.

More relevent, possibly, to a father with a decent job, being more fulfilled in one's career make's one a more well-rounded person, and that seems bound to benefit one's children. I would also argue that responsibility to one's children doen't mean matyrdom to them. Parenting is not a sentence to 18 years of foregoing one's own happiness.

Finally, and especially in this forum, I find it hard to let go unchallenged the apparent assumption that financial support is solely, or even primarily, the responsibility of the father.

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

Why the assumption that he would just leave his kids hanging? Is this what society has come too, the assumption that ALL divorced men are just out to abandon their responsibility? This makes me nervous because this was assumed without even knowing his situation. This goes without saying that you can work and go to school at the same time. I work full time and I am getting ready to start my final semester of nursing school before graduating this coming December. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE let's not conclude that ALL men who divorce are also deadbeat Dads. I was always taught to treat people like I wanted to be treated. Does the poster of this comment want everyone to assume they are a deadbeat, I seriously doubt it. Give Dads a chance to prove they are standup guys before we assume the worst.

(steps off his soapbox)

I said it before in a post to this thread and I will say it again ... GO FOR IT!!!

How old are his 5 kids? Does he pay child support? I think that if his kids are minors, he should work at this time and concentrate on supporting his kids. If he is going to school for AT LEAST 2 years (and NOT working), how would he support them?

His kids should be his priority at this time.

Now of course, if they are NOT minors, then he should go for it.

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Specializes in Psych, Ortho, Stroke, and TBI.

Let me preface this by saying I think he should go for it.

But I also don't think that pmw, should be chastized for bringing up elements that might come into question. Children, are important, and It's a legitimate point.

Just because it isn't the typical ra-ra "Go for it" answer doesn't mean it's invalid. Not everyone IS in a situation condusive to taking on a significant endeavor such as Nursing.

I didn't feel that pmw was suggesting that anyone was a deadbeat dad. Nor did it seem like there was any assumptions going on in that reply. He/she was asking questions about the children and the situation. And then goes on to say that "if they are not minors, then he should go for it."

Opinions are just that... opinions. And this thread, by virtue of being posted was searching for just that. If you don't want opinions, don't ask for them, because you might not get the answer you want.

So, let's not jump all over the person that comes up with an alternative angle, no matter how unpopular it may be.

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I've been plugging away at pre-reqs and core corriculum since Fall 2005. I'm 43 now and have worked 24 years as a NYS Correctional Officer. Father of three. Been accepted for Fall 2007 LPN. 4.0 GPA. Going back to school reinforced the importance of education to my children. We often do homework together. I feel my age has given me an unfair advantage sometimes. These young students have less life experience to draw from. Same wife for 20 years and she has been an RN for 23 years. She is my hero and I can wait to be an RN with her. It only gets better with age.

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Specializes in CCU/CVICU, Hemodialysis, ER, PALS Inst..

Hey-My husband is right there with you and I couldn't be prouder. He starts RN school in August and is 35 years old. After 16 years in the Army Infantry, he has decided to go to RN school. This has all been in the works for over a year. For the Army he had to put a packet together and go through a whole selection process and for being 1 of 75 selected, I think that's pretty darn good. And I did see quite a few men on that list. I think it's wonderful that nursing is no longer a predominant female profession. He was worried a bit about being the oldest guy in his nursing class but I doubt he will. I think for the most part he's been a bit older in his pre-req classes though. We had nursing students from the same college doing their preceptorship come through our department this past semester and all were men and 2 were over 30.

I am very excited to welcome him into the nursing profession! Good luck to you all!

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I've been plugging away at pre-reqs and core corriculum since Fall 2005. I'm 43 now and have worked 24 years as a NYS Correctional Officer. Father of three. Been accepted for Fall 2007 LPN. 4.0 GPA. Going back to school reinforced the importance of education to my children. We often do homework together. I feel my age has given me an unfair advantage sometimes. These young students have less life experience to draw from. Same wife for 20 years and she has been an RN for 23 years. She is my hero and I can wait to be an RN with her. It only gets better with age.

Experimenter,

43??? Hey you're just a young whippersnapper! Besides the edge you get from age, you also have experience with a particular population that probably doesn't get good care in general. Study on, Dude! It is fun to study with kids. It's a bunch of bull about the mind getting less strong - the more you put into it, the stronger it gets. All the so-called "nontraditional" nursing students is good for the profession in general. There will be patients that will feel more comfortable with you because of your age and experience. Meanwhile, your kids will benefit from seeing you study. It makes the activity just a normal part of life, so you're being a great influence on them. Courage!

Diahni

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Specializes in geriatric, hospice, med/surg.

What I found in my quest to receive my nursing degree was there was a bottomless pit of inspirational and inner strengths from which to draw to get through the endless studying, clinicals, passing state board exam to become licensed. If he truly wants to get his degree in nursing, don't let what you went through to get yours deter you from encouraging him. There is no limit to how happy and satisfied one can be when one finds a career that is satisfying and generally makes one feel that they've truly done something worthwhile with their eight or twelve hours on a shift. Much, much different than that typical 9-5 job. I say encourage him to go for it....also, never too late to learn a new career or anything new, for that matter. Keeps the brain and heart alive and lively! Good luck to you both.

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I believe I read somewhere (on AllNurses.com, perhaps?) that the average age of male nursing students is 42.

Good luck!

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I think this is a great example for your children! It shows them that life is full of possibilities and that you can pursue new goals no matter how old you are. I also believe that when you take care of your own needs, you become more able to meet the needs of your family. How fun is it to have a family member who is depressed, angry, resentful, or tired because they are unhappy with their job or life? I think most children want their parents to be happy, not sacrificial lambs. He should definitely go for it!! Who wants to teach their kids to go ahead and suffer at a job that you hate and are burned out on or that you need to sacrifice your life and happiness for your family? Speaking from personal experience, it is HORRIBLE to have to get up everyday and go to a job that makes you miserable. I wish you, your husband, and your family lots of luck and happiness!

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